Forum Settings
       
« Previous 1 2 3 4
Reply To Thread

Help me understand...Martha StewartFollow

#1 Mar 14 2013 at 8:10 AM Rating: Decent
Lunatic
******
30,084 posts
Being an elite pseudo hipster with no TV, I occasionally miss out on cultural touchstones. I was aware of Martha Stewart only in the meta sense of people's reactions/parodies of her. Nexa and I were looking for The Daily Show (where as Progressives is out only news source) on Hulu, but they're on break. There was a highlighted playlist that included "From Martha's Kitchen" so I thought "What the ****, I've never watched Martha Stewart, this might be funny."

Prior to this, I was sort of under the impression that Martha Stewart was someone who presented complex things as if they were easy, a cold suburban perfectionist who housewives could strive to be like, but never succeed.

Apparently not. I watched 20 minutes, small sample set, I know, but what I saw was essentially a middle aged woman on Valium doing astonishingly mundane sh*t I'd expect Hannah to be able to do well. Who is the audience for this???

The woman explained how to fry an egg for 10 minutes. Literally. FRY A FUCKING EGG!!!

How did she build a multimillion dollar empire from this sort of thing? What am I missing??! It's Mr. Rogers for 30 year old women. Or something. Help me understand.

http://www.hulu.com/#!watch/399635?playlist_id=1548&asset_scope=all

An egg. Later she makes French Toast, which starts with "Buy a loaf of brioche"...The fuck? Why not just "buy french toast"

Edited, Mar 14th 2013 10:11am by Smasharoo
____________________________
Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#2 Mar 14 2013 at 8:13 AM Rating: Excellent
******
49,650 posts
Never underestimate the power of bored suburbanites with expendable incomes?
____________________________
George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#3 Mar 14 2013 at 8:24 AM Rating: Good
Skelly Poker Since 2008
*****
16,594 posts
I blame it on extraordinary marketing.

Here's Martha on Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me's Not My Job segment. Maybe it will shed some light on your enigma.



____________________________
Alma wrote:
I lost my post
#4 Mar 14 2013 at 8:25 AM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
I'm not even sure how to answer this without making a "Oh, is it 1992?" joke.
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#5 Mar 14 2013 at 8:33 AM Rating: Decent
Lunatic
******
30,084 posts
I'm not even sure how to answer this without making a "Oh, is it 1992?" joke.

I know. I've also never watched "Oprah". I was fairly busy in the last 20 years, daytime TV wasn't really something I had many chances to watch. Certainly not US daytime TV. I did see when they added the greenscreen coffee table to "Breakfast" but that's about it.

That said, I usually can at least understand how shows become popular. Jerry Springer, I get it, white trash voyeurism. Even Rachel Ray I mostly understand. She's your fat friend with a great personality who can't cook at all but tries really hard. Ellen is your safe ******* friend, etc. I really don't understand what this is even "supposed" to be. Are there people who can't fry an egg? Does it give license to the petit bourgeoisie to serve a fried egg and pretend it's sophisticated?

I genuinely, all joking aside, do not get the demographic that watches this show. The woman's not attractive in any way I can discern, she doesn't seem particularly nurturing/mother figure like either. Is it someone to feel that you're better than?
____________________________
Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#6 Mar 14 2013 at 8:38 AM Rating: Good
******
21,720 posts
Smasharoo wrote:
Even Rachel Ray I mostly understand. She's your fat friend with a great personality who can't cook at all but tries really hard.


Um, what? Even at her heaviest, she was barely chubby.
____________________________
R.I.P. Jessica M. 5/3/2010
This post brought to you by Carl's Jr.
gbaji wrote:
You guys keep tossing facts out there like they mean something.


#7 Mar 14 2013 at 8:38 AM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
WASPy white upper-middle income women like her. Women who enjoy decorating their homes to hit the sweet spot between "handcrafted enough to be interesting and unique" and "sterile enough to be clean".

My mother, despite failing on the "P" front (and the "AS" front, I suppose -- WPC doesn't roll off the tongue), is a big fan of Ms. Stewart. She sometimes gives old copies of her magazine to Flea who then puts them in a pile until someone remembers to throw them away.

Edit: I can't answer for the egg thing. I haven't seen it and will likely never see it.

