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Twilight-mania... what gives?Follow

#1 Nov 03 2009 at 10:15 PM Rating: Excellent
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Maybe I'm out of the loop, but having watched the first movie, I found it to be nothing more than a low budget teenage love story.

What's with all the fuss about it? Why am I seeing girls and ladies alike fall flat on the floor at the mere mention of "Edward from Twilight"? I had a look at him and while I can't claim to be a supermodel myself, he didn't exactly look like Prince Charming, if you know what I mean. And he's not exactly a great actor. What's so special about it all?

You'd think it was a new Harry Potter, but it's basically just a story about a vampire who falls in love with a mortal and vice versa. Wait, wait, where have I heard this before? Oh yeah, Underworld! Color me clueless, but isn't Twilight almost like Underworld, except the main characters are, like, 10 years younger, there's less fighting, less (good) special effects, less **** ladies and more zomgdrama?

Don't get me wrong, I found the movie to be a decent action/love flick, but I don't see why people are going crazy over it. It's like they took Buffy the Vampire Slayer, added a little One Tree Hill and turned it into a movie. We've all seen it before.

Am I sounding too biased? Maybe, I don't know. I'm just tired of hearing about Twilight these days. I went to a book store, looking for the sequel to City of Bones by Cassandra Clare (excellent trilogy, by the way, The Mortal Instruments), but I couldn't find any English literature. I found a guy who worked there and asked him where they kept their English books and he pointed me to a shelf filled with Twilight. I was like "Are you kidding me?"

Twilight-mania sucks. Smiley: frown

Edited, Nov 4th 2009 5:23am by Mazra
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#2 Nov 03 2009 at 10:30 PM Rating: Excellent
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#3 Nov 03 2009 at 11:19 PM Rating: Excellent
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I haven't read the books or seen the movie. Once I heard that the explanation for why vamps don't go out in daylight was that they SPARKLE I wouldn't have touched anything to do with the franchise with a 10-foot-pole. Sparkle? Seriously?

But anyway, supernatural romance/mystery is HUGE right now. Buffy kinda was at the leading edge of the trend, but I think it really Anita Blake that got the snowball effect going. Try going to a bookstore sometime. The scifi/fantasy section is filled with supernatural mystery series, the romance section has an increasing number of vampire romances, and these days the used bookstore has even started to separate the genre out into its own section rather than lump it in with horror or fantasy.

As far as I can tell, Twilight is an effort to cash in on the teeny-bopper niche market for this genre, since the adult series (such as Anita Blake) tend to be pretty gritty and not really fit for young readers.

Problem is, I don't really think vampire mythology can be sanitized all that well, hence the cheesy "sparkle" thing. Dracula was all about repressed Victorian sexuality and since then, vampires have pretty much been about *** and seduction (well, perhaps with the exception of the silent movie Nosferatu.)

But yeah, anyway. Twilight. I don't get it.
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#4 Nov 03 2009 at 11:19 PM Rating: Excellent
It's because every pre-teen, tween, & teen girl in America has read the books & wants to get hammered by Edward Cullen.

Why?

Because he sparkles.
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#5 Nov 04 2009 at 1:02 AM Rating: Excellent
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Twilight has several catches for the kiddos.

Vampires are made out to be just better than humans in every way. They're strong, fast, smart, immortal, they do it all. They snag the power fantasies of tweens. They're also dark, which is to say they're not socially acceptable, the world rejects them, which tweens can sympathize with. All of the main vamp dudes action which should normally be portrayed as excessively creepy and undesirable are portrayed as infinitely affectionate, romantic and loving. Watching a girl while she sleeps? Creepy, nah, just deep love. The female lead's complete dependence on the main vamp dude is portrayed not as a overtly sexist image, but one of loving devotion. Kids are tired of the way feelings are traditionally portrayed, and want something different. Twilight gives them something very different and slaps the label of love on it. It's so unique it must be better than the unoriginal love everyone else has.

or so I've heard...
#6 Nov 04 2009 at 1:36 AM Rating: Good
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I'd imagine it's much the same thing that caused a lot of us back when I was a stupid kid to get into the Anne Rice book craze.
#7 Nov 04 2009 at 6:36 AM Rating: Excellent
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Visual Review of the Twilight Movies:
Screenshot
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#8 Nov 04 2009 at 7:16 AM Rating: Good
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I'd imagine it's much the same thing that caused a lot of us back when I was a stupid kid to get into the Anne Rice book craze.


Nah, Lestat was just ******* cool & bad ***. Well, before Tales of the Body Thief. That book was ghey.

