Virgins need not apply (NSFW+1)Follow

Mexican Proverb: I'd hit it like a pinata; till it breaks open and the sweet innards drop out and children scramble to gobble it up.

That's hot.

hahaha, I can't wait to see you trip and pretend to faint. I hope it's on the way to dinner the first night. I'll bring a cloth kerchief to fan you with darling!

Nexa

Lemme clear something up - I didn't mean I wanted to **** someone on a code of silence, and I guess I was rather vauge, but the noise I tend to hear is less than a moan, but more a grunt, the noise a gorilla makes when its scratching itself.

Make her keep a kazoo in her mouth the whole time. Tell her it turns you on.

Seriously though, have you tried changing up positions? Some are more apt to promote grunting than others.

Nexa

Sorry, you lost me here. I didn't bother reading the rest.

From what I've gathered from other posts, the general concensus is that you suck.

[:bandwagon:] GFY



Not before I get him stinkin' *** drunk you ain't!

PS ~ I'll buy you a drink if you can make him puke up taco by the end of the first night. Two drinks if you can get him to dance around a Sombrero.

Just go fuck an inflatable doll. She won't be telling shit to other people and she sure as hell won't be moaning back at you so you'll keep your woodie.

P.S. It's called foreplay. Before and during. That makes it better. The actual pumping is for you guys. The foreplay is for us gals. Remember, gals can climax without a guy ever entering us. You guys need to enter some kind of hole to get there.

P.P.S. If you lasted 3 hours in bed, then by that point, your GF was faking hoping you'd get done and off so she could get to sleep.

I'd say three hours before you get off leaves the realm of "woman-pleasing stud" and drives over the state line into "abnormal medical condition"

no, all I have is a wooden chair, a fire place, and this clown picture, and I can't seem to find the door.

We'll get along swiimingly, then. Not only am I the kind the refuses to acknowledge when someone has farted in my presence, but I'm gullible and likely to believe the excuse about the old guy at the next table.

Answer: Virgins need not apply


Question: What words will you never see appear on a congressional intern job posting?

3 hours is to long dude... 1 hour tops; The energy level and enthusiasm loses it's luster after that. Personally i like talking dirty about all the funny sounds sloppy sex makes. Try that, it's normally a turn-on for both my partner and I.

Scratch backs, rub feet, and pull hair, all during sex...