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I think my boss got me to sort of quit today?Follow

#1 Sep 04 2012 at 8:35 PM Rating: Good
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My boss started asking me questions about if my husband and I were planning to stay in Hawaii and stuff on Friday. She finally said, basically I'm wondering if you're going to stay here. I don't want to lie to her, so I said I wasn't sure, and she asked me to explain. I told her that living out here, and having my grandma sick, I was thinking that I may need a job with more flexability.

She brought it back up today, and again, unwilling to lie about it, I told her that I was considering a career that would allow me to work from home so if I needed to go off island, I can take my work with me. I told her I was looking at a Medical Transcription course, and it would take about six months to complete and yadda yadda. At the end of the conversation, she said "So basically you're giving your six month notice." I said yes, I guess that is sort of what we're talkng about.

Did I just majorly shoot myself in the foot...? I'm afraid I didn't handle it very well. It's true that I probably would've left in about six months, but what I'd I can't finish the course in time or I don't find a job right away? Is this "notice" going to mean she can let me go and I can't get unemployment if I really need it?

I feel like I majorly screwed up here today, but I just want to be honest about what's going on.
#2 Sep 04 2012 at 8:41 PM Rating: Excellent
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My policy is that it's not official unless it's on paper, and your HR department will probably feel the same way. Keep doing as you are doing, and if they try to force you out in six months with the only reason being a casual conversation with your boss, get a lawyer.
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#3 Sep 04 2012 at 8:42 PM Rating: Good
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There isn't an HR department. It's me, my boss, and a Board of Directors.
#4 Sep 04 2012 at 8:44 PM Rating: Good
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That's a toughie. It sounds like your boss kind of cornered you and forced you into a decision. While I can't say I approve of her technique, you may want to give it some serious consideration as to how you feel about your job. This could be a good thing in that it forces you into action to follow through with preparing to leave. I don't really see how you can backtrack from this. Even if you sat down with her and explained that she had kind of cornered you into saying something that you hadn't been able to completely analyze and make a fair decision on, she's always going to think you have one foot out the door.

Hindsight and all, you should have just asked her why she was asking and put her on the defensive. If it came back to you tell her you really didn't have any plans to leave at the moment. I am curious as to what prompted her cornering you like that though, had you brought it up before this?
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#5 Sep 04 2012 at 8:44 PM Rating: Excellent
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Employers make it part of SOP to keep secrets from employees, there's no reason you have share such information with them.



Edited, Sep 4th 2012 9:47pm by trickybeck
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#6 Sep 04 2012 at 8:47 PM Rating: Good
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Belkira wrote:
There isn't an HR department. It's me, my boss, and a Board of Directors.


Still, without official documentation and without any infractions on your record at your company, it's going to be pretty hard to justify letting you go over a conversation you had with your boss over six months previous during a difficult time in your life. They don't know if things are going to change for the better or not.


Edit: Forgot to quote Belkira

Edited, Sep 4th 2012 10:50pm by Shaowstrike
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#7 Sep 04 2012 at 8:51 PM Rating: Excellent
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Kakar wrote:
That's a toughie. It sounds like your boss kind of cornered you and forced you into a decision. While I can't say I approve of her technique, you may want to give it some serious consideration as to how you feel about your job. This could be a good thing in that it forces you into action to follow through with preparing to leave. I don't really see how you can backtrack from this. Even if you sat down with her and explained that she had kind of cornered you into saying something that you hadn't been able to completely analyze and make a fair decision on, she's always going to think you have one foot out the door.

Hindsight and all, you should have just asked her why she was asking and put her on the defensive. If it came back to you tell her you really didn't have any plans to leave at the moment. I am curious as to what prompted her cornering you like that though, had you brought it up before this?


When my husband took his job here, they asked him to commit verbally to two years. I don't know how binding that is, but she was asking if we were planning to go back to the mainland when those two years are up. That's how the conversation started.

The chick who worked here before me was also "asked to resign" because the job was going full time and she didn't want to work full time. Long story short, when this girl agreed but then said wait, I can't afford to quit, my boss fought against the unemployment claim and won. I sort of feel like she worded the question in such a way as to be able to do the same to me if I am not prepared to leave in six months.

Edited, Sep 4th 2012 9:55pm by Belkira
#8 Sep 04 2012 at 8:58 PM Rating: Excellent
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Huh, sounds like she's had practice in these matters.

My advice, do what you said. Get your training for a work at home job, and if that's not looking good after 3 months just start applying elsewhere. Where's your hubby stand on this, is he wanting to head back Stateside?
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#9 Sep 04 2012 at 9:12 PM Rating: Excellent
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If you really want to cover your ***, go to her tomorrow (or write an email, probably better documentation) and clarify yourself. Let her know that you're afraid that you were misunderstood, that you really appreciate the job and you want to keep it for as long as possible. You are just going to school to open up opportunities for yourself in the future, because it's what's best for your family. This isn't a valid reason to fire you, and if unemployment was ever contested on the basis of this conversation you'd have something to back up your side of the story.
#10 Sep 04 2012 at 9:17 PM Rating: Excellent
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"I can't see that far in the future, but if my plans change you'll be the first to know" is what you should have said.
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#11 Sep 04 2012 at 11:09 PM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
"I can't see that far in the future, but if my plans change you'll be the first to know" is what you should have said.


You're right. But I was completely unprepared for the conversation, and I just answered without thinking.

