So the couple goes out, they have dinner, movie, dancing, whatever. He asks her to go back to his house. He's not made one move all night, barely even touched her. He says he wants her to come back to his house (or he wants to go to her house) just to talk some more, get to know her better. It's been a great date and she has no reason to believe he's lying to her.
They get in the house, five minutes later he's pressuring her for ***. She really didn't see this coming. He's laid a trap, and now she's caught.
Is this the woman's fault? When should she have said no? How should she have seen this coming?
It's not the women's fault, Gbaji isn't saying it is, and he's very explicitly not
talking about the situation you just described.
Gbaji's making his point very badly, and I'm not sure it's a point that needs to be made really, but he's not saying it's the victim's fault.
He's saying that there are men who will commit date rape regardless, so women should be somewhat cautious, and make sure they are sending the right signals. That's all fine and good, but he's implying that right now women are being encouraged to do absolutely whatever they want and not be careful, which I really don't think is the case. He's addressing a problem that's not there, and then when you try to find the reason, because there isn't a problem you look for other reasons, and infer that he wants to put the blame on the victim, when really he doesn't. Edited, Sep 1st 2011 9:49am by Xsarus