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#1 Jul 29 2014 at 6:41 AM Rating: Good
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The TSA is giving out $15,000 for ideas that will speed up airport check-in.*

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Challenge Overview

TSA Pre✓™ is an expedited screening program that allows low-risk travelers to experience expedited, more efficient security screening. This queue line provides an expedited transit through airport security screening as TSA Pre✓™ passengers do not require the removal of shoes, 3-1-1 compliant liquids, jacket, belt, and may keep laptop in bag for screening.

TSA is looking for the Next Generation Checkpoint Queue Design Model to apply a scientific and simulation modeling approach to meet the dynamic security screening environment. The new queue design should include, but not be limited to the following queue lanes:
- TSA Pre✓™
- Standard
- Premier Passengers (1st class, business class, frequent fliers, etc.)
- Employee and Flight Crews
- PWD (wheelchair access)

The Challenge is to provide a simulation modeling concept that can form the basis to plan, develop requirements, and design a queue appropriately. The concept will be used to develop a model to be applied in decision analysis and to take in considerations of site specific requirements, peak and non-peak hours, flight schedules and TSA staffing schedules. Solvers are expected to provide the concept and provide evidence that it works as described in the requirements.



*If a winning idea is conceptualized in this thread, the threads author earns 10% of prize money.
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#2 Jul 29 2014 at 7:39 AM Rating: Excellent
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Open more than one line during the holidays.
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#3 Jul 29 2014 at 7:54 AM Rating: Good
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It'd go much faster if they could process people in large groups:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjy8Z1hK2wY&t=55s
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#4 Jul 29 2014 at 9:12 AM Rating: Excellent
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Do away with TSA and let the terrorists on the airplanes. Natural selection suggests any rise in the rate of hijackings or bombings would be short lived.
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#5 Jul 29 2014 at 9:46 AM Rating: Excellent
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someproteinguy wrote:
Do away with TSA and let the terrorists on the airplanes.

Put all the terrorists on a single airplane and the problem will become self-solving Smiley: schooled
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#6 Jul 29 2014 at 9:51 AM Rating: Excellent
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You've won a free trip to Malaysia! Smiley: yippee

Edited, Jul 29th 2014 8:51am by someproteinguy
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#7 Jul 29 2014 at 10:07 AM Rating: Excellent
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I wouldn't mind waiting in line with my shoes off if there were a little more transparency about how much they're actually accomplishing. I'm not asking for state secrets, but raw numbers would be nice.

For example, "We stopped 13 terrorists from boarding domestic flights since 2001." Okay, one per year, roughly. Were they all caught using current search/inspection techniques? How much is this inconvenience actually contributing to my safety, and how much is just theater?
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#8 Jul 29 2014 at 10:13 AM Rating: Good
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I don't know about at the counter, but if the TSA Pre✓™ service provided complementary hand jobs/oral by attractive trained professionals (for all genders) then people wouldn't mind being in line for so long.
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#9 Jul 29 2014 at 10:30 AM Rating: Excellent
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I don't want random people touching my junk, even if they are attractive. They probably have cooties, eww.

Maybe more of a bacon and beer thing.
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#10 Jul 29 2014 at 10:38 AM Rating: Good
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Can't you people be serious for one thread!

There are cash prizes on the line.

That said, I think complimentary slippers would ease the whole shoe removal thing. I dread bare feet on the airport floor.
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#11 Jul 29 2014 at 10:39 AM Rating: Good
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someproteinguy wrote:
I don't want random people touching my junk
One person's fear is another person's fantasy.
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#12 Jul 29 2014 at 10:48 AM Rating: Excellent
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Elinda wrote:
That said, I think complimentary slippers would ease the whole shoe removal thing. I dread bare feet on the airport floor.
As long as they aren't reused, because other people of course. Maybe something like those little boot cover thingies you have to wear around the hospital, with more fuzzy padding.

Elinda wrote:
someproteinguy wrote:
I don't want random people touching my junk
One person's fear is another person's fantasy.
Mmm hmm, and this falls in the same category as those latex horse suits. Nice for other people, not for someproteinguy.
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#13 Jul 29 2014 at 10:50 AM Rating: Good
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someproteinguy wrote:
Elinda wrote:
That said, I think complimentary slippers would ease the whole shoe removal thing. I dread bare feet on the airport floor.
As long as they aren't reused, because other people of course. Maybe something like those little boot cover thingies you have to wear around the hospital, with more fuzzy padding.

Elinda wrote:
someproteinguy wrote:
I don't want random people touching my junk
One person's fear is another person's fantasy.
Mmm hmm, and this falls in the same category as those latex horse suits. Nice for other people, not for someproteinguy.

