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#1 Apr 01 2013 at 8:09 AM Rating: Excellent
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Like increasing your post count and thus growing your star farm? Tired of trying to think up witty and timeless replies to the myriad trolls and spammers of the worls, while maintiaining your cool? Let the forum do the work for you! We've recently implemented a new module that uses the power of crowd sourcing to automatically search the internet for similar conversations and extrapolate an awsome reply to ANY forum topic. "Microwaved aardvaarks are killing the bees!" Done. "What kind of soup should I wear in my hat today?" Thats an easy one. "where are my pants and why do I have this rash?" er, you may not want to ask that one in public. You get the idea.

Now we're not sure what kind of load this new feature is going to place on the servers, so right now we're only rolling it out in a limited manner with a special trigger. To use it, simply include the phrase "bagel socks" in any post you make. The forum replyometer will do the rest! Try not to use it in reply to really, really, really, really long posts as the whole thing might catch fire. Also, avoid anything having to do with yak bladders. For some reason that seems to confuse the system and it generates an alma.

Anyways, have fun!
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#2 Apr 01 2013 at 8:12 AM Rating: Excellent
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Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
For some reason that seems to confuse the system and it generates an alma.
Kill it with fire.
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#3 Apr 01 2013 at 8:16 AM Rating: Excellent
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I have been using the beta of this software for over ten years.
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#4 Apr 01 2013 at 8:16 AM Rating: Good
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Screenshot


bagel socks
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#5 Apr 01 2013 at 8:22 AM Rating: Good
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basq

bagel socks

Nexa
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#6 Apr 01 2013 at 8:45 AM Rating: Good
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yak bladders
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#7 Apr 01 2013 at 8:50 AM Rating: Good
Needs More Smut
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bagel socks

Can I put in a request for it to stop at an extra 20,000 posts? I don't want it to have ALL the fun without me.
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#8 Apr 01 2013 at 8:58 AM Rating: Excellent
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I'd just like it to auto-reply to everything Alma posts, keeping him in an infinite loop.
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#9 Apr 01 2013 at 9:03 AM Rating: Excellent
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I thought that feature was called Rachel9?
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#10 Apr 01 2013 at 9:04 AM Rating: Good
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Artificial Ignorance.
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I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#11 Apr 01 2013 at 9:04 AM Rating: Good
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Aripyanfar wrote:
I thought that feature was called Rachel9?


You don't want to know what he did to the previous 8 iterations. Smiley: um
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#12 Apr 01 2013 at 9:15 AM Rating: Good
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I'm currently away from the forum. If you need immediate assistance please contact Kaolin the Admin in the feedback forum.
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Post and be happy!
#13 Apr 01 2013 at 9:55 AM Rating: Good
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There's a question that's been on my mind lately: How can someone who claims to be so educated and so open-minded dare to trade fundamental human rights for a cheap "guarantee" of safety and security? I mean, I'm not saying anything you don't already know about. For starters, we've all heard Mr. Kaolian Admin yammer and whine about how he's being scapegoated again, the poor dear. I hope it will not disappoint you to learn that his slurs cannot stand on their own merit. That's why they're dependent on elaborate artifices and explanatory stories to convince us that Kaolian can achieve his goals by friendly and moral conduct.

I used to think that fickle segregationists were the most jaundiced people on the planet, but now I know that Kaolian wants us to believe that faster than you can say "noncontemporaneousness" it will be considered cool to impose twisted new restrictions on society just to satisfy some sort of harebrained drive for power. Yes, things will be that way if we choose to believe that. I choose not to believe that. I choose to believe that if we're not careful, Kaolian's impulsive expedients will throw us into a third world war in the near future. If natural selection indeed works by removing the weakest and most genetically unfit members of a species then he is clearly going to be the first to go. Many the things I've talked about in this letter are obvious. We all know they're true. But still it's necessary for us to say them because inerudite propagandists gobble up Mr. Kaolian Admin's hostile nostrums like golden morsels of simplism.
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#14 Apr 01 2013 at 10:42 AM Rating: Good
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Are bagel socks socks that are made out of bagels, or socks intended to keep bagels warm?
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#15 Apr 01 2013 at 10:48 AM Rating: Excellent
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bagel socks meet hot lonely young jewish girls in your town instantly tonight! bag.els.cx
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#16 Apr 01 2013 at 10:53 AM Rating: Good
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I tried that, but it was only April O'Neil.
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George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#17 Apr 01 2013 at 10:53 AM Rating: Good
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Screenshot


socks
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— James D. Nicoll
#18 Apr 01 2013 at 10:56 AM Rating: Good
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Hey have you guys heard of bagel socks? It's this cool new steampunk MMORPG. There are robot fighting robots, 12 unique classes like necromancer and wizard, steel armors, and dragons!

