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#1 Apr 12 2004 at 1:42 PM Rating: Decent
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Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?"
Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."
Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"
Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh it's 6102049998-45-54610."
Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Email address is sheehan@home.net; which number are you calling from, sir?"
Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."
Customer: "The HSS?"
Operator: "Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to
your ordering time"
Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
Special pizzas."
Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
Operator: "Sir, your medical records and sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
Customer: "What?!?! What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."
Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local
library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family sized ones, then."
Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, and
your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99."
Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your
credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn as well.
Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How
long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes,
sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're outgetting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a Motorcycle can be a littleawkward."

Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday"

Customer: Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a
July 4, 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here on September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for! a free 2 liter of Coke."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!"



#2 Apr 12 2004 at 1:44 PM Rating: Default
omg!
#3 Apr 23 2004 at 11:38 PM Rating: Decent

















So, this shows that homeland security has gone a bit far, yes?
#4 Apr 24 2004 at 2:38 AM Rating: Decent
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1,246 posts
You should've stuck to Maccas Smiley: grin
#5 Apr 24 2004 at 1:45 PM Rating: Good
Official Shrubbery Waterer
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14,659 posts
This is about the time that I call my local congressman and verbally beat him over the head for invasion of privacy. Then I drive down to Pizza Hut and smack the guy taking my order and tell him to give me to friggin meat-lovers pizzas.

Ridiculous
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#6 Apr 24 2004 at 4:51 PM Rating: Decent
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1,166 posts
umm hmm,
and then Twiztid your existence is very quickly erased by Big Brother...or Kao.
ROFL
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#7 Apr 25 2004 at 9:29 PM Rating: Good
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Call PapaJohns
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