Asylum one hit wondersFollow

Can you quit posting **** and start posting something actually worth a good flame?

Short of a performing a rusty trombone, he's not getting off that easy.

Story time!

In the beginning, there was The Allakhazam, who created the Everquest - General discussion UBB forum. And it was good. The people laughed and were merry, eating of the abundant animals and vegetables of the land, including the sloths and raccoons and gerbils and tofu and pie and broccoli and feral chickens (but never hippos). And for a time it was still good.

One day, lost deep in the mists of time, but probably close to may 2000, the forum was restless. People began to talk of things previously unheard of, of cars, and things <gasp> outside of EQ, and occasionally books. The denizens of the forum recoiled in horror from this perversion of everquest doctrine, that was soon dubbed "Out of Topic". The perpetrators were swiftly rounded up, and upon discovering that locking them in a room with an old model Everqueust gnome was not sufficient torture to make them repent, The Allakhazam created two new forums, the Out of Topic forum and the Book Discussion forum. The exiles were then exiled to one of those forums, though they all pretty much ended up in OOT and forbidden to speak of things against EQ doctrine in the EQ forums. Some of us resisted, but Alas, there came the dread Moderator Darkflame, who with much ruthlessness and occasional cruelty (not to mention snide side comments…) began moving off topic posts back to exile with great abandon! We few rebels were quickly rounded up and sent to reeducation camps to turn our thinking to that of the new order. Yes, in my time I was one of the worst offenders for off topic posting in the general forum, though that is a story for another day.

Days passed. Then turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months, and months turned into almost a year. it was then that The Allakhazam decided to create the "Quest"ions and answer forum for EQ1, in response to a smaller scale rebellion that was again quickly quelled by the ruthless Darkflame!

And Lo! other forums followed as the main site expanded. The Dark ages of Camelot forum, Ultima Online, Asherons call, and eventually the Shadowbane and horizons forums (which are interesting stories in their own rights, Vive la Shadowbania!)

About this time, the first great UBB crash occurred. as a footnote in history, 5 accounts, including the original Kaolian account were lost in the crash. But it was recreated. Yay!

Things continued on in this fashion for many moons. The UBB forum was again upgraded to the later versions. And for a while that too was good. The people again ate the birds and mice and rabbits and lettuce and camels and pigmy shrews and Allactaga sibirica of the forum and danced happily under the stars. But in the east, strange rumors began to circulate. Whispers of dark and terrifying deeds and goings-on in the land of the exiles. A shadow began to creep forth over the land, though the land was big, so no one really much noticed.

Then came the FFXI forum. Almost overnight, a new and radical shift occurred. The EQers, long masters of their domain, were outnumbered for the first time in their long 5 year history. This led to tension and strife between the two competing civilizations. Upon this, the OOT fed, and waited. For it knew, soon the hour of reckoning would be at hand. For the One Post had been found

It came to the creature Totem, who used it to taunt the FFXIers into a frothy rage. They stormed the OOT and laid siege to it, and then the brutal truth was discovered, the OOTers had been subsisting on a steady diet of roasted forum trolls and lost newbies.

The FFXIers recoiled in horror, and went back to their forum. Some stayed on though. They deemed the original OOTers to be far too dangerous to exist in what they now considered to be their home. So the exiles were once again exiled to the New OOt forum, which was named the Asylum after “woogityville” was summarily rejected And we have been here ever since.
Meanwhile, deep in the heart of Servia, where all the forum servers live, the Server Which Shall Not Be Named, (a.k.a Cluster 7) decided that UBB code was Not Cool, and shant be allowed to run. It set upon an evil and vile course to slowly poison the UBB database. The Admins of the forum, whom by this time had multiplied, fought valliently to save the database, Especially the Paladin Danalog, who had much love and fondness for the UBB table structure, but alas, in the end, the table could not be saved, uttering it’s last dyeing gasp of “Suck it, cluster 7!” before passing onto the great beyond.
But fortune smiled on the forumites, for The Allakhazam had seen that the forums were starting to crumble and decay. So He in his Allakhazamyness persuaded The Illia to maketh a new forum. And it was so!
The Asylum continued on, growing in power and dread spiffyness, waiting for the one day when at last The One Post will again be visited upon the FFXi forum, for a new power rises in the east, the WoW forums. The FFXI posters now find themselves in the same boat as the original EQ posters, and are themselves outnumbered.
And so it continues to this day.
The end!

- I've always loved storytime

Kao always leaves out the part where he went to the different realms and asked ever so sweetly for fresh fodder even before the one post was made, and that the influx of said f'uckwits and morons necessitated the seperation of OOT & The Asylum. Let no revisionist history cloud your minds, children. Kao has some Anti-Christ in him.

Coming from you that almost means something, Aegis....almost.

Nonlinear...derm...Nancy sort of just "broke" one day. He wasn't all that bad of a poster, then Totem comes in and just screws up his psychy entirely.

After that, he trolled just about everywhere in Allakhazam. Even in his own journal.


On a side note, I still laugh at the fact that 10k posts is no match for the ratedowns you can get in the FFXI forums.

I would mention lefein for consideration, but of his 11k posts, I don't think he's had a hit yet.

There was that time when he had an absolute hissy fit over karma and was a complete vag on the feedback forum. That was quite memorable. Give credit where credit is due, that was a top tier internet crying session seldom equaled. (Though Jord from the WoW forums has tried repeatedly)

Edited, Fri Jan 27 13:44:12 2006 by bodhisattva

I bet I could guess