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One Half BEELION DOLLAHSFollow

#1 Mar 29 2012 at 5:46 PM Rating: Good
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The Megamillions Lottery jackpot is up to $540,000,000 -- a world record! Will you be participating?

Going to buy in?
No, because I hate lotteries and say witty things like "It's a tax on being dumb":6 (17.1%)
No, because I don't live in a state hosting the lottery/in the US/too young/not sure where the gas station is:3 (8.6%)
Wait, there's a lottery?:4 (11.4%)
Sure, I'll buy a single ticket just for the daydreams:12 (34.3%)
I'm buying multiple tickets. Gonna win this one!:6 (17.1%)
I'm buying into an office pool so it'll end up like the post-Lufthansa heist scenes in Goodfellas:2 (5.7%)
I'm going to whine below because internet forum polls are srs bzines:2 (5.7%)
Total:35
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#2 Mar 29 2012 at 5:49 PM Rating: Excellent
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I meant to get a ticket or two today and never got around to it, so I'll run out tomorrow and buy 2, maybe 3. Just for the lulz. And also, I've won $30 on Powerball before, I might just pull that off again!
#3 Mar 29 2012 at 5:49 PM Rating: Excellent
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I'm totally going to win and get a moneybin like Scrooge McDuck.
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#4 Mar 29 2012 at 6:02 PM Rating: Excellent
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I might buy a ticket for the lulz, but honestly I'm in the "Wait, there's a lottery?!" category.

After my father became too disabled to bowl any more, he started putting his bowling money into the lottery. He got it all back because at the time GA was using the lotto to fund the Hope Scholarship, which I used for my first year of school for a free ride from the state.
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#5 Mar 29 2012 at 6:10 PM Rating: Excellent
My mom mentioned this to me last night. She's buying several tickets, but I'm not because I'm broke until I get paid next week. Oh well. Maybe if she wins, she'll share with me. [:hopeful:]
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#6 Mar 29 2012 at 6:15 PM Rating: Good
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Going to spend thirty million on tickets, sounds like a good investment.
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#7 Mar 29 2012 at 6:18 PM Rating: Good
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I bought a few tickets. We gotta pay for edjumacation in this country somehow.
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#8 Mar 29 2012 at 6:24 PM Rating: Good
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I'll buy one, because might as well.
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#9 Mar 29 2012 at 6:30 PM Rating: Decent
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idiggory, King of Bards wrote:
I'll buy one, because might as well.

Hey - you never know!


Actually, I think that's the slogan for the New York Lottery.



Edited, Mar 29th 2012 8:31pm by Debalic
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we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#10 Mar 29 2012 at 6:37 PM Rating: Excellent
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It'll only be like an eighth of a billion dollars after taxes.

@#%^in' Obama.
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#11 Mar 29 2012 at 6:53 PM Rating: Excellent
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Couple hundred million will buy you a lot of Super PAC ads!
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#12 Mar 29 2012 at 6:54 PM Rating: Good
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Red Doctor don't come cheap. Smiley: frown
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#13 Mar 29 2012 at 6:59 PM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
Red Doctor don't come cheap. Smiley: frown

Cheaper than finding a grackle handler.
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#14 Mar 29 2012 at 7:06 PM Rating: Excellent
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With my riches, I could hire Red Doctor to handle my grackle.

If you know what I mean. 'Cause I sure don't.
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#15 Mar 29 2012 at 7:24 PM Rating: Good
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If you had half a billion dollars, no one would need to know what you meant. You'd have a robot for that.
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#16 Mar 29 2012 at 7:26 PM Rating: Good
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I'd buy you a green dress.

But not a real green dress. That's cruel.
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#17 Mar 29 2012 at 7:56 PM Rating: Excellent
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One year for my birthday I didn't want anything in particular, so we had a party and I asked everyone to bring me lottery tickets. I had hundreds.

I won five bucks.