Kakar, we don't have plans to move back to the mainland any time soon. I'm pretty sure that I can finish my coursework and find a job in six months. I just hate having this axe over my head.
#12 Sep 04 2012 at 11:29 PM Rating: Decent
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Belkira wrote:
Kakar, we don't have plans to move back to the mainland any time soon. I'm pretty sure that I can finish my coursework and find a job in six months. I just hate having this axe over my head.


You can always tell them that if you are let go you'll awaken the local volcano god in order to bring it's wrath down on their heads. I'm pretty sure they realize that they are WAY behind on their sacrifice quota.
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#13 Sep 05 2012 at 5:50 AM Rating: Excellent
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lolgaxe wrote:
"I can't see that far in the future, but if my plans change you'll be the first to know" is what you should have said.



That, or "if you're asking for a longer commitment I'll need to see some incentive, bitCh."

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#14 Sep 05 2012 at 7:00 AM Rating: Excellent
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Samira wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
"I can't see that far in the future, but if my plans change you'll be the first to know" is what you should have said.


That, or "if you're asking for a longer commitment I'll need to see some incentive, bitCh."


New De Beers advertising campaign, right here.

Edited, Sep 5th 2012 1:02pm by Kavekk
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#15 Sep 05 2012 at 7:30 AM Rating: Decent
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Lie. Tell her "I'm making a career out of this and I hope to last long enough to end up with your job".
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#16 Sep 05 2012 at 7:36 AM Rating: Good
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Start dropping hints around the office that you have a lawyer cousin that specializes in wrongful dismissals.
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#17 Sep 05 2012 at 7:39 AM Rating: Good
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Debalic wrote:
Lie.
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#18 Sep 05 2012 at 8:04 AM Rating: Good
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wait wait wait... EMPLOYERS pay unemployment benefits to ex employees who are not working for them in the US? How does that work? How is that fair on anybody?
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#19 Sep 05 2012 at 8:23 AM Rating: Good
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There is unemployment "insurance", part of which comes out with the employee's payroll taxes. It's like any other insurance system, the employer's rates go up the more claims there are, etc.
#20 Sep 05 2012 at 8:40 AM Rating: Default
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At this point, you should stop thinking about what you should have done and think about what you will do.

Since there is no paper trail, I would just go to her and say "Your question the other day made me realize that I didn't have a solid plan. So, I thought through my life plan and I've decided that I will continue working here as long as I can. If anything changes where it might result in me having to quit, I will give you sufficient notice. Thank you for your concern and talk, you really helped me get my life plan in order."

At that point, you have two conversations relatively at the same time, so it would absurd for her to fire you 6 months later for saying something that you immediately countered the next day without any paper trail and/or sworn statement.
#21 Sep 05 2012 at 8:52 AM Rating: Excellent
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Belkira wrote:
The chick who worked here before me was also "asked to resign" because the job was going full time and she didn't want to work full time. Long story short, when this girl agreed but then said wait, I can't afford to quit, my boss fought against the unemployment claim and won. I sort of feel like she worded the question in such a way as to be able to do the same to me if I am not prepared to leave in six months.


Sorry, but I think you hit the nail on the head here.

Almalieque wrote:
At that point, you have two conversations relatively at the same time, so it would absurd for her to fire you 6 months later for saying something that you immediately countered the next day without any paper trail and/or sworn statement.


I doubt that'd stop her; part of me suspects the boss lady wouldn't have asked the question if she wasn't already looking for excuses to fire (you know legitimate ones or not).
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#22 Sep 05 2012 at 9:20 AM Rating: Default
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I doubt that'd stop her; part of me suspects the boss lady wouldn't have asked the question if she wasn't already looking for excuses to fire (you know legitimate ones or not).


Of course; however, I would fight back as well and that's the starting point. If she wants you gone and she as "sneaky" as she is being described, she will find a reason to fire. I just wouldn't give her any reasons. Make her work for it.
#23 Sep 05 2012 at 9:49 AM Rating: Good
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Kavekk wrote:
Samira wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
"I can't see that far in the future, but if my plans change you'll be the first to know" is what you should have said.


That, or "if you're asking for a longer commitment I'll need to see some incentive, bitCh."


New De Beers advertising campaign, right here.


For the first time in like 4 years, I miss my ability to rate up.
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You guys keep tossing facts out there like they mean something.


#24 Sep 05 2012 at 11:10 AM Rating: Good
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BrownDuck wrote:
For the first time in like 4 years, I miss my ability to rate up.


Scholars can't rate?

EDIT: Not sure if scholar. Your name appears in the same dark blue as a scholar (as opposed to....let's see...Alma), but your custom title appears where it'd normally say "scholar".

Edited, Sep 5th 2012 1:13pm by Eske
#25 Sep 05 2012 at 11:11 AM Rating: Decent
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Eske Esquire wrote:
BrownDuck wrote:
For the first time in like 4 years, I miss my ability to rate up.
Scholars can't rate up?


Something something about a previous karma issue, subsequent norate, etc.
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gbaji wrote:
You guys keep tossing facts out there like they mean something.


#26 Sep 05 2012 at 11:13 AM Rating: Good
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BrownDuck wrote:
Eske Esquire wrote:
BrownDuck wrote:
For the first time in like 4 years, I miss my ability to rate up.
Scholars can't rate up?


Something something about a previous karma issue, subsequent norate, etc.


Oh. Silliness.
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