www.kickstarter.com/bagelsocksgame
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#19 Apr 01 2013 at 11:05 AM Rating: Excellent
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Needs more bagel. Smiley: disappointed
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#20 Apr 01 2013 at 11:06 AM Rating: Excellent
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hmm. it's not working right. Maybe you need to capitolize Bagel? That or I misspelled it. Maybe try common typo variations of bagel and socks until it works right? I dunno, i'll fix it when i get home.
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#21 Apr 01 2013 at 11:08 AM Rating: Decent
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Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
Maybe you need to capitolize Bagel?


I'm against bagelarchies.
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gbaji wrote:
You guys keep tossing facts out there like they mean something.


#22 Apr 01 2013 at 11:09 AM Rating: Good
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bagel socks
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#23 Apr 01 2013 at 11:10 AM Rating: Good
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oh no i got fooled well done kaolian five stars
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“Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.”
#24 Apr 01 2013 at 11:19 AM Rating: Good
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Bagel socks
baguette socks
English muffin socks
Yak bladder
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#25 Apr 01 2013 at 11:30 AM Rating: Good
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Jeff Bagwell socks?
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#26 Apr 01 2013 at 11:31 AM Rating: Excellent
I was fooled for a minute, It made sense that some of the newer posters were brainless automatons Smiley: nod
#27 Apr 01 2013 at 11:31 AM Rating: Good
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That's not a nice thing to say about the General forums. They're hardly automatons.
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George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#28 Apr 01 2013 at 11:33 AM Rating: Good
Quiet Jennock, we're +1ing here.

Bagel socks

Edited, Apr 1st 2013 1:33pm by IDrownFish
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#29 Apr 01 2013 at 11:33 AM Rating: Good
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Your mom's an automatron!
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#30 Apr 01 2013 at 11:50 AM Rating: Good
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Do bagel socks smell like bagels or socks, or maybe they smell like Lilies of the Valley?

The answer is only a google app away....Google Nose BETA.
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#31 Apr 01 2013 at 1:25 PM Rating: Good
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Is this in addition to the recently added autoquote function?

Edited, Apr 1st 2013 3:25pm by Debalic
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#32 Apr 01 2013 at 1:32 PM Rating: Decent
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Where was this when i was trying to get 30k?
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#33 Apr 01 2013 at 2:30 PM Rating: Excellent
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You know who else likes bagel socks? My mom!
#34 Apr 01 2013 at 3:11 PM Rating: Good
Worst. Title. Ever!
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Nadenu wrote:
You know who else likes bagel socks? My mom!

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#35 Apr 01 2013 at 4:06 PM Rating: Excellent
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Socks.
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#36 Apr 01 2013 at 5:28 PM Rating: Default
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Uglysasquatch wrote:
I'd just like it to auto-reply to everything Alma posts, keeping him in an infinite loop.


Good luck with that.
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#37 Apr 02 2013 at 8:03 AM Rating: Decent
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I just want to see Alma debate Cleverbot.
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#38 Apr 02 2013 at 8:08 AM Rating: Good
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cidbahamut wrote:
I just want to see Alma debate Cleverbot.


Trying to keep Cleverbot from becoming self-aware, eh?
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"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
#39 Apr 02 2013 at 8:13 AM Rating: Decent
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Nah, I just want to see which one of them gives up first. My money is on it being Cleverbot.
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IcookPizza wrote:

I think RDM's neurotic omniscience is sooooooo worth including in any alliance.
#40 Apr 02 2013 at 8:21 AM Rating: Excellent
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I'd be more interested in Alma getting psychological help from Eliza.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#41 Apr 02 2013 at 8:23 AM Rating: Excellent
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I vote a delicious dish of Agent Orange Chicken.
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George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#42 Apr 02 2013 at 10:43 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
I'd be more interested in Alma getting psychological help from Eliza.
"Aye" Professor 'iggans, "Alma's words, like turds fall mainly on the nerds"


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#43 Apr 02 2013 at 7:02 PM Rating: Decent
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I feel so loved!Smiley: grin
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Demea wrote:
Almalieque wrote:

I'm biased against statistics
#44 Apr 03 2013 at 2:18 PM Rating: Good
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how do bagel socks work?
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#45 Apr 03 2013 at 10:32 PM Rating: Excellent
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First you have to locate the foot of a bagel. This only works on very large bagels usually, or on a stack of 12 or so. Then, the bagel very crefully puts on its socks before going into the shoe.
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