Forum Settings
       
Reply To Thread

I guess this is the place for this.Follow

#1 Jan 15 2013 at 12:44 PM Rating: Good
Unforkgettable
*****
13,251 posts
So I was thinking about ex-girlfriends recently, and was remembering one in particular, who used to sing to me. I don't mean she was in school for voice or was practicing or anything. We'd be sitting on the couch, she'd lean in, and start whisper-singing a song to me. I guess she thought it was **** or some sh*t.

Anyway, how are you supposed to react? I mean, I'd have to turn to look at her, and then she's singing in my face. She didn't have bad breath, but I still don't like when someone is breathing/talking right in front of my nose; it's weird. And she wouldn't just sing like a hot little line, or a couple bars of a song. She'd sing the whole song. So then I'm sitting there, fake smile plastered to my face, wanting it to be over, not knowing what to do. Can she see me? Can't she see that I am not digging her poorly-voiced tunes? I wonder if she'd notice if I moved my eyes back to the TV screen. Should I take out my lighter and wave it back and forth? Oh god, I have to pee. Can I put her on hold and just go pee? "I'm sorry to interrupt your thrilling rendition of whatever top-40 love song garbage that is, but my bladder is about to explode." Too harsh? Is she still going? The second verse? Really? Two choruses and one verse just weren't enough? Maybe she thinks if she keeps going, I'll eventually get into it. Nod and smile. Nod and smile.

We were together for something like 5 months. I don't even know how. Why would anyone spend that amount of time with me and think that I would enjoy that, or know how to appropriately respond? And what is the appropriate response, anyhow?

I kind of feel bad blasting her for this, but it just seems so over-the-top ridiculous to me.

Edited, Jan 15th 2013 1:45pm by Spoonless
____________________________
Banh
#2 Jan 15 2013 at 12:50 PM Rating: Excellent
Avatar
*****
11,334 posts
Wait for the section just before the high notes then PIIHP.
____________________________
Shaowstrike (Retired - FFXI)
91PUP/BLM 86SMN/BST 76DRK
Cooking/Fishing 100


"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
#3 Jan 15 2013 at 12:51 PM Rating: Excellent
******
44,263 posts
Make like James Woods and punch her in the throat.
____________________________
George Carlin wrote:
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
#4 Jan 15 2013 at 1:01 PM Rating: Excellent
Meat Popsicle
*****
11,987 posts
Spoonless wrote:
And what is the appropriate response, anyhow?

***.

Tell her you heard her singing and lost all control. Be consistent about it and she'll stop singing so much; if not you probably won't care.
____________________________
That monster in the mirror, he just might be you. -Grover
#5 Jan 15 2013 at 1:04 PM Rating: Good
Unforkgettable
*****
13,251 posts
Smiley: lol
____________________________
Banh
#6 Jan 15 2013 at 2:13 PM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
Respond with The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#7 Jan 15 2013 at 2:22 PM Rating: Excellent
Repressed Memories
******
20,585 posts
Quote:
Anyway, how are you supposed to react?

"Please don't sing into my face."
#8 Jan 15 2013 at 2:29 PM Rating: Excellent
@#%^
*****
15,816 posts
Sneeze in her mouth while she's singing.
____________________________
"I have lost my way
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all **** for a basement"

#9 Jan 15 2013 at 2:31 PM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
Iamadam wrote:
Sneeze in her mouth while she's singing.

Or just blow air into it like when you're trying to **** off the cat.
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#10 Jan 15 2013 at 2:39 PM Rating: Excellent
Supreme Lionator
*****
14,174 posts
Duet, you fool.
____________________________
“Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.”
#11 Jan 15 2013 at 2:44 PM Rating: Decent
Encyclopedia
******
31,859 posts
Jophiel wrote:
Respond with The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.


We have a winnar! Oh wait! I like that song...
____________________________
King Nobby wrote:
More words please
#12 Jan 15 2013 at 2:53 PM Rating: Good
Did she do any sweet drum solos?
____________________________
Love,
PunkFloyd
#13 Jan 15 2013 at 3:03 PM Rating: Good
Insist she use your "conductor's baton" while singing.
____________________________
Allegory wrote:
Bijou your art is exceptionally creepy. It seems like their should be something menacing about it, yet no such tone is present.
#14 Jan 15 2013 at 3:08 PM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
PunkFloyd, King of Bards wrote:
Did she do any sweet drum solos?