Latex allergies?
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#14 Jul 29 2014 at 11:09 AM Rating: Good
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Stop all of the **** security theater stuff and go back to pre-2001 security which worked fine. Absolutely nothing that's changed since then has prevented another hijacking attempt.
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#15 Jul 29 2014 at 11:11 AM Rating: Excellent
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Elinda wrote:
Latex allergies?
You're never supposed to go behind a horse, or you're apt to get kicked in the head. Things taught at a young age are hard to ignore sometimes. Smiley: frown
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#16 Jul 29 2014 at 11:25 AM Rating: Good
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Get another line for first class and such to express though. I didn't pay extra to stand in line with the rest of the smelly scrubs.
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#17 Jul 29 2014 at 11:30 AM Rating: Decent
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Get another line for first class and such to express though. I didn't pay extra to stand in line with the rest of the smelly scrubs.

Fly charter. Jesus, people still fly 1st class? WHY? A charter doesn't cost that much more and there's essentially no security.
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Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a whore. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#18 Jul 29 2014 at 11:34 AM Rating: Excellent
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I enjoy the walk of shame parading past me to the coach section.
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#19 Jul 29 2014 at 1:36 PM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
I enjoy the walk of shame parading past me to the coach section.

Smiley: glare
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#20 Jul 29 2014 at 1:50 PM Rating: Good
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someproteinguy wrote:
this falls in the same category as those latex horse suits.
Is this something you guys were talking about on here somewhere, or is this just out of the blue? Because I'm afraid to search for "latex horse suit".
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#21 Jul 29 2014 at 2:00 PM Rating: Excellent
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The One and Only Poldaran wrote:
someproteinguy wrote:
this falls in the same category as those latex horse suits.
Is this something you guys were talking about on here somewhere, or is this just out of the blue? Because I'm afraid to search for "latex horse suit".
Same place as the whole hanging from meat hooks thing; BDT is good conversation.

I imagine Aethien still has the links if you're interested.

Edited, Jul 29th 2014 1:01pm by someproteinguy
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#22 Jul 29 2014 at 2:05 PM Rating: Good
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Latex Horse Suits.
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#23 Jul 29 2014 at 2:07 PM Rating: Excellent
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Obviously an unfair advantage in any swimming competition.
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#24 Jul 29 2014 at 2:28 PM Rating: Good
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I'm almost certain those are for water polo.
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#25 Jul 29 2014 at 3:09 PM Rating: Decent
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Mandatory open carry for all boarding and flights. Problem solved.
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#26 Jul 29 2014 at 3:33 PM Rating: Good
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It needs more chairs and tables to put yourself back together at the end. I always feel rushed once everything has finished clearing the X-ray machine and I'm trying to simultaneously get my shoes on and repack my laptop.

A "family lane" for parents and children. Nothing more scary for a kid than mom and dad getting pulled into separate lines for some reason (I've seen it happen.) Nothing more irritating for people standing in line behind a parent struggling to control an unruly child.

They need someone standing in the airport lobby hawking the TSA Pre-Check like it was a credit card. I always forget it's a thing until I actually get to the airport, then I go doh because I might actually qualify for the **** thing and the fee isn't so horrible spread across a lifetime of airport check-ins.

Edited, Jul 29th 2014 5:33pm by Catwho
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#27 Jul 29 2014 at 3:38 PM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
Get another line for first class and such to express though. I didn't pay extra to stand in line with the rest of the smelly scrubs.
every airport I've been to in the past year has had this.
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Aethien you take more terrible pictures than a Japanese tourist.
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One day, Maz, you'll learn not to click on anything Aeth links.
#28 Jul 29 2014 at 8:28 PM Rating: Excellent
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lolgaxe wrote:

My first thought on seeing this was "Spiderman, Captain America and Batman, equine edition."
#29 Jul 29 2014 at 11:24 PM Rating: Good
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someproteinguy wrote:
[BDT
Somehow, I feel like I should have known.
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Wow, you've got an awesome writing style.! I really dig the narrator's back story, humor, sarcasm, and the plethora of pop culture references. Altogether a refreshingly different RotR journal (not that I don't like the more traditional ones, mind you).

#30 Jul 30 2014 at 6:01 AM Rating: Good
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Debalic wrote:
Mandatory open carry bottle for all boarding and flights. Problem solved.
Smiley: nod
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#31 Jul 30 2014 at 6:03 AM Rating: Good
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The One and Only Poldaran wrote:
someproteinguy wrote:
[BDT
Somehow, I feel like I should have known.