(Memnoch the Devil was cool, again, though)
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#9 Nov 04 2009 at 7:27 AM Rating: Excellent
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Omegavegeta wrote:
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I'd imagine it's much the same thing that caused a lot of us back when I was a stupid kid to get into the Anne Rice book craze.


Nah, Lestat was just @#%^ing cool & bad ***. Well, before Tales of the Body Thief. That book was ghey.

(Memnoch the Devil was cool, again, though)


Memnoch was a freaking awesome book.


Also, Allegory's explanation is pretty much exactly it. It taps into the tween/angsty teen market. I don't know why so many grown women like it, but I think it's something to do with it being light smut.

My biggest criticism of the books? They spend several CHAPTERS talking about how **** Edward is, going over all parts of him, all of their emotions, etc etc. Huge with drama, low on action, tons of description. Fast forward to book 4 when they finally have *** (spoiler, ********* and it's basically "And then the next day, the pillows were ripped." What the ****!? The characters only think about *** constantly for 3 books and then they gloss over what was apparently the best crazy Vamp *** ever?

The books themselves were only mediocre. I wanted to find out what happens in the story so I read them all... but more because I hate lose ends than having the story be all that interesting. It really is just vampire melodrama with a little bit of suspense and WAY too many teenage emos.
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#10 Nov 04 2009 at 7:41 AM Rating: Good
I read them (GF had 'em) & they sucked. Granted, I'm aware I'm not the target audience, but to build up an entire series to one pivotal fight & have them talk it out was just cruel.

But, I read this thing that got leaked online where the author of the Twilight series (Stephanie Myers) wrote the first book from Edward's perspective & it was actually pretty cool. The fact that he's telepathic is almost glossed over, as the books are from Bella's perspective. & he can't read her mind. His telepathy is pretty much always on, so while it was from his perspective it was also a pseudo-omniscient perspective as well.

But she got PMS over the fact it was leaked & like a little girl decided she wasn't going to do it anymore.

*****.

Her other book, The Host (GF also bought), wasn't horrible.
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#11 Nov 04 2009 at 8:16 AM Rating: Good
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Visual Review of the Twilight Movies:
Screenshot


awesome.

I've not seen or read any of the Twilight books.
I like most vampire, werewolf, zombie, and ghost movies.
I just can't see me watching this just to watch it.

There are a few in my family who are all crazed about the books/movie. I just don't get it.
But at the same time, I guess that is how others felt when i was all TMNT crazed as a child.
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#12 Nov 04 2009 at 9:37 AM Rating: Excellent
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It's true about the sparkles.

I was watching the movie (I carelessly stumbled across it at the video store, read the cover and figured it would be a decent vampire movie) when Edward says they don't go into the light, because it shows their true form. He takes that chick through the forest into the sunny patch and I was like "Hells yeah, we're gonna see black smoke, red eyes, membraned wings of awesome and fangs" and then he starts to sparkle. I think I lost a lot of respect for the movie there. So vampires don't go into the sun because it reveals their final form of... glitter? Ooh, scary.

As for Anne Rice, I enjoyed the Vampire movie and loved the Mummy novel. The latter wasn't exactly "teenage romance," though. Unless teenage romance involves a smoking hot resurrected Cleopatra to have *** with you and then snap your back like a twig afterwards. In which case Species, I imagine, would have quite an audience as well. Tongue action!

Thinking back, it's true that the Twilight story caters to a lot of young females. Even more so in the sequel where that native guy gets a haircut and turns out to be a wolfie, rawr. Vampires vs. Lycan-- woops, werewolves. Yeah, original.

Funny thing is, my sister has read the books and watched the movie and she's normally very, um, sane when it comes to judging pretty boys. I was discussing the movie with her and I told her how I didn't get the mania going on. The actor portraying Edward wasn't even that good-looking (I can say stuff like that without questioning my sexuality, by the way). She just dropped her jaw on the floor and told me he was such a "hunk" and dark and handsome. I was like, girl, look at his face. No, look at his face when it doesn't sparkle! Yeah, he's like 10% of the handsome seen in any teenage movie these days. Yes, he's tall and has that dark gothic /wrist thing going on, but seriously, he's not hot.

She couldn't follow me. It was then I realized that the mania had claimed yet another victim. A girl who will never again be normal until she nails that sparkly vampire guy who can't be with her but won't leave her alone.

Bleah.
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#13 Nov 04 2009 at 10:48 AM Rating: Excellent
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Perfect Mary Sue style character meets "sorta dangerous but not like rapist dangerous but, you know, safe-dangerous" bad boy, wins him over and has him protect her and then turns out that Mary Sue is really a super important person.

