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#1 Feb 23 2014 at 11:32 AM Rating: Excellent
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Once upon a time, there was a young internet forum full of potential and EQ nerds. One fine day, not so different from any other day, there was an ominous silence resounding through the cavernous halls of Allakhazam. Then it started.. What seemed to be the distant sound of a freight train barreling across the cyber plains, slowly increased in volume and intensity.

By the time the gates were nearly secured it was too late, the threat was upon us. Like the Orc siege on Helm’s Deep, THEY came in droves. First they stayed outside the chain link fences in their own pen known as =10. Who knew they could be so ravenous, devouring everything with their strange love for anything Japanese and skin like rice paper. Eventually, the numbers were too many and the threat poured into the out of topics.

Then Bob did see this was the beginning of the end of days and sent the 4 horsemen to slay they rice paper skinned with wet noodles, a stick and Twix bars for bait.

The war of years raged on as the horsemen and their legion destroyed mound after mound of thin skins.

After the great war, came great peace. The thin skins had been vanquished, the fences erected and Biohazard signs erected to ward away those who might wander into the forbidden zone. The wombats did feast upon the fetid corpses and stragglers alike, with the fury of a thousand ban-hammers.

There was no need for the 4 horsemen any longer. Eventually they were summoned back to Valhalla to await the next insurrection.

After a period of respite, The Flying spaghetti monster chose one horseman to check in on things at the once thriving metropolis of discourse. The results were grim. No longer did anyone understand what was funny. No longer was there wonder and joy of simply sitting and watching a train wreck.

No! Now the netizens resembled well adorned skeletons. Undead kings lording over their empty kingdom because all sense of humour had now regularly been stomped out like a spark from a fire.

Perhaps the new sanctuary will revive the eternal spark that once existed, but maybe it is where the dinosaurs go to die.


RIP sweet prince…





Dedicated to the old days.
#2 Feb 23 2014 at 11:42 AM Rating: Good
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I pulled up to the house, 'bout seven or eight
'nd yelled to the cabbie "Yo homes, smell you later."
I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there,
To sit on my throne, as the Prince of Bel-air.
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#3 Feb 23 2014 at 2:02 PM Rating: Decent
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wait.... are you trying to say that the majority of OOT have thick skins now? Do we need to test this theory?
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#4 Feb 23 2014 at 2:23 PM Rating: Excellent
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Elderon wrote:
Whatever happened to the big bad Asylum?

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#5 Feb 23 2014 at 2:30 PM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
Elderon wrote:
Whatever happened to the big bad Asylum?


Google
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#6 Feb 23 2014 at 2:58 PM Rating: Good
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DSD wrote:
wait.... are you trying to say that the majority of OOT have thick skins now? Do we need to test this theory?


No, not thick skins. It's just like an ecosystem that is lacking in predators. The prey will run rampant and propagate until they eat themselves out of existence.
#7 Feb 23 2014 at 3:00 PM Rating: Good
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Judging by the number of posts the oot and asylum have had in the past years, I don't think there is a lot of prey running rampant with no predators to keep them in check.
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#8 Feb 23 2014 at 4:50 PM Rating: Good
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TirithRR wrote:
Judging by the number of posts the oot and asylum have had in the past years, I don't think there is a lot of prey running rampant with no predators to keep them in check.



That's the point. All that's left in that gene pool is the few stragglers that managed to horde away some food. Take you for example...
#9 Feb 23 2014 at 6:16 PM Rating: Decent
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Elderon wrote:
DSD wrote:
wait.... are you trying to say that the majority of OOT have thick skins now? Do we need to test this theory?


No, not thick skins. It's just like an ecosystem that is lacking in predators. The prey will run rampant and propagate until they eat themselves out of existence.

No worries. With Google destroying our own environment, I'm pretty sure both will be merged at some point and the natural selection process will begin anew
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DSD kicked Alma in the **** on another thread over the weekend. Clearly, she kicked too hard as he's obviously still feeling it.

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#10 Feb 24 2014 at 2:36 AM Rating: Good
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Either that or it will be one big Joph vs Gbaji back and forth over politics.
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Aethien you take more terrible pictures than a Japanese tourist.
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#11 Feb 24 2014 at 6:01 AM Rating: Good
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Or Alma and gbaji...
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#12 Feb 24 2014 at 6:28 AM Rating: Good
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That would be even worse.
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YOU'RE AN ELITIST @#%^ AETHIEN, NO WONDER YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS AND PEOPLE HATE YOU.
someproteinguy wrote:
Aethien you take more terrible pictures than a Japanese tourist.
Astarin wrote:
One day, Maz, you'll learn not to click on anything Aeth links.
#13 Feb 24 2014 at 6:53 AM Rating: Good
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Sometime's jokes are left unlaughted at simply because they're not funny.

