enjoy the laughter of Jewish BuddhismFollow

not ment in an ill spirit, just some of kind of funny so i figured id post them here for the rest of you to read.

laugh, dont flame. fyi, this was sent to me by a Jew:


Jewish Buddhism
the journey of a thousand miles begines with a single oy.

If you wish to know The Way, don't ask for directions. Argue.

Take only what is given. Own nothing but your robes and an alms bowl. Unless, of course, you have the closet space.

Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with posture like that.

There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?

Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

To proctice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking?

Learn of the pine from the pine. Learn of the bamboo from the bamboo. Learn of the kugel from the kugel.

side question, what is a Kugel???

Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perception. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.

If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the last of your problems.

The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao is not Jewish.

Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second, satisfaction. With the third, Danish.

The Buddha taught that one should practice loving-kindness to all sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens to be Jewish?

Be patient and achieve all things. Be impatient and acheive all things faster.

In nature, there is no good or bad, better or worse. The wind may blow or not. The flowering branch grows long or short. Do not judge or prefer. Ask only, "Is it good for the Jews?"

To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower flossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousands petals. You might want to see a specialist.

Be here now. Be somplace else later. Is that so complicated?

Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkes.


enjoy the laughs from a jewish friend of mine.

Edited, Mon May 3 12:11:21 2004 by Singdall

"Learn of the pine from the pine. Learn of the bamboo from the bamboo. Learn of the kugel from the kugel.

side question, what is a Kugel??? "

If I recall, kugel is a delicious casserol dish made with corn.