I'm not the one the lottery fairy is looking for.
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#18 Mar 29 2012 at 8:19 PM Rating: Good
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I literally can't afford lottery tickets at the moment and probably wouldn't buy any if I could.
#19 Mar 29 2012 at 8:48 PM Rating: Good
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I ran across the street and bought 1 (literally, just 1 entry). I can spare a buck to spend the evening imagining the trip around the world I'd take to celebrate my winnings.
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#20 Mar 29 2012 at 9:10 PM Rating: Good
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I'm $15 up on lottery tickets, so I guess I could purchase that many in tickets and still unconditionally maintain some sort of weird, undeserved sense of pride.
#21 Mar 29 2012 at 9:43 PM Rating: Good
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Since I had to fill up the old gas tank anyway, I dropped five bucks on the lottery while I was there. If I miraculously beat the odds and actually win, my first act shall be to purchase Zam and change it's name back to Allahkazam.
#22 Mar 29 2012 at 9:44 PM Rating: Excellent
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My office always does a pool when it gets big, so I am in there, and I may have spent five bucks to go solo also.

That sounds dirty.
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#23 Mar 29 2012 at 9:46 PM Rating: Decent
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So...any plans on how to spend this kind of moolah? I'd pay my way into the PGA Tour.
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#24 Mar 29 2012 at 9:48 PM Rating: Excellent
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Debalic wrote:
So...any plans on how to spend this kind of moolah? I'd pay my way into the PGA Tour.


I announced today at work that if I won, I would keep my job, I would just do it horribly.
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#25 Mar 29 2012 at 9:52 PM Rating: Good
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Professor stupidmonkey wrote:
Debalic wrote:
So...any plans on how to spend this kind of moolah? I'd pay my way into the PGA Tour.


I announced today at work that if I won, I would keep my job, I would just do it horribly.


With that kind of scratch, the better idea would be to buy the company and fire everyone you don't like.
#26 Mar 29 2012 at 9:54 PM Rating: Excellent
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Turin wrote:
Professor stupidmonkey wrote:
Debalic wrote:
So...any plans on how to spend this kind of moolah? I'd pay my way into the PGA Tour.


I announced today at work that if I won, I would keep my job, I would just do it horribly.


With that kind of scratch, the better idea would be to buy the company and fire everyone you don't like.


I just want to sit there, doing a horrible job, have someone say something to me, and then buy the company, so I can fire THAT person.

"You know, you aren't really doing any work, I might need to let you go."

"NO, IT IS I WHO MUST LET YOU GO!!"

Smiley: lol
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#27 Mar 29 2012 at 11:50 PM Rating: Good
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idiggory, King of Bards wrote:
I ran across the street and bought 1 (literally, just 1 entry). I can spare a buck to spend the evening imagining the trip around the world I'd take to celebrate my winnings.
Well, good luck on your estimated one in 175,000,000 chance of getting filthy stinking rich.
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#28 Mar 30 2012 at 3:19 AM Rating: Good
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I dishonestly picked the one about Goodfellas because I love that movie.
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#29 Mar 30 2012 at 4:27 AM Rating: Good
I bought 1 ticket. If I win I'll buy a bar & travel, not necessarily in that order.

Also, I'm sure a lot of it would go into my impending nuptials.
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#30 Mar 30 2012 at 4:34 AM Rating: Good
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I spend approximately $5 a week on various tickets(usually a mega and a powerball), usually from tips or leftover lunch money. Mostly for the daydreams. This week, it's all Megas, because the daydreams are better... much more running and screaming as the masses run in fear of me and my giant robot.
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#31 Mar 30 2012 at 5:52 AM Rating: Good
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£337,542,193 would sure help with my student loans... Someone buy me a ticket.

Edited, Mar 30th 2012 7:53am by Nilatai
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#32 Mar 30 2012 at 6:52 AM Rating: Excellent
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And if no one wins it tonight, that would probably push it up to around $800 mil next week.

Smiley: jawdrop
#33 Mar 30 2012 at 7:03 AM Rating: Excellent
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Omegavegeta wrote:
Also, I'm sure a lot of it would go into my impending nuptials.
That's a lot of shoe shopping.
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#34 Mar 30 2012 at 7:44 AM Rating: Good
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Not buyin' in, myself. I've got an image to maintain, here.

The image of a dude who will never be a multi-millionaire, apparently.
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#35 Mar 30 2012 at 7:59 AM Rating: Good
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I put some money into the office pool at work for the hell of it. I don't have grand visions of winning, but you never know! Maybe I should sacrifice a pigeon or something today, just in case.


Edited, Mar 30th 2012 10:00am by Dozer
#36 Mar 30 2012 at 8:09 AM Rating: Good
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Jonwin had to go to PT, so I handed him a five to buy some lotto tickets while he out, on the miniscule chance we might win.
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#37 Mar 30 2012 at 8:48 AM Rating: Good
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Debalic wrote:
So...any plans on how to spend this kind of moolah? I'd pay my way into the PGA Tour.

