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#1 Aug 19 2011 at 8:25 AM Rating: Good
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Creationist theme park

With 75% break in property taxes too!!
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#2 Aug 19 2011 at 8:29 AM Rating: Good
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I'm guessing a petting zoo is going to be involved.
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#3 Aug 19 2011 at 8:33 AM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
I'm guessing a petting zoo is going to be involved.

...and a Tower of Babel.
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#4 Aug 19 2011 at 8:37 AM Rating: Excellent
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That picture looks like the least fun theme park on earth.
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#5 Aug 19 2011 at 8:41 AM Rating: Decent
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I imagine there will be a 7 hour spank-o-tron ride too.
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SSubZero wrote:

MNK: "OK we're gonna go in and get those items."
WHM: "Did you have a plan?"
MNK: "Plan? I was going to walk through the front door and start punching people."
#6 Aug 19 2011 at 8:54 AM Rating: Good
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www.answersingenesis.org wrote:
Answers in Genesis is an apologetics (i.e., Christianity-defending) ministry, dedicated to enabling Christians to defend their faith and to proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ effectively. We focus particularly on providing answers to questions surrounding the book of Genesis, as it is the most-attacked book of the Bible. We also desire to train others to develop a biblical worldview, and seek to expose the bankruptcy of evolutionary ideas, and its bedfellow, a “millions of years old” earth (and even older universe).
AiG teaches that “facts” don’t speak for themselves, but must be interpreted. That is, there aren’t separate sets of “evidences” for evolution and creation—we all deal with the same evidence (we all live on the same earth, have the same fossils, observe the same animals, etc.). The difference lies in how we interpret what we study. The Bible—the “history book of the universe”—provides a reliable, eye-witness account of the beginning of all things, and can be trusted to tell the truth in all areas it touches on. Therefore, we are able to use it to help us make sense of this present world. When properly understood, the “evidence” confirms the biblical account.


Smiley: um
#7 Aug 19 2011 at 9:09 AM Rating: Decent
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Belkira the Tulip wrote:
www.answersingenesis.org wrote:
The Bible—the “history book of the universe”—provides a reliable, eye-witness account of the beginning of all things, and can be trusted to tell the truth in all areas it touches on.


Smiley: um


What! How can one be the least bit rational and believe anything like this drivel. The world is a sad place.
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MNK: "OK we're gonna go in and get those items."
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MNK: "Plan? I was going to walk through the front door and start punching people."
#8 Aug 19 2011 at 10:07 AM Rating: Good
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Peimei wrote:
Belkira the Tulip wrote:
www.answersingenesis.org wrote:
The Bible—the “history book of the universe”—provides a reliable, eye-witness account of the beginning of all things, and can be trusted to tell the truth in all areas it touches on.


Smiley: um


What! How can one be the least bit rational and believe anything like this drivel. The world is a sad place.



Those with blind faith are rarely rational.
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#9 Aug 19 2011 at 10:38 AM Rating: Good
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I'm sorry, "eye witness" to Genesis? Who interviewed God? Or Adam and Eve, for that matter?
#10 Aug 19 2011 at 10:38 AM Rating: Excellent
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Larry King.
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#11 Aug 19 2011 at 10:43 AM Rating: Excellent
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AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
I'm sorry, "eye witness" to Genesis? Who interviewed God? Or Adam and Eve, for that matter?

God witnessed it and then had Moses write it all down later. Duh.


Yes, that is probably their real answer.
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#12 Aug 19 2011 at 11:37 AM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
I'm sorry, "eye witness" to Genesis? Who interviewed God? Or Adam and Eve, for that matter?

God witnessed it and then had Moses write it all down later. Duh.


Sorry I need 2 independent eyewitnesses before I can run a story.

And no God, sorry, but I'm not buying that "I'm really 3 people" thing again.
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#13 Aug 19 2011 at 4:27 PM Rating: Excellent
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Elinda wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
I'm guessing a petting zoo is going to be involved.

...and a Tower of Babel.


That looks suspiciously like a ziggurat (wtf is with firefox spellchecker. Heck. Both "firefox" and "spellchecker" are redlined too! Crap. So is "redlined". How do I get off this ride!?).


I see a minor flaw with their theme park design right at the front gate. So visitors enter into the "walled city", which is supposed to represent the city and life as they were during Noah's time. Ok. And they're putting in restaurants, and it's kinda the central starting point for the whole theme park. But... Wait a minute! Isn't this the civilization that God destroyed cause it was evil? So... Do they make the starting point horrible? Do they have like prostitutes and devil worship and snakes crawling around or something? Cause that seems like it would be bad for business. And if you're trying to get people to eat at the restaurants and shop at the shops, aren't you really sending a sort of mixed message?