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#14 Feb 24 2014 at 7:13 AM Rating: Good
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His Excellency Aethien wrote:
That would be even worse.
Philistine. Those are always funny.
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#15 Feb 24 2014 at 8:03 AM Rating: Good
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I don't find walls of inane drivel funny but if that's your thing then more power to you.
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Theophany wrote:
YOU'RE AN ELITIST @#%^ AETHIEN, NO WONDER YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS AND PEOPLE HATE YOU.
someproteinguy wrote:
Aethien you take more terrible pictures than a Japanese tourist.
Astarin wrote:
One day, Maz, you'll learn not to click on anything Aeth links.
#16 Feb 24 2014 at 8:13 AM Rating: Good
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A Springtime Fable:

The Google-eyed Kraken was released, the earth shook, the interwaves crashed with tsunami force, over-heated and over-clocked the foundation split spewing smoke, stink and atom-splitting dirty words. The Kraken, with the power of a polar vortex consumed entirely.

The beast burped with the force of Mount Vesuvius on Pliny day. Meme's shot into the air, trolls were blown to smithereens, letters were torn from their words. Finally the monster, satiated, bedded down for future centuries to come. There was total stillness and complete silence. No cigarettes no sleep no light no sound.

Somewhere buried beneath layers of webby detritus are the posts of the Asylum.

...waiting for the prophesy to be fulfilled.
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#17 Feb 24 2014 at 11:28 AM Rating: Excellent
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As an escapee from =10 I resemble the OP.
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#18 Feb 24 2014 at 12:38 PM Rating: Excellent
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Catwho wrote:
As an escapee from =10 I resemble the OP.


Did the OP show Cleavage to win PotM, too?
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#19 Feb 24 2014 at 1:14 PM Rating: Good
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Professor stupidmonkey wrote:

Did the OP show Cleavage to win PotM, too?

No way an gurl could get this highly prestigious title legitimately.
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#20 Feb 24 2014 at 4:16 PM Rating: Good
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Elinda wrote:
Professor stupidmonkey wrote:

Did the OP show Cleavage to win PotM, too?

No way an gurl could get this highly prestigious title legitimately.


If I remember correctly, she actually did change her profile picture to one of her cleavage to get people to vote for her.

Or maybe that was something else... but it seems vaguely familiar.
#21 Feb 24 2014 at 4:18 PM Rating: Good
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Belkira the Tulip wrote:
Elinda wrote:
Professor stupidmonkey wrote:

Did the OP show Cleavage to win PotM, too?

No way an gurl could get this highly prestigious title legitimately.


If I remember correctly, she actually did change her profile picture to one of her cleavage to get people to vote for her.

Or maybe that was something else... but it seems vaguely familiar.


Nope, you are correct. About the profile pic change I mean, who knows if people voted for her cleavage. Maybe she won by the **** vote. Smiley: tongue
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#22 Feb 26 2014 at 1:10 PM Rating: Good
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The First Law of Asylodynamics:

The increase of bad trolls and thin-skinned whiny-crybabies of the forum equals the amount of snarky entertainment added to the system minus the work done by the admins.

Though this may sound complex, it's really a very simple idea. If you add crappy posters to a forum, there are only two things that can be done -- change the level of what is acceptable and relevant on the Asylum or verbally assault and troll the posters into a quivering paste of failed humanity (or, of course, some combination of the two). All forum posts must go into doing these things.
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#23 Feb 26 2014 at 1:14 PM Rating: Good
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Second Law of Asylodynamics:

It is impossible for a post to have as its sole relevance the transfer of troll-posts from a thin-skinned poster to a thick-skinned one.

The second law of asylodynamics is formulated in many ways, as will be addressed shortly, but is basically a law which - unlike most other laws of Allakhazam forums - deals not with how to post something, but rather deals entirely with placing a restriction on what can be posted.
It is a law that says Bob constrains us from getting certain kinds of posts without putting a lot of work into them, and as such is also closely tied to the concept of the conservation of interest and relevance, much as the first law of asylodynamics is.

In practical applications, this law means that any Asylumite or similar poster based upon the principles of asylodynamics cannot, even in theory, be 100% efficient.
This principle was first illuminated by the hot-headed EQer and poster Mobiuslord, as he developed his troll cycle post in 2001, and was later formalized as a law of asylodynamics by EQ elitist Smasheroo.

