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Lamest/dumbest omfg kill me, macros.Follow

#1 Jun 06 2005 at 4:06 PM Rating: Decent
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I thought this would make a rather humerous thread where people can laugh a bit rather then be-littleing one another on any opurtunity we see. So here it is!

I want to hear the dumbest, most humerous, stupidest, besttest, wackiest macros that you guys have heard! Please do not mention the names of those who used the macros... i don't care about the creator i care about the content! Here are a couple i had to put up with recently:

"The power of the christ compells you! Convert!" (guess he was religeous) =/

"This one is for the great kingdom of s'an d'oria! Fast Blade!!!!!" (dunes lol)

"Ouch! That definitly needs some lub sweety. WaterII" (kinda sexual but i lol'd)

And here is one of my own macros, which i will get trademarked because Migrey STOLE it from me!

"This is my slug shot macro" Then i slug away.

But off-course... Migrey just <3 it too much and had to make a "This is my cure one macro" -.-

The origin of the macro is Tharo's brain!!! to not steal it dam you!!!

kk i'm done. Post away :)






Edited, Mon Jun 6 17:08:23 2005 by valtharo
#2 Jun 06 2005 at 4:16 PM Rating: Decent
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I'm pretty sure you all heard that little tarutaru red mage with his macro'd auto-attack shouting "For bastok! for the republic!" x.x he creeped me out on numerous occasions.. not bad though. i dont know if he play anymore.


I also like the "gird your loins!" puller macro.
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#3 Jun 06 2005 at 4:37 PM Rating: Good
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When I play blm people laugh when they see my blizzard macro.

/p This will get your nipples hard! Blizzard on <bt>!
/wait 1
/ma "Blizzard" <bt>
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#4 Jun 06 2005 at 4:38 PM Rating: Decent
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I can't stand people who spam those kinds of macros.. So that's all you see.. Their macro over and over.
But a macro that sticks out in my head, was from a whm who would spam cure through macro and say "Hey <t> take another hit of this Sh*t"
And other macros simiilar to it. Partied with her quite a few times, the macro just got old after awhile. >.<
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#5 Jun 06 2005 at 4:59 PM Rating: Good
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you asked for it...


/p I call forth, the divine powers of Alanta <call0>
/wait 1
/em begins to lift the rock from the ground with his power.
/wait 1
/p YESSSSSSSSSSS I FEEL THE BOOOST OF POWAR!<call1>
/wait 1

alt+2
/shout CAN YOU FEEL IT VANADEIL? THIS IS TRUE POWER!
/wait 1
/p GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH<Call2>
/wait 1
/p <Call17>Current power stats:
/wait 1

alt+3
/em power bar [|||||| ] 30%
/wait 1
/em power bar [||||||||||||||||| ] 65%
/wait 1
/em power bar [||||||||||||||||||||||| ] 100%
/wait 1

alt+4
/p NOW GATHER AROUND MY BROTHERANS
/wait1
/p HERE I GO
/wait
/p BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSTUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU<Call3>
/wait 1
/ja "Boost" <me>

Alt+5
/p MY NEXT ATTACK WILL NOW DO MORE DMG<Call1>
/wait 1
/em power begins to fade
/wait 1
/em power bar [|||||||||||||||||| ] 75%
/wait 1
/em power bar [|||||||||]40%
/wait 1
/em power bar []0%

alt+6
/p I tried my best, tell me..
/wait 1
/p will i dream <Call10>
/wait 10
/p BOOST MACRO READY
/wait 1
/echo BOOST MACRO READY


G-primes boost macro...gamefaqs
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#6 Jun 06 2005 at 5:56 PM Rating: Good
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best....macro....ever

/p Boost! <call1>
/ja Boost
/wait 10
then just repeat it every 10 seconds over the course of a 3 hour exp session....you get the picture.
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#7 Jun 06 2005 at 6:09 PM Rating: Decent
My Fast Blade macro:

/p <Insert lame weaponskill macro line here> ... {Fast Blade}!!
/ws "Fast Blade" <t>
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#8 Jun 06 2005 at 7:06 PM Rating: Default
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/p {Fishing} <t> <annoyingsound4>


I saw a bard who used song lyrics that expressed the actions her songs did. That was very cool.