Edited, Mar 14th 2013 9:42am by Jophiel
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#8 Mar 14 2013 at 8:42 AM Rating: Decent
Lunatic
******
30,084 posts
My mother, despite failing on the "P" front, is a big fan of Ms. Stewart. She sometimes gives old copies of her magazine to Flea who then puts them in a pile until someone remembers to throw them away.

The magazine is not at all like the TV Show. Nexa has a few copies of the magazine. The magazine I understand completely. There is one within reach, let me see what an article is....making your own candy and then boxes to give it as gifts in. I understand that. Most people probably don't make candy and boxes regularly.

Maye I just saw an unrepresentative episode. Hard for me to imagine your mother couldn't fry an egg and make french toast prior to learning from Martha, or saw much value in it.
____________________________
Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#9 Mar 14 2013 at 8:43 AM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
I've seen her watching Stewart on TV before although she was usually arranging mossy twigs or standing in a cranberry bog (Martha, not my mother).
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#10 Mar 14 2013 at 8:47 AM Rating: Decent
Lunatic
******
30,084 posts
Um, what? Even at her heaviest, she was barely chubby.

All relative, I guess. Assume I edit it to "sexless thumb with eyes who makes you look attractive" instead of fat.
____________________________
Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#11 Mar 14 2013 at 8:49 AM Rating: Decent
******
21,720 posts
Smasharoo wrote:
Um, what? Even at her heaviest, she was barely chubby.

All relative, I guess. Assume I edit it to "sexless thumb with eyes who makes you look attractive" instead of fat.

Whatever you need to do to justify your own bad judgement.
____________________________
R.I.P. Jessica M. 5/3/2010
This post brought to you by Carl's Jr.
gbaji wrote:
You guys keep tossing facts out there like they mean something.


#12 Mar 14 2013 at 8:53 AM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
I remember the story of Stewart getting in trouble in prison for straying too far off the grounds, collecting wild berries to make jellies or some such. I'm sure the story was carefully crafted and pushed by her media empire but it still gave me a chuckle.
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#13 Mar 14 2013 at 8:53 AM Rating: Decent
Lunatic
******
30,084 posts
Whatever you need to do to justify your own bad judgement.

Not sure how we get there. I'm pretty sure if took my wife and Rachel Ray and showed them to the ~3 Billion straight men in the world, about 2.9999 Billion of them would fine my wife more attractive.

http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/24800000/FHM-Magazine-rachael-ray-24835459-400-491.jpg

If that works for you, hey that's great. It's my understanding there are also men who like women to shit on them. I'm not here to judge.
____________________________
Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#14 Mar 14 2013 at 8:55 AM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
Lacking comparative photo from the other contestant.
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#15 Mar 14 2013 at 8:59 AM Rating: Decent
******
21,720 posts
Smasharoo wrote:
Not sure how we get there. I'm pretty sure if took my wife and Rachel Ray and showed them to the ~3 Billion straight men in the world, about 2.9999 Billion of them would fine my wife more attractive.


I'm sure Nexa appreciates your high opinion of her, and I wouldn't want to take away from that, but the sheer number of men on the internet who would drool over Rachel Ray lead me to dismiss your assertion rather easily. But who knows, maybe you could have Nexa submit herself to FHM or Maxim for comparison.
____________________________
R.I.P. Jessica M. 5/3/2010
This post brought to you by Carl's Jr.
gbaji wrote:
You guys keep tossing facts out there like they mean something.


#16 Mar 14 2013 at 9:04 AM Rating: Decent
Lunatic
******
30,084 posts
I'm sure Nexa appreciates your high opinion of her, and I wouldn't want to take away from that, but the sheer number of men on the internet who would drool over Rachel Ray lead me to dismiss your assertion rather easily.

Sheer number? I'm sure both you and the other fellow that see her as a *** object could have an interesting pork rind lunch chatting about how attractive she is, but I honestly think you're projecting a little here. To see a woman more attractive than her I'd have to go to my window and wait 5 minutes. I mean she's famous, so I guess that's worth something? I don't really see, actually.
____________________________
Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#17 Mar 14 2013 at 9:05 AM Rating: Good
Worst. Title. Ever!
*****
16,847 posts
BrownDuck wrote:
Smasharoo wrote:
Not sure how we get there. I'm pretty sure if took my wife and Rachel Ray and showed them to the ~3 Billion straight men in the world, about 2.9999 Billion of them would fine my wife more attractive.


I'm sure Nexa appreciates your high opinion of her, and I wouldn't want to take away from that, but the sheer number of men on the internet who would drool over Rachel Ray lead me to dismiss your assertion rather easily. But who knows, maybe you could have Nexa submit herself to FHM or Maxim for comparison.


