Jophiel...personal question...Follow

Nope. She never did see him around Christmas time. I got an email from her mother asking about him and saying she hoped he could come down soon, but until mommy dearest can get off her *** and make the effort herself, I don't see any reason to change my stance.

No real news on that front mainly because she hasn't done anything to make news. I guess I'll wait and see if she makes a token effort come March for his birthday.

She was never a model of motherhood, even when we were together. I did most of the work when he was a baby, so far as diapers, feeding and playing with him goes. Still, it was sad to see him try to get her attention because she's his mom and get rebuffed for it because she was too busy pissing away on the computer or something. She made some resistance when I was going to court for custody, but I honestly think that was more to spite me than a real desire to have him full time. I don't doubt if she did get him, her parents would be doing the actual work of raising him.

In a sense, I almost see it being better this way. She has a pretty minimal influence on him and he spends more time up here with family who show him love and support than to be with his mother and probably have to fight to get her sincere attention. It's a shame for certain, but it could be worse and I definately got the better end of the deal. Really, she's especially missing out now because when he starts school in the fall, there's only going to be less and less time to fit her in, particularly if he wants to play sports or whatever that might keep him away from visiting her for the entire summer.

Eh, maybe she wanted her freedom, but once you have a kid there's a thing called maturity which dictates that there's more important things now than what you want. It'd be easier on me to not have to raise him and it'd be a hell of a lot better on my social life to not have a four year old scampering about. But c'est la vie, you know? What I want, or what she wants, is no excuse to slack off on our obligation to the person we brought into the world.

Don't get me wrong, I don't regret having him in the least. It's not like I'm sitting around glaring at him and thinking I could be out on the town if not for him. I'm just making the point that maturity and obligation > personal wants and desires.

So, basically, I blame it on her being immature and selfish. There's really no nicer way to dress it up than that when you turn your back on your own child. Thanks for the kudos on raising him. Luckily, he's a good kid so he makes it fairly easy on me. I'm no super-parent by a long shot and if he was a "problem child", I might be in jail right now for locking him in the root cellar

Generalization Warning
Women want a guy who is good with kids. Just not someone else's kids

What's thirty-five pounds cost to FedEx from Chicago to Canada?

Seriously though, I admit it works from both ends. Children are the ultimate in "previous relationship baggage" and a lot of people, male and female, view that with slightly less enthusiasm than they would the plague.

Not everyone.

A lot of people would make horrible partners or mates.

It's the few that are the exceptions, and those exceptions just may view a man with a child as a bonus package.

Especially those who can't have kids.

Someone who views you as something with baggage (whether it's a child or something else) isn't worth your damn time anyway.

Hence the generalization warning

Right now I'm not even putting a token effort into finding the future Mrs Jophiel, so don't think this is the Jophiel Single Guy Pity Thread.. hehe. I got sidetracked from griping about the ex