If they make it a nice place to hang out, eat, shop, etc, then God is a right **** for killing all those folks just trying to make a living. If they make it horrible, then who the hell's going to want to walk through the front door? I suppose they could make it very "adult", which might just attract a completely different set of customers. Hmmm... I see a spin off here. Maybe add a Sodom and Gomorrah section too? I mean, they're adding in a Jewish village where Jesus might have taught, so why not?


Ok. Maybe I do see potential here! Where's my checkbook?
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#14 Aug 19 2011 at 4:42 PM Rating: Excellent
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God felt so threatened that he destroyed the site and splintered languages over a building smaller than a parking garage?

gbaji wrote:
That looks suspiciously like a ziggurat

It reminds me of the actual temple part of the Lost Temple of Cazic-Thule.

Edited, Aug 19th 2011 5:44pm by Jophiel
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#15 Aug 19 2011 at 4:48 PM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
gbaji wrote:
That looks suspiciously like a ziggurat

It reminds me of the actual temple part of the Lost Temple of Cazic-Thule.

I thought Warcraft.
/nerd Smiley: frown

Edited, Aug 19th 2011 6:48pm by LockeColeMA
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#16 Aug 19 2011 at 4:49 PM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
gbaji wrote:
That looks suspiciously like a ziggurat

It reminds me of the actual temple part of the Lost Temple of Cazic-Thule.


Dude! Get out of here. We're camping 4c!
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#17 Aug 19 2011 at 5:01 PM Rating: Excellent
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LockeColeMA wrote:
/nerd Smiley: frown

n00b kid
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#18 Aug 19 2011 at 5:05 PM Rating: Excellent
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I heard at the end of the day, they're going to lock the gates and drown all but one family. Probably determined by raffle.
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#19 Aug 20 2011 at 8:15 PM Rating: Excellent
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Well they better not float, cause they'd obviously be witches. And you know how that ends up.
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#20 Aug 20 2011 at 9:42 PM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
I'm guessing a petting zoo is going to be involved.


Catholic priest land?
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#21 Aug 22 2011 at 6:17 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
That picture looks like the least fun theme park on earth.


God may hear you and flood the world and then this may be the ONLY theme park left
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#22 Aug 23 2011 at 12:12 AM Rating: Excellent
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If anyone is looking for a job, I hear they are hireing Ark welders!
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#23 Aug 23 2011 at 5:17 PM Rating: Excellent
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Smiley: laugh

I can just see a bunch of people showing up to apply to work there, in costume. Park supervisor looks them over and seems confused. He asks what they're wearing. They tell him "These are the same costumes we wore in Lord of the Rings". Supervisor sighs. "It's Ark Land. Ark!"
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#24 Aug 23 2011 at 5:32 PM Rating: Good
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gbaji wrote:
Smiley: laugh

I can just see a bunch of people showing up to apply to work there, in costume. Park supervisor looks them over and seems confused. He asks what they're wearing. They tell him "These are the same costumes we wore in Lord of the Rings". Supervisor sighs. "It's Ark Land. Ark!"


I don't get it... Smiley: frown
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#25 Aug 23 2011 at 5:34 PM Rating: Good
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Smiley: banghead
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#26 Aug 23 2011 at 7:28 PM Rating: Good
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I thought of what in Lord of the Rings could be mistaken to sound like Ark, but when pronounced out to a bunch of people that "No, I said 'ARK'." would be like "OH!!! Now we feel dumb for coming here dressed like Elves and Hobbitses" and couldn't remember anything from the books that would fit.
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#27 Aug 23 2011 at 7:50 PM Rating: Excellent
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it was probably an orccadental mispronunciation. Orcasionally those happen. often accompianied by an Orchestra.

Orc!!!!!!!
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#28 Aug 23 2011 at 7:52 PM Rating: Excellent
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Kaolian wrote:
GUESS WHO THIS ONE IS FOR!
This one was waiting for you.
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#29 Aug 23 2011 at 8:10 PM Rating: Good
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It's possible a Bostonian accept may have helped with the confusion.
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#30 Aug 24 2011 at 12:14 AM Rating: Excellent
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Do I get an "Orcthanc you" for the assist there though?
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#31 Aug 24 2011 at 4:21 AM Rating: Good
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Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
Do I get an "Orcthanc you" for the assist there though?
I'm slow this morning, because even with your orc puns, I never got it until I just read gbaji's Boston accent comment.
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#32 Aug 24 2011 at 6:30 AM Rating: Good
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I didn't get the Orc-Ark pun til Koa pointed it out either. I'm from the midwest where an O is an O is an O.

I'm having flashbacks of getting swarmed by humanoid lizards while trying to climb temple walls though.

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#33 Aug 24 2011 at 7:41 AM Rating: Good
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I spent some time looking it up. And with gbaji's "Bostonian accent"... I imagined Norm from New Yankee Workshop saying Ark Land.