Play the bongos on her boobs as she sings.
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#15 Jan 15 2013 at 3:36 PM Rating: Good
@#%^
*****
15,816 posts
PunkFloyd, King of Bards wrote:
Did she do any sweet drum solos?


Idiot.
____________________________
"I have lost my way
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all **** for a basement"

#16 Jan 15 2013 at 3:55 PM Rating: Good
Unforkgettable
*****
13,251 posts
Allegory wrote:
Quote:
Anyway, how are you supposed to react?

"Please don't sing into my face."
Smiley: laugh Fair enough.

I guess I should have asked her what she expected as a reaction, before we stopped talking and all. Mostly I'm wondering which of the lurkers here are facesingers.
____________________________
Banh
#17 Jan 15 2013 at 7:38 PM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
Spoonless wrote:
facesingers.


____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#18 Jan 15 2013 at 9:46 PM Rating: Decent
****
7,819 posts
I can't believe that you missed all the fun singing up to having *** with her? It's a natural progression!
____________________________
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v619/ImGatomon/Request.jpg

. “Power even if it is raw uncontrolled potential is just as dangerous as a trained assassin. It is unpredictable and deadly if your are not prepared." ~Gatomon From the story A Fox Among Wolves.
#19 Jan 15 2013 at 10:35 PM Rating: Excellent
**
493 posts
Spoonless wrote:
And what is the appropriate response, anyhow?

Motorboat.
/thread.
#20 Jan 15 2013 at 11:51 PM Rating: Good
Cervixhouse-Five
******
30,643 posts
Jophiel wrote:
PunkFloyd, King of Bards wrote:
Did she do any sweet drum solos?

Play the bongos on her boobs as she sings.


Wait. I'm supposed to start singing before my husband does this??
#21 Jan 16 2013 at 12:38 AM Rating: Good
******
27,272 posts
Belkira wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
PunkFloyd, King of Bards wrote:
Did she do any sweet drum solos?

Play the bongos on her boobs as she sings.


Wait. I'm supposed to start singing before my husband does this??
Depends on whether the drums or the vocals start first in whatever song you're doing.
____________________________
Theophany wrote:
YOU'RE AN ELITIST @#%^ AETHIEN, NO WONDER YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS AND PEOPLE HATE YOU.
someproteinguy wrote:
Aethien you take more terrible pictures than a Japanese tourist.
Astarin wrote:
One day, Maz, you'll learn not to click on anything Aeth links.
#22 Jan 16 2013 at 1:06 AM Rating: Excellent
Cervixhouse-Five
******
30,643 posts
His Excellency Aethien wrote:
Belkira wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
PunkFloyd, King of Bards wrote:
Did she do any sweet drum solos?

Play the bongos on her boobs as she sings.


Wait. I'm supposed to start singing before my husband does this??
Depends on whether the drums or the vocals start first in whatever song you're doing.


There's supposed to be a song...?
#23 Jan 16 2013 at 3:02 AM Rating: Good
*****
16,958 posts
I wish I was a facesinger Smiley: frown

I assume she was completely sober when she did this, in which case, get ******' drunk and see if it gets any less strange.
It should.
____________________________
MyAnimeList FFXIV Krystal Spoonless
#24 Jan 16 2013 at 7:46 AM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
Kirby the Eccentric wrote:
I assume she was completely sober when she did this, in which case, get @#%^in' drunk and see if it gets any less strange.
It should.

Or get wasted on a combination of mushrooms and cough syrup and see if it gets more strange...
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#25 Jan 16 2013 at 2:01 PM Rating: Decent
******
21,718 posts
I guess it would be different if they were sitting next to you on the couch, but I had a girl one time who was dancing for me and then a soft song came on and she sat down in my lap, wrapped her arms around my neck, put her head on my shoulder and started singing along with it. It was a nice change of pace and she didn't sound horrible. When I came to find out the song had a personal meaning to her, it was even hotter, I think.

It's an intimate moment, appropriately responded to with some sort of intimacy. While sitting on the couch? I'd suggest a simple caress of the hand or thigh to acknowledge the effort. No need to ignore her completely or break into a duet or anything.
____________________________
R.I.P. Jessica M. 5/3/2010
This post brought to you by Carl's Jr.
gbaji wrote:
You guys keep tossing facts out there like they mean something.


#26 Jan 16 2013 at 2:14 PM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
BrownDuck wrote:
I guess it would be different if they were sitting next to you on the couch, but I had a girl one time who was dancing for me and then a soft song came on and she sat down in my lap, wrapped her arms around my neck, put her head on my shoulder and started singing along with it.

