If there's anyone I'm sure McCain wants to pop in the mouth, it's Steve Schmidt. Boy, did that guy fuck McCain over or what?
"Hey, Old Man, listen to this: First we spend a few months calling Obama a celebrity and ******** about his inexperience, right. Then we make this one broad your VP pick despite her lack of experience and hype up her crowd sizes, thus making our previous arguments obsolete. Who is she? Don't worry about that; you'll meet her for at least a half hour in a week or two, right before you declare her. And it won't matter anyway because we're not going to let the media speak to her -- that way we're sure there won't be anything negative reported about her. Brilliant, huh? By the way, we're going to need to cut your media access way back as well. No more of that 'free-wheeling press pool' on the planes crap. The media doesn't care.
So then, we ignore the economic crisis and we'll focus on attacking Obama for hanging out with some guy no one really remembers and who did some shit back in the '60s. If we can, we'll try to paint your rallies as melting pots of the ignorant and the racist -- people who get their political news via random chain e-mails. After a couple weeks of that and spending our whole advertising budget on negative ads thus destroying any remaining credibility you had as a bipartisan maverick (by the way, we're going to need to make that word into a joke by beating it into the ground with a rock), we'll top off the whole thing by hinging our entire economic plan around some schlub from Ohio, the word "socialist" and yelling about campaign finance reform.
What? Old Man, trust me on this. I used to work right under Karl Rove."
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.