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#9 Jun 06 2005 at 7:25 PM Rating: Default
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The problem with Macros that are supposed to be 'cool" is that they are repeated over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

That being said I love to see just neato little 2 hour macros. My Bard 2hour was "Now this is what I call a Juke Box Hero! Soul Voice!". Or my RNG/WAR Provoke Macro in the dunes "Come on pull it together guys. The Ranger just Provoked!"

Now one of the well dumbest macros I ever had was Tachi: Jinpu which is an awesome wind based WS. I went with "An Evil Wind is blowing! Tachi: Jinpu"

Basically all my /ja abiitys are /echo anymore, and my WS are all just "Here I Go! <name>!"

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#10 Jun 06 2005 at 8:03 PM Rating: Decent
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"I choose you Carbuncle!"
#11 Jun 06 2005 at 9:23 PM Rating: Decent
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Uhh... my old fire1 macro was "BURN **** BURN!!! {Fire}"... then I used it many many months later in a promy party full of rank 10's and changed it very quickly... to nothing.
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#12 Jun 06 2005 at 9:54 PM Rating: Decent
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How about this...

/p {Provoke} >> <bt>
/wait 1
/p {Provoke} 30s
/wait 29
/p {Provoke} {Ready!}
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#13 Jun 06 2005 at 9:57 PM Rating: Decent
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Quote:
"Ouch! That definitly needs some lub sweety. WaterII"


Hmm wasnt that a mithra blm? i remember back in the jungle with someone using those macros. I think almost all of her /ma spells had a sexual innuendo with it but i forgot the other ones -_-.
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#14 Jun 06 2005 at 10:30 PM Rating: Decent
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OrodrethEM wrote:
Quote:
"Ouch! That definitly needs some lub sweety. WaterII"


Hmm wasnt that a mithra blm? i remember back in the jungle with someone using those macros. I think almost all of her /ma spells had a sexual innuendo with it but i forgot the other ones -_-.


...

/p It's getting hot in here...so take off all your clothes...{Fire}
/wait 1
/ma "Fire II" <bt>

Something like that?
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#15 Jun 07 2005 at 12:40 AM Rating: Decent
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i can't believe nobody has mentioned it yet...

"HOMIE DON'T PLAY THAT!!! {Provoke} <t>"
#16 Jun 07 2005 at 11:17 AM Rating: Good
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/p provoke <t> "Your mama's so fat it takes TWO Black Mages to Warp her!"
#17 Jun 07 2005 at 11:23 AM Rating: Default
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Quote:
/p provoke <t> "Your mama's so fat it takes TWO Black Mages to Warp her!"


LOL

<3 this thread. Keep em comming, who knows i might give out a 10k reward to whoever makes me laugh the hardest.

/ja "Steal" Vaspinne
#18 Jun 07 2005 at 11:25 AM Rating: Default
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"This is my slug shot macro"

worst

macro

ever
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#19 Jun 07 2005 at 12:14 PM Rating: Decent
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OH I had the worste one, when I first started blinking as ranger.

/p Call me Blinky
/ma "Utsusemi: Ichi" <me>

or my pull macro

/p Bringing <t> Get the Table Set
/ra <t>

Long been removed from use forever, except for Pixi, she still makes me use them some times. Only macro I really have is for EES

/p CLICK CLICK BOOM <Eagle Eye Shot>
/ja "Eagle Eye Shot" <t>
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#20 Jun 07 2005 at 12:21 PM Rating: Good
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All the dumbest macros contain either <call> or <call1> (except for Escape). <call14> is your friend - it's a nice little ding that gets your attention without ripping your eardrums apart. Anyone I PT with who uses <call>/<call1> macros regularly gets asked nicely to change it, they normally do, otherwise /kick to save everyone from splitting headaches.