It's not Ark/Orc.

It's Auckland (Ark Land). Apparently Auckland, New Zealand is where the Lord of the Rings movies were filmed.
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#34 Aug 24 2011 at 8:38 AM Rating: Excellent
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TirithRR the Eccentric wrote:
I spent some time looking it up. And with gbaji's "Bostonian accent"... I imagined Norm from New Yankee Workshop saying Ark Land.

It's not Ark/Orc.

It's Auckland (Ark Land). Apparently Auckland, New Zealand is where the Lord of the Rings movies were filmed.


Orc Land still sounds like way more fun than Ark Land. Mines of Moria Rollercoaster. Isengard Tower Drop, Eagle Gondolas, Tree-ent ziplines and playground, The Prancing Pony Restaurant,.... no end to the fun that could be had.
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#35 Aug 24 2011 at 8:51 AM Rating: Excellent
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Elinda wrote:
no end too the fun that could be had.
At least until the Nazgûl show up.
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#36 Aug 24 2011 at 2:17 PM Rating: Good
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Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
Do I get an "Orcthanc you" for the assist there though?


Sure. Orcthanc you!

People really didn't get the joke right off the bat? Smiley: disappointed
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#37 Aug 24 2011 at 2:37 PM Rating: Excellent
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wow... hard to believe any state would subsidize such an idiotic thing
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#38 Aug 24 2011 at 3:30 PM Rating: Excellent
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Olorinus wrote:
wow... hard to believe any state would subsidize such an idiotic thing


Joking about the park itself aside, it's not too much more idiotic than a **** of a lot of other things states subsidize. Want to bet that state money is involved in things like the "worlds largest ball of twine" and whatnot?

Also, the subsidy in this case is simply a lower property tax rate. On property that is currently unused/undeveloped and thus generating *zero* taxes. So the state isn't actually spending money at all. It's gaining revenue. And that's presumably aside from whatever other tax revenue the park itself brings in.

I'm still thinking that OrcLand would be a much much cooler park too!
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#39 Aug 24 2011 at 3:36 PM Rating: Good
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gbaji wrote:
Olorinus wrote:
wow... hard to believe any state would subsidize such an idiotic thing


Joking about the park itself aside, it's not too much more idiotic than a **** of a lot of other things states subsidize. Want to bet that state money is involved in things like the "worlds largest ball of twine" and whatnot?

Also, the subsidy in this case is simply a lower property tax rate. On property that is currently unused/undeveloped and thus generating *zero* taxes. So the state isn't actually spending money at all. It's gaining revenue. And that's presumably aside from whatever other tax revenue the park itself brings in.

I'm still thinking that OrcLand would be a much much cooler park too!
Agreed, on all accounts. Something like this, as stupid as it may sound, could create lots of jobs (albeit, mostly crappy paying jobs).
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#40 Aug 24 2011 at 4:03 PM Rating: Good
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Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
gbaji wrote:
Olorinus wrote:
wow... hard to believe any state would subsidize such an idiotic thing


Joking about the park itself aside, it's not too much more idiotic than a **** of a lot of other things states subsidize. Want to bet that state money is involved in things like the "worlds largest ball of twine" and whatnot?

Also, the subsidy in this case is simply a lower property tax rate. On property that is currently unused/undeveloped and thus generating *zero* taxes. So the state isn't actually spending money at all. It's gaining revenue. And that's presumably aside from whatever other tax revenue the park itself brings in.

I'm still thinking that OrcLand would be a much much cooler park too!
Agreed, on all accounts. Something like this, as stupid as it may sound, could create lots of jobs (albeit, mostly crappy paying jobs).


I'm imagining something like Ned Flanders' game night with the kids... biblical board games.
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#41 Aug 24 2011 at 4:37 PM Rating: Good
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An Orc is an Orc, of course, of course, and no one can talk to an Orc, of course..bah, nvm, doesn't seem as funny now that the Guinness has worn off.
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#42 Aug 24 2011 at 5:46 PM Rating: Good
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I though this thread was about Arc the Lad.
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#43 Aug 26 2011 at 10:13 AM Rating: Decent
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#44 Aug 26 2011 at 8:12 PM Rating: Good
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Ken Ham is a disingenuous piece if shit. That's all I wanted to say.
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#45 Aug 28 2011 at 12:02 PM Rating: Excellent
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gbaji wrote:
So... Do they make the starting point horrible? Do they have like prostitutes and devil worship and snakes crawling around or something? Cause that seems like it would be bad for business. And if you're trying to get people to eat at the restaurants and shop at the shops, aren't you really sending a sort of mixed message?


Do you have to go through the lepers to get to the deep-fried Snickers bars? Cause the people who go to this particular theme park totally would.

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