POD wrote:
Yup, 'cause bisexuality doesn't exist.
How is that a contradiction? If you claim to be bisexual, by definition, that's an attraction to both men and women. According to the context of this conversation, you're saying that you're "hard wired" to like both. However, if for some reason you are not liking both men and women, i.e. only one sex, neither sex, animals, objects, or nothing, then you are not bisexual. There is no contradiction.
POD wrote:
Again, I never said poly people don't experience jealousy. We do, we just use it for practical purposes (or try to at least). Kind of like how when someone pisses you off, you can turn around and use that energy to get something important done.
That means you aren't "Hard wired" to be in a poly relationship. If you have to consciously tell yourself on how to focus your energy, then it isn't "hard wired". I don't tell myself to be attracted to Angelina Jolie or Lark Voorhies. It's natural. So, if you prescribe to being "hard wired", then that would be the definition of being "hard wired". Telling yourself not to care means that you actually have some care.
POD wrote:
If you re-read my post, this would be included in me talking about "not having your needs met." If you want expensive dinners and world wide trips, and your partner is not providing these to you, but is provided them to someone else, you have every right in the world to be jealous.
If you re-read my post, this would be excluded from your "not having your needs met.". The situation describes your "needs being met". However, another partner (with a higher standard of needs) is having better treatment than you. You could very well still experience jealousy not due to losing a partner or not having your needs met. If your "needs" is equal to what everyone else is getting, then it's purely based on jealousy. "Why can't I get that? I want that too!!"
POD wrote:
How about you read above?
I did
POD wrote:
Like I said, I don't prescribe to the concept of "true love."
Wait... so multiple partners and no concept of true love?! Sounds life time fulfilling..
POD wrote:
Also, referring to people as "side pieces" is degrading. None of the people I am involved with are side pieces. Sure, I may not have the same type of feelings for them all, but that doesn't mean I don't care about them.
I hate to break your heart, but in a poly-relationship with no concept of true love SOMEONE is a side piece, period. Else, there would be a more fortified commitment. Being a side piece doesn't have to be negative. In the bare definition, it's merely someone other than the primary. Your BWF is the prime definition of a side piece. That doesn't mean that you don't care about the person. As long as he knows that he isn't number one, then it's all cool.
With me, unless I'm willing to fully commit to one person, I stay single. Doing so, I acquire FWBs and it's all good as long as everyone knows what's going and you aren't pretending or lying about anything.
POD wrote:
When you call people "side pieces," you are showing that you do not care about these people that you sleep with. You see them as objects, for you to use or throw away as you see fit. I find that despicable.
That's not an accurate definition. Why do you think people have affairs with married people or have friends with benefits? If the person isn't your primary, then that person is a side piece, no matter how much you love him. However, if your "love" is relatively equal for everyone, then there is no side piece. You can't have a number 1 and then have other people that aren't side pieces.
POD wrote:
Again, you are viewing people as objects to be replace here.
That's a lot coming from a person who can't fully commit to one person..
POD wrote:
My primary is not replaceable. Hell, NONE of my partners are replaceable. They are all individual people, whom I love and respect for themselves. Just because you view people as replaceable doesn't mean that I do.
Uhhhhh... If you have more than one person, then you're replacing people.. That is unless you're with them at the same time. For some reason, you're focusing on the lowest form of interpretation. If you transfer your attention, emotion, time, etc. from one person to another person, then you have effectively replaced person A with person B. Just because it wasn't for sex or permanent doesn't change that fact.
I fully believe in monogamy. If my girlfriend/wife is unable to attend an event with me, I wouldn't go with another woman. If it were, let's say her sister, then she would not get the same treatment as my girlfriend/wife. That treatment is reserved for my girlfriend/wife because she is not only number one, but the only one. By treating her sister in the same manner, I have effectively replaced her with her sister on some level.
POD wrote:
Um, yeah that isn't compersion. You are happy she has a new relationship because you don't want her developing feelings for you. I will at least acknowledge that those feelings are noble because you don't want her getting hurt by falling for you, but it still isn't the same thing. Read what I wrote again. Perhaps I should have mentioned that compersion is deriving pleasure from your partner experiencing pleasure with another without any strings attached. What you just described, those are strings. If you weren't worried about her falling for you, would you be happy that she was starting a relationship with someone new? Or would you just not care either way? From what you have described, it sounds like you wouldn't care either way.
Caring for your friends' happiness is "Friends 101". I generally don't like having "friends" and I do know that much. Why would you not be excited for your friend being positively happy, no matter the situation? It's no different if she got a new job, won the lotto, became pregnant, graduated school or any other positive goal. One of my greatest forms of happiness is seeing people who work hard, achieve our goals.
POD wrote:
Now, that doesn't mean that I want him to stop seeing other people. I still want him to be happy. We have thought about things, and we have discussed ways in which we think we can work on our relationship and make it better. But I guess that because I don't mind him @#%^ing someone else, that means I don't really love him, right?
We are all different. As long as each person is in agreement, then there isn't any reason why grown adults can't work it out. I never said that you didn't love him. My argument is that if it doesn't bother you in the least bit, then I personally don't believe you have reached the highest form of love with that individual. Since that isn't measurable and is subjective, I can't say that you have or haven't as a fact. However, based on my life experience, if I had to guestimate, I would say that you haven't.
Edited, Feb 13th 2012 12:56pm by Almalieque 
Miracle Max says that after he smacks his lips. 
Again, I never said poly people don't experience jealousy. We do, we just use it for practical purposes (or try to at least). Kind of like how when someone pisses you off, you can turn around and use that energy to get something important done. 
Yet you fail to grasp simple concepts. Obviously you have a sentimental attachment to her and you're too weak to hear the truth. That's fine, but don't think your destitute insults will phase that. You haven't provided any evidence to the contrary to anything mentioned.