I'd buy the Carolina Hurricane and move them back to Hartford.

Return of the Whale!
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#38 Mar 30 2012 at 9:41 AM Rating: Good
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Turin wrote:
Since I had to fill up the old gas tank anyway, I dropped five bucks on the lottery while I was there. If I miraculously beat the odds and actually win, my first act shall be to purchase Zam and change it's name back to Allahkazam.

Smiley: thumbsup
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#39 Mar 30 2012 at 10:14 AM Rating: Good
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I've never won anything gambling, ever, so I shot BT down yesterday at the gas station by default. It is my birthday today, maybe I should get one....
#40 Mar 30 2012 at 10:54 AM Rating: Excellent
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The jackpot's at $640 million now.
#41 Mar 30 2012 at 11:03 AM Rating: Good
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If you want the money in one lump sum, don't you only get a much smaller portion of it? What kind of money could one expect to walk away with if they won the 640 mil?
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#42 Mar 30 2012 at 11:07 AM Rating: Excellent
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The very very very first thing I would do is get a lawyer.

Then get an accountant.

Then get an investment manager.

Let them sort it all out, set me up with a yearly stipend of 100K, and live off the interest.

Oh. And maybe buy a Tesla Roadster.

Edited, Mar 30th 2012 1:08pm by catwho
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#43 Mar 30 2012 at 11:15 AM Rating: Good
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Eske Esquire wrote:
If you want the money in one lump sum, don't you only get a much smaller portion of it? What kind of money could one expect to walk away with if they won the 640 mil?

The cash option is $460M right now, annuity is $640M.

You choose which you want when you buy the ticket.
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#44 Mar 30 2012 at 11:23 AM Rating: Good
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I don't know why you wouldn't take the annuity on a sum like that, or any of the jumbo lotteries you guys have.
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#45 Mar 30 2012 at 11:23 AM Rating: Good
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idiggory, King of Bards wrote:
Eske Esquire wrote:
If you want the money in one lump sum, don't you only get a much smaller portion of it? What kind of money could one expect to walk away with if they won the 640 mil?

The cash option is $460M right now, annuity is $640M.

You choose which you want when you buy the ticket.


Ah, thanks. That's actually much more than I thought it would be.

The office has decided that they're going to also go in for the Powerball ($60 million or so?), since they figure it's being sort of ignored in favor of the Mega Millions. For my part, I'm wondering if any of them would be feeling particularly charitable to their young intern if they happen to win.

Edited, Mar 30th 2012 1:24pm by Eske
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#46 Mar 30 2012 at 11:25 AM Rating: Excellent
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Uglysasquatch wrote:
I don't know why you wouldn't take the annuity on a sum like that, or any of the jumbo lotteries you guys have.
For groups of people that make pools to buy tickets.
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#47 Mar 30 2012 at 11:27 AM Rating: Good
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That is, of course, not counting taxes. Dunno if you you'll face different tax options elsewhere, because I don't know how gaming winnings are taxed, but its feasible (when the sums are smaller) that annuity payouts could dip below a certain tax threshold to ultimately let you pay less. But that's just conjecture.
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#48 Mar 30 2012 at 11:37 AM Rating: Excellent
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Demea wrote:
Debalic wrote:
So...any plans on how to spend this kind of moolah? I'd pay my way into the PGA Tour.

I'd buy the Carolina Hurricane and move them back to Hartford.

Return of the Whale!
Goddamnit, any time anyone says "return of----" I immediately start singing this in my head and it doesn't go away. @#%^ you, Twiz.
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#49 Mar 30 2012 at 11:45 AM Rating: Good
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I'd be killing people if that happened to me.
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#50 Mar 30 2012 at 11:47 AM Rating: Good
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Well, now Return of the Mack is stuck in my head. Which may, or may not be an improvement over the Avengers Rap that it replaced.
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#51 Mar 30 2012 at 11:57 AM Rating: Excellent
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lolgaxe wrote:
Well, now Return of the Mack is stuck in my head. Which may, or may not be an improvement over the Avengers Rap that it replaced.


I have little sympathy for you at the moment.

He's Gump, He's Gump, He's Gump, is he imbred?

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