No names but:

I knew a PLD who had <call> in his voke macro...all the way past lvl 70 before he quit. I refused to ever party with him. I dunno how his static survived that long without significant hearing loss.

I PTd with a RNG who had <call1> in his pull macro. Refused to change it because he wanted to make sure the PT knew he was pulling. Happily we could all read so /kicked and got someone else without the auditory assault.
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#21 Jun 07 2005 at 12:25 PM Rating: Good
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well...lol

my Dismiss macro for {carbuncle} is..

/p Return forth to your place of orgin or the nearest convienent parallel dimension.{Carbuncle}
/pet "release" <me>
(that is a reference to the movie "ghostbusters"

My macro to summon Carbuncle is...

/p He who Controls the {Carbuncle}..Controls the Universe...
( a bizaar reference to a Movie called DUNE...the orginal quote was"he who Controls the Spice, Controls the Universe"
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#22 Jun 07 2005 at 12:34 PM Rating: Decent
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Quote:
I PTd with a RNG who had <call1> in his pull macro.


Think that's bad huh Fod?

I PT'd with a ranger in the jungle phase of lvling. He had:

/p Shooting at the <t> <call4>
/ra <t>

Every single time he used ranged attack, you where promted with a <call4> Now, <call4> is not exactly the most discrete <call> in the game, try it for yourself if you forgot what it sounds like =/

After putting up with it for 20 minutes we kindly asked him to remove all /p from his ranged attack macro and he did. Thank god because i don't like having to kick people.

Edited, Tue Jun 7 13:37:17 2005 by valtharo
#23 Jun 07 2005 at 12:37 PM Rating: Decent
/p High and Dry <t>, High and Dry ... {Stone III}!
/ma "Stone III" <t>


Friend of mine had this one:
/p Ever see a White Mage get a heart attack?
/ja "Convert" <me>
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#24 Jun 07 2005 at 12:51 PM Rating: Decent
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hmm once a DRG asked me if this was a good macro for Wheeling Thrust:

/p "The wheels on the lance go round and round."


inwardly, i cringed. I actually felt embarassed FOR him.

then again, my old "/p Double yer pleasure with Double Thrust!" was kind of cringe-inducing.

still <3 my old One-Inch Punch macro.

/p This one's for Bruce!!


randompartymember>> Huh? Who's Bruce?
Matic>> /sigh
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#25 Jun 07 2005 at 12:52 PM Rating: Decent
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I've not gotten any complaints about my pull macro:

/p <t> sighted. Readying bow to pull <call20>.
/wait 5
/p WAAAAAA! I've got a <t> on the lineeeee!

<call20> is discreet little *dink* of a noise.
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#26 Jun 07 2005 at 2:08 PM Rating: Decent
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I can hear <call1> with the sound muted. x_x;
#27 Jun 07 2005 at 2:11 PM Rating: Decent
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"My milkshake brings all the <t> the camp"
#28 Jun 07 2005 at 2:37 PM Rating: Decent
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Pull macro - "This <t> followed me home! Can we keep it?"

Oh and who can forget Zlggomatic's flee macro

*disclaimer - this is not meant to be a racist statement. It is apparently a quote from a movie but Ziggy won't tell me which one -.- If you take offense to this, here's a quarter, buy a sense of humour*

Ok...Flee macro - "Run niggah! It's the Po-po-police!"

Oh...and Shindra's Sneak Attack macro is...

"Stabby-stabby! {Sneak Attack}"

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#29 Jun 07 2005 at 2:45 PM Rating: Decent
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redyoshi wrote:
"My milkshake brings all the <t> the camp"



Oh god, I felt like rating you down...





my flee macro is "These American drugs are living up to my expectations!"

