idiggory, King of Bards wrote:
Fortunately, not bad. It was just a massive inconvenience. Took forty minutes before I was finally able to get on the road, and spilled my coffee everywhere when it happened. Terrible headache from stress and caffeine withdrawals by the time I actually arrived at the office. Was only 20 minutes late though, because traffic was lighter by the time I hit the worst parts.
Woah! Rear-ended? I've got a doctor I want you to go to, and he will send you to a physical therapist. You don't have to stay for the therapy, but you have to stop by and sign in three times a week. You will also need to wear a soft cervical collar for the deposition and use a cane. I'll get you 5 to 6 k for your troubles, just sign right here on the dotted line.
I'm sure you've seen my commercials on television - Torts-R-Us? That's right, my partners and I have 257 years of trial experience between us. Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe. (all figures presented are approximations and should not be taken as accurate reflections of the truth)
You heard of the McDonald's case? No, that wasn't ours, we had the Tony's Bar-b-cue Chicken case - our client suffered severe third degree stains on her clothing due to the negligence of Tony in failing to properly secure his barbecued chicken in a proper size napkin, and in failing to post proper warnings. We settled that one out of court and I am constrained by the terms of the settlement to not disclose the amount. Suffice to say, my client was very satisfied. (certain "facts" have been embellished in order to fit the story within the constraints of this medium)
It sounds like you weren't hurt, so that's good. It's still a pain having to get the car repaired and do the insurance company thing. Make sure you report it to your insurance company if you haven't already done so. Even if the other guy offers to repair and not report the accident, make sure you always report it. I've seen a lot of people get hurt by that when the other guy then later decides to change his mind.
Solicitations malefactors! I am endeavoring to misappropriate the formulary for the preparation of affordable comestibles
Write it in English, not in Pentagonese. It's not a launcher, rifle cartridge, 7.62mm; it's a rifle. Call it a compass, not a direction-finding module. And if someone insists on being called AdcomphibsPac, the Fact File should explain to those not gifted in garblespeak that he's talking about the administrative office of the communication services for amphibious forces in the Pacific.
— Preface to The United States Department of Defense Fact File