At the risk of being assassinated by a Smash-sent hitman in the middle of the night, having seen a picture Nexa posted. I'm inclined to agree with Smash.

I'm not saying Rachel is ugly, though.
____________________________
Can't sleep, clown will eat me.
#18 Mar 14 2013 at 9:07 AM Rating: Decent
Lunatic
******
30,084 posts
At the risk of being assassinated by a Smash-sent hitman in the middle of the night, having seen a picture Nexa posted. I'm inclined to agree with Smash.

Welcome to THE LIST ***hole.
____________________________
Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#19 Mar 14 2013 at 9:08 AM Rating: Excellent
******
49,650 posts
I think there's something fundamentally wrong with me that my first thought about this turn of conversation is that at least it isn't about Paula Deen.
____________________________
George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#20 Mar 14 2013 at 9:12 AM Rating: Good
Skelly Poker Since 2008
*****
16,594 posts
There's no way to win this debate without posting a pic of Nexa.

I can only say Rachel Ray's voice is too annoying to get beyond for an honest critique of her appearance.
____________________________
Alma wrote:
I lost my post
#21 Mar 14 2013 at 9:17 AM Rating: Decent
Lunatic
******
30,084 posts
There's no way to win this debate without posting a pic of Nexa.

I'm not in the habit of posting pictures of Nexa without her consent. Because I like having genitals when I wake each morning. Many people on this forum have met or seen images of her, many on teh facebooks. I don't think it's really an arguable thing. I'd feel that way if I'd never met her. The fact that she's also incredibly smart, funny, a great mother and all that other sappy ******** means that even if she looked like Jabba the Hut, I'd still love her. On balance, though, I'll go with the current state of affairs.
____________________________
Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#22 Mar 14 2013 at 9:18 AM Rating: Excellent
Meat Popsicle
*****
13,369 posts
I'll join the chorus; thread needs more visual aids.

We never did Martha Stewart are here, if anything the Mrs. was more of a Sam Choy kind of gal when it came to cooking stuff. Interior decorating theme is somewhere between 'lawn of toys' and 'pile of toys' depending on what kind of day we've had.
____________________________
That monster in the mirror, he just might be you. -Grover
#23 Mar 14 2013 at 9:30 AM Rating: Good
Needs More Smut
******
21,262 posts
I like Rachel Ray, but I agree about her annoying voice. I think a good deal of her attractiveness is due to her knowing how to make a really good burger. Thirty Minute Meals is usually on when I'm at the gym, and I've picked up many a burger trick from her. The rest of her dishes are kind of meh compared to her compatriots, but at least you know her ideas will be doable in less than four hours. (I'm looking at you, Giada and your "oh hey lets marinade this half the day while you set up for your party!")

As for Martha Stewart, I don't understand the appeal either. The branded houseware products are cheap and overpriced. She actually had a low end line in K-Mart for a while there. Her personality seems fake to me.
____________________________
FFXI: Catwho on Bismarck: Retired December 2014
Thayos wrote:
I can't understand anyone who skips the cutscenes of a Final Fantasy game. That's like going to Texas and not getting barbecue.

FFXIV: Katarh Mest and Taprara Rara on Lamia Server - Member of The Swarm
Curator of the XIV Wallpapers Tumblr and the XIV Fashion Tumblr
#24 Mar 14 2013 at 9:32 AM Rating: Decent
Lunatic
******
30,084 posts
Her personality seems fake to me.

No! Fake? I don't get that at all.
____________________________
Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#25 Mar 14 2013 at 9:40 AM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
catwho wrote:
Her personality seems fake to me.

Would you feel better knowing that she's giving soulless smiles and saying "It's a good thing" in her day to day life?
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#26 Mar 14 2013 at 9:44 AM Rating: Decent
Lunatic
******
30,084 posts
Would you feel better knowing that she's giving soulless smiles and saying "It's a good thing" in her day to day life?

I don't know where you people live, but there are 1000 women like this withing a five mile radius of me. I frequently encounter them bringing Hannah or the boy to some function. I assume they're episcopalian or something.
____________________________
Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

« Previous 1 2 3 4
Reply To Thread

Colors Smileys Quote OriginalQuote Checked Help

 

Recent Visitors: 60 All times are in CDT
Samira, Anonymous Guests (59)