The Results.Follow

Well, as many of you probably know, I've been flooding the forums it seems with my "relationship help" problem. I do apologize for this, but I thank you guys for not flaming me as the forums helps me relax. Today, I asked her.

I will tell you the events that occured, and then what my friend (who is a freaking pimp) said I should do, and see if you guys agree.

I showed up at the class before her, as I always do. When she came in, I said hey and started up a small bit of conversation. When an akward silence moment hit, I asked her if she was busy and if she wasn't if she'd like to do something with me over the course of fall break. Unfortunately for me (but fortunately for her) she was going home for the break (I'm in college, btw). I then asked if she would like to go the next week, in which she responded with "maybe". I thought that that was a for sure "no", until I realized how increasingly friendly she was throughout the class. My friend, who overheard the entire thing, said that really was a "maybe." The answer she will give me next depends on what I do.

Before I go into my next "plan of action" I'll have to say this: Asking a girl out is not as hard as it seems. Saying the first line was indeed hard, but the rest was easy. One thing I noticed is that eye contact is key. For some reason, staring into their eyes defeats every sense of nervousness that you may have. It did for me anyway.

Now, my friend has gave me the following advice, and I am probably going to follow it. Was just curious on your input. He says that I should basically give her space, and not let her think that I'm clingy and stuff. He says that I should be talking to another girl when she sees me on Tuesday (we won't have class this week) and that I should simply nod her way when she inevitably looks at me. This will establish a feeling of jealousy/unsurness, and she won't know for sure if I'm 100% affected by her. I then need to proceed the remainder of the day keeping conversation to very basic things, not too deep, not too envolved. I also need to be very willing to talk to others right in front of her, and not show clinginess while not fully ignoring her. On Thursday, I'll need to repeat the same process, except towards the end of the class, ask her about the date again. If I play my cards right, she'll start to realize that it's a rare privilage that I have asked her out of all the other females to go on a date with me, and she'll say yes.

So basically, I need to make myself seem like I don't hate her, while also seeming like I could be interested in other girls. The feeling of uneasiness she gets put into will make her see me as a hard-to-obtain person, making me more valuable to her.

The thing I have realized about this relationship business is that it is all one big mind game. If you appear too clingy, they don't want you. If you act like you don't like them in the slightest, they don't want you.

In keeping to my Rubik's Cube analogy, I have started to solve the first corner. I just need to continue to play my cards right, and with a little time and luck, I'll win her over.

Do I have the correct mindset on this?

Even if she says no after asking her again, ending any chance of a relationship, it still won't be that bad. I have conquered my fear of asking out women, I do believe. This one move has gave me great confidence in myself. So, thanks.

Well, I didn't want to completey ignore her. I just didn't want to press too hard to where she thinks I'm super clingy ;_; I'll still talk to her and stuff.

Edited, Wed Oct 12 12:41:39 2005 by Shaolinz

Alright, thanks. The making people jealous thing isn't who I'd like to be anyway.

Chicks dig pirates.

If chicks dig pirates, then they must completely lose it over Ninjas. After all Ninjas > Pirates.

Hmm...Rubik's Cube? You mean that funny little tool that causes ppl like me with adult ADHD jump and dance around in cicles cursing the makers? That's cool you can do it (at all) without the remove the stickers remedy.

I find this post, and your previous, very interesting because it's such a strange place to try and figure out the most mysterious being on Earth...women. I can totally empathize with what you are going through, having gone through college as a Math Major *cough nerd* and seeing the search for the right woman a lost cause.

I think that your friend and the peeps on here have the right idea to make the whole idea of "impressing" the woman, but you have to remember a couple things:

1) Each woman is going to have a different expectation based on their experience and you're going to score more points by actively listening to her and suprise her with your attentiveness. The problem is getting that chance to "listen" to her. That's where you have to play the games mentioned below of catching her attention without seeming over-bearing.

2) Some women have the same hidden shyness of talking to guys because of their self-asteem or bad experiences (yes they have bad ones otherwise they'd still be with the guy). Some women see the jealousy approach as more of an obstacle than a challenge. If she feels like she would have to compete, there is that risk she would see it as "not worth the effort".

In my experience, my high-school girlfriend of 2 years complained that I wasn't making the effort only having called her 2 time in a years time. She made it seem like I wasn't paying enough attention to her...I'm not sure, I really wasn't listening.

Here is how I got my wife of 7 years (please, end of time, hurry up and come!):
Met her at a house party. I was playing foosball and trying to put the moves on her (didn't know it then) cousin, because she had nice...what's that thing you keep spices in?... Anyway, appearently she liked the competition and she was going around trying to get guys to buy her flowers for Valentines Day, sort of a joke in her mind. She gave me her dorm room # and I said yeah, but it really didn't go much beyond that (I wasn't really sober enough to know how to be "smooth").
The next day, I remembered part of the night, and remembered she was pretty good looking, so I actually bought 3 roses (not too much, not too little) and left them at the front desk of her dorm.

My point? I totally shocked her by doing what I did and that automatically made me that much more wanted. If anything, women talk and if this one doesn't work, others who hear it might be interested in a guy like that. I know her dorm friends knew me very well from day 1. Unfortunately for me, this one did work out.


That's good advice (except the both places thing...ouch), but also remember gals like the fact you've got money, even when you don't. For example, I dressed nice, and drove a nice car, but that's all I had. I still laugh when she thought she met a rich guy...ah haha.

Now, on a serious note, don't meet women. It leads to marriage...that leads to kids...that lead to 1 hour a night on FFXI and using your work time to post on forums because you can't do it at home because {naggy voice}"you spend more time with that damn game then you do with me."

Good luck, and DAMN THAT CUBE!