I clicked the latex horse suit picture. It even made me grin. I'm not gonna do a BDT search while at work though. Smiley: um
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#32 Jul 30 2014 at 7:58 AM Rating: Good
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BonYogi wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
My first thought on seeing this was "Spiderman, Captain America and Batman, equine edition."
Now that you've put the thought in my head, I'd have gone with Flash, Quicksilver, and Batman.
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#33 Aug 01 2014 at 12:50 PM Rating: Excellent
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They rejected my idea to make the metal detector into a big slide that you could slide down. It might not speed things up but it would be more fun!
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#34 Aug 01 2014 at 1:08 PM Rating: Good
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It would probably be easier if they just increased the size of the x-ray scanner your carry-ons go through and let you ride through.
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#35 Aug 01 2014 at 4:25 PM Rating: Decent
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Elinda wrote:
That said, I think complimentary slippers would ease the whole shoe removal thing. I dread bare feet on the airport floor.


I'm having flashbacks to a jet lag induced experience at Narita. Slippers sounds like a great idea until you realize that not everyone has the same size feet.
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#36 Aug 01 2014 at 4:44 PM Rating: Good
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I just want to say thank God gbaji here is to explain to us lesser beings how people have different sized feet. I don't think anyone, anywhere, at any time in history, could have figured that one out. Thank you, oh herald of knowledge. Did you come to this conclusion on your own, or do you know someone with feet?
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#37 Aug 01 2014 at 4:46 PM Rating: Excellent
It's interesting actually, he was having a super interesting in depth conversation on the ideal heights of baseboard for various rooms with a coworker, when they looked down and realized that both of them had feet, but that they weren't exactly the same.

Edited, Aug 1st 2014 5:46pm by Xsarus
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#38 Aug 01 2014 at 5:14 PM Rating: Decent
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lolgaxe wrote:
I just want to say thank God gbaji here is to explain to us lesser beings how people have different sized feet. I don't think anyone, anywhere, at any time in history, could have figured that one out. Thank you, oh herald of knowledge. Did you come to this conclusion on your own, or do you know someone with feet?


Nope. It was when I was asked to remove my shoes at Narita airport (that's in Japan btw), and was given slippers to wear to walk over to the metal detector thingie, and the slippers were literally half the size of my feet resulting in a comical shuffle/walk trying to keep the **** things on my feet. I'm sure the folks running the security area were laughing their heads off at the big white man with the apish feet.

But yeah, your idea that I didn't realize that people have different sized feet might be true to. It's all about the comedy, right?
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#39 Aug 01 2014 at 7:47 PM Rating: Good
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gbaji wrote:
It's all about the comedy, right?
It's called observational humor.
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#40 Aug 01 2014 at 9:42 PM Rating: Excellent
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Frekishly large feet are generally a hinderance, though they do come in handy for squishing spiders. But when it comes time to actually find a pair of sheos you can wear, not so much. Based of what I heard of my brother's experiance in japan (who is as tall as I am and almost as big feetwise) i would not enjoy the sandles or low ceilings over there.
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#41 Aug 01 2014 at 11:24 PM Rating: Decent
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I'm sure Japan has slippers of appropriate sizes for all the westerners and their large penisfeet.
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#42 Aug 02 2014 at 1:21 AM Rating: Excellent
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No one has size 15 slippers.
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#43 Aug 04 2014 at 8:39 AM Rating: Good
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Samira wrote:
I wouldn't mind waiting in line with my shoes off if there were a little more transparency about how much they're actually accomplishing. I'm not asking for state secrets, but raw numbers would be nice.

For example, "We stopped 13 terrorists from boarding domestic flights since 2001." Okay, one per year, roughly. Were they all caught using current search/inspection techniques? How much is this inconvenience actually contributing to my safety, and how much is just theater?


The TSA has caught 0 terrorists ever, I think passengers have prevented most of the attempts lately.
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#44 Aug 04 2014 at 8:50 AM Rating: Excellent
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Donbayne wrote:
The TSA has caught 0 terrorists ever

See? The TSA scares terrorists so much that they won't even go to the airport to be caught! Smiley: schooled
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#45 Aug 04 2014 at 9:01 AM Rating: Good
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I hope we take your TSA-pre people and tell them to **** off like you guys do with our Nexus peeps.
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#46 Aug 04 2014 at 12:30 PM Rating: Good
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Donbayne wrote:
I think passengers have prevented most of the attempts lately.
Well, there's just as much evidence proving it was me that prevented all the attempts lately, we'll just go with that. You're welcome, I am amazing.
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