... quote from Shaolin Soccer.. Most people don't get it, and think i'm on drugs.
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#30 Jun 07 2005 at 3:28 PM Rating: Decent
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I've set all of my NIN macros to be lyrics from "Ninja Rap" by Vanilla Ice from the second Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. I made them only for sake of I only ever exp NIN with close friends and we make macros to **** each other off on purpose, it's become sort of a competition. We cram as many annoying calls in as possible :D

example:

/ma "Tonko: Ichi" <me>
/p Gonna rock the town without bein' seen <Invisible (Spell)> <call1>

or

/ma "Utsusemi: Ichi" <me>
/p GO NINJA GO NINJA GO!; GO NINJA GO NINJA GO! <Blink> <call5>

Although I like my MNK Boost macro:

/ja "Boost" <me>
/wait 15
/p ZEE JUICE IS LOOSE! <Boost><Ready!> <call3>
#31 Jun 07 2005 at 3:37 PM Rating: Good
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On the lighter side, I get a good laugh at Aluciont's Invincible macro:

: : : He-Man : : :

What made it really funny was when we were fighting Seiryu one time - it went something like this:

Seiryu uses Hundred-Fists!
Aluciont uses Invincible.
<Aluciont> : : : He-Man : : :
Seiryu uses Dispelling Wind.
Alucionts Invincible effect was dispelled.
smack
pound
pound
slap
smack
pound
slap
Aluciont was defeated by Seiryu.
<Everyone in the LS> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! giggle laugh...
Fodder points at Aluciont.

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#32 Jun 07 2005 at 3:42 PM Rating: Good
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Personally I think I have the best pull macro. But you have to PT with me to find out what it is Smiley: laugh
#33 Jun 07 2005 at 4:22 PM Rating: Decent
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I always feel kinda stupid using my macro set over at my friends house because of my <Provoke> macro.

/p I'm the Master Baiter! <Provoke> <t> <tp> <tpp>

When im playing at home its a little more subtle

/p I've got your nose! <Provoke> <t> <tp> <tpp>
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#34 Jun 07 2005 at 5:17 PM Rating: Decent
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Quote:
What made it really funny was when we were fighting Seiryu one time - it went something like this:

Seiryu uses Hundred-Fists!
Aluciont uses Invincible.
<Aluciont> : : : He-Man : : :
Seiryu uses Dispelling Wind.
Alucionts Invincible effect was dispelled.
smack
pound
pound
slap
smack
pound
slap
Aluciont was defeated by Seiryu.
<Everyone in the LS> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! giggle laugh...
Fodder points at Aluciont.


I lol'd, literaly. It's one thing to say "lol" as an expression that indicates you find something humerous. Its another to actualy laugh out loud. >.> Fodder just won 10k.... for w/e its worth to him xD

Edited, Tue Jun 7 18:19:59 2005 by valtharo
#35 Jun 07 2005 at 5:25 PM Rating: Default
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Quote:
"My milkshake brings all the <t> the camp"


Ugh I was the tank for that PT....I remeber that very well korriri....

/sigh
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#36leetestdragoon, Posted: Jun 07 2005 at 5:40 PM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) Also, you stole lol'd from Churchill, and thats a fact.
#37 Jun 07 2005 at 5:43 PM Rating: Decent
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Excuse me, but i could care less for making more friends on Valefor. Come immigration time i'm out. I have goals which are no longer in reach for me on Valefor, so i'm in pursuit of a 2nd chance, its a decision that i've made and i'm following through on it. do /dance in hapiness cause you're getting your wish.

That being said, stay the **** off my thread!

Edited, Tue Jun 7 18:48:47 2005 by valtharo
#38leetestdragoon, Posted: Jun 07 2005 at 5:49 PM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) Oh you're "leaving" eh? just like all those other times you "left"?
#39 Jun 07 2005 at 5:49 PM Rating: Default
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Quote:
By: valtharo

1000 posts
Score: Default [2.17]


wow

Edited, Tue Jun 7 18:50:06 2005 by HeianXIII
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#40 Jun 07 2005 at 6:41 PM Rating: Decent
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Well this thread was fun, until someone came in and ruined it. Thank you for making something fun turn sour! You must sleep well at night.
That being said, I wouldn't say much about churchill, not only is he a jerk, but the person now playing his character is a mob stealing, CFH jerk as well. You must keep -great- company.

