My boss started asking me questions about if my husband and I were planning to stay in Hawaii and stuff on Friday. She finally said, basically I'm wondering if you're going to stay here. I don't want to lie to her, so I said I wasn't sure, and she asked me to explain. I told her that living out here, and having my grandma sick, I was thinking that I may need a job with more flexability.
She brought it back up today, and again, unwilling to lie about it, I told her that I was considering a career that would allow me to work from home so if I needed to go off island, I can take my work with me. I told her I was looking at a Medical Transcription course, and it would take about six months to complete and yadda yadda. At the end of the conversation, she said "So basically you're giving your six month notice." I said yes, I guess that is sort of what we're talkng about.
Did I just majorly shoot myself in the foot...? I'm afraid I didn't handle it very well. It's true that I probably would've left in about six months, but what I'd I can't finish the course in time or I don't find a job right away? Is this "notice" going to mean she can let me go and I can't get unemployment if I really need it?
I feel like I majorly screwed up here today, but I just want to be honest about what's going on.
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- I think my boss got me to sort of quit today?
I think my boss got me to sort of quit today?Follow
My policy is that it's not official unless it's on paper, and your HR department will probably feel the same way. Keep doing as you are doing, and if they try to force you out in six months with the only reason being a casual conversation with your boss, get a lawyer.
Shaowstrike (Retired - FFXI)
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"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
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"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
There isn't an HR department. It's me, my boss, and a Board of Directors.
That's a toughie. It sounds like your boss kind of cornered you and forced you into a decision. While I can't say I approve of her technique, you may want to give it some serious consideration as to how you feel about your job. This could be a good thing in that it forces you into action to follow through with preparing to leave. I don't really see how you can backtrack from this. Even if you sat down with her and explained that she had kind of cornered you into saying something that you hadn't been able to completely analyze and make a fair decision on, she's always going to think you have one foot out the door.
Hindsight and all, you should have just asked her why she was asking and put her on the defensive. If it came back to you tell her you really didn't have any plans to leave at the moment. I am curious as to what prompted her cornering you like that though, had you brought it up before this?
Hindsight and all, you should have just asked her why she was asking and put her on the defensive. If it came back to you tell her you really didn't have any plans to leave at the moment. I am curious as to what prompted her cornering you like that though, had you brought it up before this?
Some people are like slinkies, they aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
Employers make it part of SOP to keep secrets from employees, there's no reason you have share such information with them.
Edited, Sep 4th 2012 9:47pm by trickybeck
Belkira wrote:
There isn't an HR department. It's me, my boss, and a Board of Directors.
Still, without official documentation and without any infractions on your record at your company, it's going to be pretty hard to justify letting you go over a conversation you had with your boss over six months previous during a difficult time in your life. They don't know if things are going to change for the better or not.
Edit: Forgot to quote Belkira
Edited, Sep 4th 2012 10:50pm by Shaowstrike
Shaowstrike (Retired - FFXI)
91PUP/BLM 86SMN/BST 76DRK
Cooking/Fishing 100
"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
91PUP/BLM 86SMN/BST 76DRK
Cooking/Fishing 100
"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
Kakar wrote:
That's a toughie. It sounds like your boss kind of cornered you and forced you into a decision. While I can't say I approve of her technique, you may want to give it some serious consideration as to how you feel about your job. This could be a good thing in that it forces you into action to follow through with preparing to leave. I don't really see how you can backtrack from this. Even if you sat down with her and explained that she had kind of cornered you into saying something that you hadn't been able to completely analyze and make a fair decision on, she's always going to think you have one foot out the door.
Hindsight and all, you should have just asked her why she was asking and put her on the defensive. If it came back to you tell her you really didn't have any plans to leave at the moment. I am curious as to what prompted her cornering you like that though, had you brought it up before this?
Hindsight and all, you should have just asked her why she was asking and put her on the defensive. If it came back to you tell her you really didn't have any plans to leave at the moment. I am curious as to what prompted her cornering you like that though, had you brought it up before this?
When my husband took his job here, they asked him to commit verbally to two years. I don't know how binding that is, but she was asking if we were planning to go back to the mainland when those two years are up. That's how the conversation started.
The chick who worked here before me was also "asked to resign" because the job was going full time and she didn't want to work full time. Long story short, when this girl agreed but then said wait, I can't afford to quit, my boss fought against the unemployment claim and won. I sort of feel like she worded the question in such a way as to be able to do the same to me if I am not prepared to leave in six months.
Edited, Sep 4th 2012 9:55pm by Belkira
Huh, sounds like she's had practice in these matters.
My advice, do what you said. Get your training for a work at home job, and if that's not looking good after 3 months just start applying elsewhere. Where's your hubby stand on this, is he wanting to head back Stateside?
My advice, do what you said. Get your training for a work at home job, and if that's not looking good after 3 months just start applying elsewhere. Where's your hubby stand on this, is he wanting to head back Stateside?
Some people are like slinkies, they aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
If you really want to cover your ***, go to her tomorrow (or write an email, probably better documentation) and clarify yourself. Let her know that you're afraid that you were misunderstood, that you really appreciate the job and you want to keep it for as long as possible. You are just going to school to open up opportunities for yourself in the future, because it's what's best for your family. This isn't a valid reason to fire you, and if unemployment was ever contested on the basis of this conversation you'd have something to back up your side of the story.