OOT and the Second Law of Asylodynamics


The second law of asylodynamics is perhaps the most popular outside of the standard OOT model, because it is closely related to the concept of =10, or the disorder created during the FFXI poster invasion of 2004. Reformulated as a statement regarding interesting and relevant posts, the second law reads:

In any closed forum, the irrelevance and lack of interesting posts of the forum will either remain constant or increase.


In other words, each time a forum goes through an influx of thin-skinned posters and circle-jerks, the forum can never completely return to precisely the same state it was in before. This is one definition used for the arrow of time, since circle-jerking and dullness of subject matter of forum posts will always increase over time according to the second law of asylodynamics.

Other Second Law Formulations

(quotes may be paraphrased)

To troll on a message-board with the only final result being to circle-jerk the other trolls of a similar level of douche-baggery throughout is impossible. - Bodhisattva, Drama Nerdvana

A cycle of trolling whose only final result is to troll the same trolls and maintain the same level of trollishness in a given forum is impossible. - NephthysWanderer, Eater of Souls

GFY, #12 - Nobby, Ministry of Silly Cnuts

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#24 Feb 26 2014 at 1:48 PM Rating: Excellent
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I'm going to have to see some math I don't understand before I can believe any of that.
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#25 Feb 26 2014 at 1:56 PM Rating: Good
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(=28+#12)/=10 =GFY

Edited, Feb 26th 2014 2:57pm by Kelvyquayo
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#26 Feb 26 2014 at 2:05 PM Rating: Excellent
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No #DIV/0! or something to spice it up a little?

Smiley: disappointed
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#27 Feb 26 2014 at 2:07 PM Rating: Good
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#DIV/0! ≠ LOL
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#28 Feb 26 2014 at 2:16 PM Rating: Excellent
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Smiley: oyvey
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#29 Feb 26 2014 at 2:32 PM Rating: Good
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someproteinguy wrote:
Smiley: oyvey

fSmiley: oyvey = -Smiley: cool +/- [1/(Smiley: drool)(Smiley: cookie)]n
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#30 Feb 26 2014 at 2:34 PM Rating: Good
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This thread does bear some resemblance to a natural log.
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#31 Feb 26 2014 at 2:41 PM Rating: Excellent
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Elinda wrote:
someproteinguy wrote:
Smiley: oyvey

fSmiley: oyvey = -Smiley: cool +/- [1/(Smiley: drool)(Smiley: cookie)]n
Exactly, Elinda gets rate ups not that it makes a difference... Smiley: glare, now the forum will never be the same.

Ever.

*cue maniacal laughter*

Edited, Feb 26th 2014 12:42pm by someproteinguy
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#32 Feb 26 2014 at 3:12 PM Rating: Good
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Shaowstrike the Shady wrote:
Belkira the Tulip wrote:
Elinda wrote:
Professor stupidmonkey wrote:

Did the OP show Cleavage to win PotM, too?

No way an gurl could get this highly prestigious title legitimately.


If I remember correctly, she actually did change her profile picture to one of her cleavage to get people to vote for her.

Or maybe that was something else... but it seems vaguely familiar.


Nope, you are correct. About the profile pic change I mean, who knows if people voted for her cleavage. Maybe she won by the **** vote. Smiley: tongue


Thankfully every year I grow less young and stupid.

Setting your own boobs as a profile pic seems like a great idea when you're 25-ish. Smiley: disappointed

A decade later and you realize that other people have much nicer boobs you could have used and very few people would have known the difference.
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#33 Feb 26 2014 at 3:25 PM Rating: Excellent
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Some people get that in less than ten years. Jus' saiyan.
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#34 Feb 26 2014 at 10:21 PM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
Some people get that in less than ten years. Jus' Super saiyan.


ETA: If memory serves, she was nominated, and the nominees would write posts about themselves, and Catwho said she would post Cleave if she won. Which she did. So she did.

Edited, Feb 26th 2014 8:23pm by stupidmonkey
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#35 Feb 27 2014 at 12:54 PM Rating: Good
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Professor stupidmonkey wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
Some people get that in less than ten years. Jus' Super saiyan.


ETA: If memory serves, she was nominated, and the nominees would write posts about themselves, and Catwho said she would post Cleave if she won. Which she did. So she did.


Where are Cat's cleavage pictures now?
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#36 Feb 27 2014 at 1:03 PM Rating: Excellent
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Elinda wrote:
Professor stupidmonkey wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
Some people get that in less than ten years. Jus' Super saiyan.


ETA: If memory serves, she was nominated, and the nominees would write posts about themselves, and Catwho said she would post Cleave if she won. Which she did. So she did.


Where are Cat's cleavage pictures now?
Hidden behind giant black squares as part of Google's wholesome internet initiative.
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