Why is there any question as to why this is popular?
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#14 Nov 04 2009 at 1:14 PM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
Why is there any question as to why this is popular?


Some of us still hold out hope for humanity?
#15 Nov 04 2009 at 6:29 PM Rating: Good
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This New Moon trailer looks promising. Smiley: dubious
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#16 Nov 04 2009 at 6:34 PM Rating: Excellent
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Only question is: Will the werewolf sparkle?
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#17 Nov 04 2009 at 8:37 PM Rating: Good
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The One and Only Poldaran wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
Why is there any question as to why this is popular?


Some of us still hold out hope for humanity?


Obviously, you haven't read My Immortal.
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#18 Nov 04 2009 at 9:43 PM Rating: Excellent
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I'd imagine it's much the same thing that caused a lot of us back when I was a stupid kid to get into the Anne Rice book craze.


Yeah, but Anne Rice can write.

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#19 Nov 04 2009 at 10:04 PM Rating: Excellent
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IDrownFish wrote:
The One and Only Poldaran wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
Why is there any question as to why this is popular?


Some of us still hold out hope for humanity?


Obviously, you haven't read My Immortal.


DEAR GOD!!

I think I popped a vein in my head somewhere. Seriously, I need medical attention. The darkness...

Ahaha, this is too good to be true. Seriously, it's 5:40am and I can't stop reading.

My Immortal wrote:
And then…………… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get an ******. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

“WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

It was…………………………………………………….Dumbledore!


Dumbledore is my man! Seriously, that line ought to be in the movies.

Edited, Nov 5th 2009 5:49am by Mazra
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#20 Nov 04 2009 at 10:43 PM Rating: Good
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Mazra wrote:
IDrownFish wrote:
The One and Only Poldaran wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
Why is there any question as to why this is popular?


Some of us still hold out hope for humanity?


Obviously, you haven't read My Immortal.


DEAR GOD!!

I think I popped a vein in my head somewhere. Seriously, I need medical attention. The darkness...


Wow...how have I lived so many years amongst Harry Potter fans and fic'cers without ever having caught a whiff of this phenomenon? It hurts, and yet...I...can't...stop....
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#21 Nov 04 2009 at 10:46 PM Rating: Excellent
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I know, it's like you want to look away, but you're afraid you'll miss something.

Quote:
“*******!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn’t have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco’s and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a **** English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so **** that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko.


Smiley: lol

This has to be a joke. A troll. It can't be serious.
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#22 Nov 04 2009 at 10:52 PM Rating: Good
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Omegavegeta wrote:


Nah, Lestat was just @#%^ing cool & bad ***. Well, before Tales of the Body Thief. That book was ghey.


It totally was. I think thats why it was my favorite.

Edited, Nov 4th 2009 11:05pm by Dyadem
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#23 Nov 04 2009 at 10:57 PM Rating: Excellent
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IDrownFish wrote:
The One and Only Poldaran wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
Why is there any question as to why this is popular?


Some of us still hold out hope for humanity?


Obviously, you haven't read My Immortal.


Thanks to you, my husband is now reading it and making unhappy faces between pulls in ToC.

If he starts reading it aloud to me... <.<
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#24 Nov 04 2009 at 11:07 PM Rating: Good
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Lady isyris wrote:
IDrownFish wrote:
The One and Only Poldaran wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
Why is there any question as to why this is popular?


Some of us still hold out hope for humanity?


Obviously, you haven't read My Immortal.


Thanks to you, my husband is now reading it and making unhappy faces between pulls in ToC.

If he starts reading it aloud to me... <.<


Just wait until he discovers the drinking game that goes along with it. :D
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#25 Nov 04 2009 at 11:31 PM Rating: Excellent
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IDrownFish wrote:
Lady isyris wrote:
IDrownFish wrote:
The One and Only Poldaran wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
Why is there any question as to why this is popular?


Some of us still hold out hope for humanity?


Obviously, you haven't read My Immortal.


Thanks to you, my husband is now reading it and making unhappy faces between pulls in ToC.

If he starts reading it aloud to me... <.<


Just wait until he discovers the drinking game that goes along with it. :D


He's crying now. I think it's too late.
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#26 Nov 05 2009 at 12:05 AM Rating: Excellent
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"My Immortal" has nothing on "Artemis's Lover." That fanfic was so bad, my husband printed out a copy and slapped a UN warning label on it saying it violated the Geneva convention.

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