"I can't see that far in the future, but if my plans change you'll be the first to know" is what you should have said.
George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
lolgaxe wrote:
"I can't see that far in the future, but if my plans change you'll be the first to know" is what you should have said.
You're right. But I was completely unprepared for the conversation, and I just answered without thinking.
Kakar, we don't have plans to move back to the mainland any time soon. I'm pretty sure that I can finish my coursework and find a job in six months. I just hate having this axe over my head.
Belkira wrote:
Kakar, we don't have plans to move back to the mainland any time soon. I'm pretty sure that I can finish my coursework and find a job in six months. I just hate having this axe over my head.
You can always tell them that if you are let go you'll awaken the local volcano god in order to bring it's wrath down on their heads. I'm pretty sure they realize that they are WAY behind on their sacrifice quota.
Shaowstrike (Retired - FFXI)
91PUP/BLM 86SMN/BST 76DRK
Cooking/Fishing 100
"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
91PUP/BLM 86SMN/BST 76DRK
Cooking/Fishing 100
"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
lolgaxe wrote:
"I can't see that far in the future, but if my plans change you'll be the first to know" is what you should have said.
That, or "if you're asking for a longer commitment I'll need to see some incentive, bitCh."
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Samira wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
"I can't see that far in the future, but if my plans change you'll be the first to know" is what you should have said.
That, or "if you're asking for a longer commitment I'll need to see some incentive, bitCh."
New De Beers advertising campaign, right here.
Edited, Sep 5th 2012 1:02pm by Kavekk
Lie. Tell her "I'm making a career out of this and I hope to last long enough to end up with your job".
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
Start dropping hints around the office that you have a lawyer cousin that specializes in wrongful dismissals.
Alma wrote:
I lost my post
Debalic wrote:
Lie.
George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
wait wait wait... EMPLOYERS pay unemployment benefits to ex employees who are not working for them in the US? How does that work? How is that fair on anybody?
There is unemployment "insurance", part of which comes out with the employee's payroll taxes. It's like any other insurance system, the employer's rates go up the more claims there are, etc.
At this point, you should stop thinking about what you should have done and think about what you will do.
Since there is no paper trail, I would just go to her and say "Your question the other day made me realize that I didn't have a solid plan. So, I thought through my life plan and I've decided that I will continue working here as long as I can. If anything changes where it might result in me having to quit, I will give you sufficient notice. Thank you for your concern and talk, you really helped me get my life plan in order."
At that point, you have two conversations relatively at the same time, so it would absurd for her to fire you 6 months later for saying something that you immediately countered the next day without any paper trail and/or sworn statement.
Since there is no paper trail, I would just go to her and say "Your question the other day made me realize that I didn't have a solid plan. So, I thought through my life plan and I've decided that I will continue working here as long as I can. If anything changes where it might result in me having to quit, I will give you sufficient notice. Thank you for your concern and talk, you really helped me get my life plan in order."
At that point, you have two conversations relatively at the same time, so it would absurd for her to fire you 6 months later for saying something that you immediately countered the next day without any paper trail and/or sworn statement.
Belkira wrote:
The chick who worked here before me was also "asked to resign" because the job was going full time and she didn't want to work full time. Long story short, when this girl agreed but then said wait, I can't afford to quit, my boss fought against the unemployment claim and won. I sort of feel like she worded the question in such a way as to be able to do the same to me if I am not prepared to leave in six months.
Sorry, but I think you hit the nail on the head here.
Almalieque wrote:
At that point, you have two conversations relatively at the same time, so it would absurd for her to fire you 6 months later for saying something that you immediately countered the next day without any paper trail and/or sworn statement.
I doubt that'd stop her; part of me suspects the boss lady wouldn't have asked the question if she wasn't already looking for excuses to fire (you know legitimate ones or not).
That monster in the mirror, he just might be you. -Grover
Quote:
I doubt that'd stop her; part of me suspects the boss lady wouldn't have asked the question if she wasn't already looking for excuses to fire (you know legitimate ones or not).
Of course; however, I would fight back as well and that's the starting point. If she wants you gone and she as "sneaky" as she is being described, she will find a reason to fire. I just wouldn't give her any reasons. Make her work for it.
Kavekk wrote:
Samira wrote:
lolgaxe wrote:
"I can't see that far in the future, but if my plans change you'll be the first to know" is what you should have said.
That, or "if you're asking for a longer commitment I'll need to see some incentive, bitCh."
New De Beers advertising campaign, right here.
For the first time in like 4 years, I miss my ability to rate up.
BrownDuck wrote:
For the first time in like 4 years, I miss my ability to rate up.
Scholars can't rate?
EDIT: Not sure if scholar. Your name appears in the same dark blue as a scholar (as opposed to....let's see...Alma), but your custom title appears where it'd normally say "scholar".
Edited, Sep 5th 2012 1:13pm by Eske
Eske Esquire wrote:
BrownDuck wrote:
For the first time in like 4 years, I miss my ability to rate up.
Something something about a previous karma issue, subsequent norate, etc.
BrownDuck wrote:
Eske Esquire wrote:
BrownDuck wrote:
For the first time in like 4 years, I miss my ability to rate up.
Something something about a previous karma issue, subsequent norate, etc.
Oh. Silliness.
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