And I "lol'd" too. Wonder how many people on the internet say "pwn"... Anyway, off the topic of trends and fashion....


"/p THIS.... is my BOOMSTICK!"
/ma "Enthunder" <me>"
Yeah, I know. RDM doesn't have much. Yay for that.
Convert isn't very fun, just a few laughs.
"Convert baby, yeah!..
...Please heal me!" - Austin Powers rip off
Mostly movie quotes:
"Shock me, shock me, shock me with that deviant behavior!
/ma "Thunder II" <t>"
"Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
/ma "Aero" <t>" - That one would be great for a Rng. >.>

Bazaar comments are great, too. I've gotten tons of people send me tells for my "Not the gumdrop button!!!" bazaar comment.
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#41 Jun 07 2005 at 6:42 PM Rating: Decent
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315 posts
Oh, and if you read Tharo's first post on this thread, his rating is:

By: valtharo

1000 posts
Score: Decent [3.45]

Just goes to show that even if you have a bad rep, at least some people can find something you do worth reading about.

So yeah. Wow.
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I will do this. Nothing in my life matters except this. No moment of my life exists except this moment. I am born in this moment, and if I fail, I will die in this moment.
-I'm just the girl all the boys want to dance with
...And you're just the boy who's had too many chances.-
#42leetestdragoon, Posted: Jun 07 2005 at 6:49 PM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) Its funny because you rated him up just to put that in your post. His original rating was 2.29 or whatever.
#43 Jun 07 2005 at 8:07 PM Rating: Decent
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I have some rather oscure references in mine

Berserk: 'My love for you is like a truck {Berserk}er'

Then I toss in a few Simpsons references for a couple LS mates

Super Jump: 'Up and at them! {Super Jump}'

Ancient Circle: 'The goggles... they do nothing!'
Since after all, AC is the most useful job ability. >.>

As for call, I have a call in my tp report and my WS macros and that's about it
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#44 Jun 07 2005 at 10:10 PM Rating: Good
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Oh God, I'm crying with laughter xD

Keep 'em coming guys!
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#45 Jun 07 2005 at 10:32 PM Rating: Good
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Ah, forgot this one, havent used this one in a loooong time.

/em throws a frozen banana in the back of <bt>'s head.
/wait 1
/range <bt> (boomerang)


Ugh, forgot this one for the mages.

/p {Help me out!}, being attacked by <bt> and can't cast ****
<call14>
/wait 1
/panic <bt>
/wait 30
/ma "Warp" <me> (lol, if they haven't pulled mob away from you by this time the **** activates)


Edited, Tue Jun 7 23:46:26 2005 by LyleVertigo
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#46 Jun 08 2005 at 1:10 AM Rating: Default
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Quote:
Oh, and if you read Tharo's first post on this thread, his rating is:

By: valtharo

1000 posts
Score: Decent [3.45]

Just goes to show that even if you have a bad rep, at least some people can find something you do worth reading about.

So yeah. Wow.



My point exactly this rating system is retarted. Like how in the **** did I get scholar status?
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#47 Jun 08 2005 at 1:40 AM Rating: Decent
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Haha, yeah.. The way it works is.. His rating on the first post is the 3.45. That means.. People rated him up on that particular post for that rating. And the one in your status is the average of them all. So if you posted one bad post.. Your score might be 1.17 (o.O) for that particular post, while on another good post, it might be 3.45.

As for scholar.. I think that's based on the number of posts.
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-I'm just the girl all the boys want to dance with
...And you're just the boy who's had too many chances.-
#48 Jun 08 2005 at 6:49 AM Rating: Decent
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Alexmourning wrote:
Haha, yeah.. The way it works is.. His rating on the first post is the 3.45. That means.. People rated him up on that particular post for that rating. And the one in your status is the average of them all. So if you posted one bad post.. Your score might be 1.17 (o.O) for that particular post, while on another good post, it might be 3.45.

