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Someonebody's been elected the new Pope.Follow

#1 Mar 13 2013 at 12:35 PM Rating: Good
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Get your last predictions in quickly!
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#2 Mar 13 2013 at 12:36 PM Rating: Excellent
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In these final hours of non-Popeness, I'd just like to tell you all that you're all going to ****.

I'll be telling you the same in a few but then it'll be as Pope.
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#3 Mar 13 2013 at 12:37 PM Rating: Good
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Game on.
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#4 Mar 13 2013 at 12:47 PM Rating: Excellent
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Benedict was chosen to replace himself.
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#5 Mar 13 2013 at 12:58 PM Rating: Good
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Benedict was chosen to replace himself.

That's the M Night Shamalammmamamamam version
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#6 Mar 13 2013 at 12:59 PM Rating: Good
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I think it was Jophiel.
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#7 Mar 13 2013 at 1:12 PM Rating: Decent
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Someone on my Facebook feed was saying it'd be Dennis Rodman. I think that'd make for interesting times.
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#8 Mar 13 2013 at 1:13 PM Rating: Good
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I'd like to see the black guy get it, not because I know his stance or believe he's the most qualified or anything, but just for the following week of outrage to accompany it.
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#9 Mar 13 2013 at 1:15 PM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
I'd like to see the black guy get it, not because I know his stance or believe he's the most qualified or anything, but just for the following week of outrage to accompany it.


The Cardinals would probably switch back to white robes if a black guy was ever made pope.
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#10 Mar 13 2013 at 1:20 PM Rating: Decent
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Hmm Argentinian. That's interesting.
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#11 Mar 13 2013 at 1:20 PM Rating: Excellent
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I hope they announce it by doing the Harlem Shake.

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#12 Mar 13 2013 at 1:22 PM Rating: Good
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Smasharoo wrote:
Hmm Argentinian. That's interesting.
Jorge Mario? That guy couldn't look more white. Smiley: disappointed
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#13 Mar 13 2013 at 1:27 PM Rating: Decent
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Jorge Mario? That guy couldn't look more white.

See, that's Africa's problem, not enough chalk white Cardinals.
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#14 Mar 13 2013 at 1:29 PM Rating: Excellent
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lolgaxe wrote:
Smasharoo wrote:
Hmm Argentinian. That's interesting.
Jorge Mario? That guy couldn't look more white. Smiley: disappointed

According to Flea, all Argentinians are Euro-wannabes.
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#15 Mar 13 2013 at 1:30 PM Rating: Decent
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Our neighbors mother is Argentinian. Looks like a someone from an LL Bean catalog.
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#16 Mar 13 2013 at 1:35 PM Rating: Good
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Argentina borders Brazil, maybe he is related to one of the ***** that fled there? Smiley: tongue
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#17 Mar 13 2013 at 1:37 PM Rating: Good
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Argentina borders Brazil, maybe he is related to one of the ***** that fled there

They mostly fled to Argentina.
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#18 Mar 13 2013 at 1:39 PM Rating: Excellent
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Jophiel wrote:
In these final hours of non-Popeness, I'd just like to tell you all that you're all going to ****.

I'll be telling you the same in a few but then it'll be as Pope.

Lighten up, Francis.
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#19 Mar 13 2013 at 1:45 PM Rating: Excellent
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Hey, he's a Jesuit. That's probably more interesting than the living near brown people part.
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#20 Mar 13 2013 at 2:02 PM Rating: Decent
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He apparently has a history of kidnapping other priests, or at least making plans to. I can't wait to hear how that tidbit from his past gets re-examined.
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#21 Mar 13 2013 at 2:19 PM Rating: Excellent
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They were pedophiles, he was doing it to save the children of course.

Can't get elected pope without eliminating your rivals! Smiley: tinfoilhat
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#22 Mar 13 2013 at 2:53 PM Rating: Excellent
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I imagine the conversation went something like this:

"Man, Ratzinger is so old! He was 78 when he was elected pope! Let's make the next guy younger so he lasts longer."
"How old is Bergoglio?"
"76"
"Sure, he's practically a baby!"
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#23 Mar 13 2013 at 3:50 PM Rating: Good
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His parents actually emigrated from Italy. So, yeah, descended from Italian fascists.
#24 Mar 13 2013 at 5:06 PM Rating: Good
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Dammit, now they just have to figure out some way to turn "Francis" into "Peter" and he really is Peter the Roman.
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#25 Mar 13 2013 at 7:41 PM Rating: Good
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Because there's not enough people predicting the end of the world yet.
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#26 Mar 14 2013 at 8:09 AM Rating: Excellent
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Here's hoping.
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#27 Mar 14 2013 at 8:10 AM Rating: Decent
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cidbahamut wrote:
He apparently has a history of kidnapping other priests, or at least making plans to. I can't wait to hear how that tidbit from his past gets re-examined.

Was he going to eat them? They say he cooks his own meals.

Yesterday wassuch a confusing news day.
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#28 Mar 14 2013 at 8:14 AM Rating: Good
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Dammit, now they just have to figure out some way to turn "Francis" into "Peter"

F Assisi's father was named Peter. The loonies will make it fit, don't worry. It's the next pope that will cause them problems.
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? ***. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#29 Mar 14 2013 at 8:21 AM Rating: Good
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I wonder if he's gonna be like Francis Griffin.


Edited, Mar 14th 2013 10:21am by Shaowstrike
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#30 Mar 14 2013 at 11:46 PM Rating: Good
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Because I have been on a roll posting Eddie Izzard videos:

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