As for scholar.. I think that's based on the number of posts.


It's based on rate ups.
I used to have scholar, until someone rated me down.... heh.

My pull macro....

"The Opo-opos attack! [Pulling <t>]"
Anyone who popped Cathi and Tipha for ZM5 in Yuhtunga Jungle knows what I mean..
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lolffxi
#49 Jun 08 2005 at 8:22 AM Rating: Good
Scholar
*
103 posts
/p OMFG <t> aggro!!!11!!
/ra <t>

though I stole that^^

waaaaaay back in the day I PTed with a SAM who had a macro like

/p What is this, yoga class? {Meditate}
/ja Meditate <me>

which made me chuckle^^

In closing, if you use call1 in any macro, please stop;_; As blist-happy as I am, even I don't like blisting PT members, but call1 in TP macro or (god forbid) pulling macro is way over the line, and if a reasonable request won't do the trick, they've gotta go...

PS: Fodder didn't even mention that Aluc's Invincible macro is actually a 3-line beast where he "has the power" and all the other good He-Man quotes, making it even funnier in practice when he drops dead 0.4 seconds after using it.
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benny
{Too weak}{Black Mage}
valefor server
Ultima linkshell
#50 Jun 10 2005 at 10:09 AM Rating: Default
26 posts
I used to love my old voke macro... now I understand just how annoying it must have been to everyone in the dunes...

/em yells something in <t>ese about the <t>'s momma.
/ja Provoke <t>
/wait 15
/p {Provoke}{Ready!} in 15
/wait 15
/p {Provoke}{Ready!}

It made for some fun though seeing the emote about yelling things in Hill Lizardese and Goblin Tinkerese and Beach Pugilese, etc.

Most people made jokes about me being multilingual...
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Daius of Valefor of the Revolution Finale LS

WHM 54, BLM 30, RDM 34, THF 20, WAR 27, MNK 20, PLD 24, DRK 56, BRD 10, BST 6, DRG 25, NIN 10, RNG 10, SMN 10, SAM 20
#51 Jun 14 2005 at 7:15 PM Rating: Decent
*
69 posts
I like my macros for summoner... See, I like to roleplay so I use sayings in my macros that I make up corresponding to the spell (not just summoner) or I use old FFs ones.

Summoning Carby:
(there are no /[insert chat mode here] because I only use these when I set the chat mode myself to Party)

Hope.. Courage.. Love..
/wait 1
One cannotaru live in a world of darkness without these~
/wait 1
SHINE THROUGH! I summon thee.... ~{Carbuncle}~

Summoning Ifrit:
The firey flames of Altana's fury run deep....
/wait 1
Crimson Red Anger... Flame of Rancor... It is time~
/wait 1
BURN UP! I summon you! ~{Ifrit}~
(I kifed that last line from FF:Unlimited, an FF anime, if you replace Ifrit with Phoenix.. then yea.. lol)

Summoning Ramuh:
I shall pass judgment on you now.. scum of Vana'diel..
/wait 1
Lord of creation.. heed my call... Lightning's encarnate~
/wait 1
RAIN DOWN! I summon you.. ~{Ramuh}~

And then I also have my RDM old macros.. i think they are still there anyway.. lol

Cure1:
Gaia's life giving breeze! Cure!
(OOOLLLLDDD.. way back when i got cure lol)

Cure2:
Sylph, your power is needed... Let your winds whisper <t>'s pain away... Cura!

Yes I do use the old FF terms because I don't like "Cure II" and "Cure III".. they sound really uber dumb..

Cure3:
Fairy, heed my call and remove <t>'s pain.. Curaga!

and misc. others lol but ive said alot already. (I also had some Al Bhed ones... no not quotes actual Al Bhed language using chat lines that i made..)
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RAUR! Level 60 RDM/BLM Level 41 SMN/WHM level 39 DRG/WAR Level 26 WHM/BLM Level 32 BLM/WHM Level 20 BLU

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