So what's that run? An extra twenty?
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#27 Jan 16 2013 at 2:18 PM Rating: Excellent
******
27,272 posts
Belkira wrote:
His Excellency Aethien wrote:
Belkira wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
PunkFloyd, King of Bards wrote:
Did she do any sweet drum solos?

Play the bongos on her boobs as she sings.


Wait. I'm supposed to start singing before my husband does this??
Depends on whether the drums or the vocals start first in whatever song you're doing.


There's supposed to be a song...?
I sugest putting on the facepaint and doing your best Gene Simmons imitation as you sing I Was Made For Loving you while your husband does the drum parts on your boobs. It'll be glorious.
____________________________
Theophany wrote:
YOU'RE AN ELITIST @#%^ AETHIEN, NO WONDER YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS AND PEOPLE HATE YOU.
someproteinguy wrote:
Aethien you take more terrible pictures than a Japanese tourist.
Astarin wrote:
One day, Maz, you'll learn not to click on anything Aeth links.
#28 Jan 16 2013 at 3:42 PM Rating: Good
@#%^
*****
15,816 posts
Jophiel wrote:
BrownDuck wrote:
I guess it would be different if they were sitting next to you on the couch, but I had a girl one time who was dancing for me and then a soft song came on and she sat down in my lap, wrapped her arms around my neck, put her head on my shoulder and started singing along with it.

So what's that run? An extra twenty?


Dammit, I wanted to make a Stubbs/prostitute joke.
____________________________
"I have lost my way
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all **** for a basement"

#29 Jan 16 2013 at 5:44 PM Rating: Good
Supreme Lionator
*****
14,174 posts
Iamadam wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
BrownDuck wrote:
I guess it would be different if they were sitting next to you on the couch, but I had a girl one time who was dancing for me and then a soft song came on and she sat down in my lap, wrapped her arms around my neck, put her head on my shoulder and started singing along with it.

So what's that run? An extra twenty?


Dammit, I wanted to make a Stubbs/prostitute joke.


Is that a joke or just what he was talking about to begin with? I assumed the latter, but maybe I'm wrong.

I'm never wrong.
____________________________
“Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.”
#30 Jan 16 2013 at 9:56 PM Rating: Excellent
Tracer Bullet
*****
12,581 posts

In old movies, the male hero would just kiss the girl to make her shut up.

____________________________
Na Zdrowie
#31 Jan 17 2013 at 1:22 AM Rating: Good
Everyone's Oiran
Avatar
*****
15,923 posts
Or slap her. Heroes in movies were still slapping heroines across the face in anger in the 70's, and it was treated as just and righteous treatment of her for her arguing back, and nothing of note in the ongoing vastly romantic and fulfilling relationship.

My how times have changed. I just watched a clint Eastwood movie set in the civil war. Looked like a 70's production. He's stuck with a whimpery little girl while enemy soldiers are approaching. He asks her how old she is, and she tells him she's twelve, but she's turning 13 soon. "Old enough for kisses then" he says, then snogs her for 30 seconds on screen while the enemy soldiers pass by. No tongue. But a full on proper kiss. While this is probably an historically accurate social norm, I doubt they'd be solving the "noisy kid problem" in a contemporary script this way. O.o
____________________________
<3

http://www.reddit.com/r/Forum4/
#32 Jan 17 2013 at 8:10 AM Rating: Good
Ghost in the Machine
Avatar
******
36,183 posts
Depends.

If it was one of those independent and gritty war movies, he would have shot her and held her tight, as if kissing her (if the movie was French, he would have actually kissed her), while she bled out in his arms. If it was a Hollywood production, he would have shot all the enemy soldiers and a tank with his sidearm. From there, it could have taken one of two paths: 1) She gets hit by a stray bullet and dies in the hero's arms, creating an "oh, the irony!" sad ending. 2) He gets hit by a bullet and dies in her arms, relieved that he could trade his life for something meaningful after all. Classic bittersweet ending.

If it was a video game, there'd be three options to choose from, two of which lead to the same bittersweet ending and the last leading to a very ambiguous ending that requires a DLC to understand. There'd also be a prequel-sequel that would expand on the heroine's life up until the beginning of the first game.
____________________________
Please "talk up" if your comprehension white-shifts. I will use simple-happy language-words to help you understand.
#33 Jan 17 2013 at 8:14 AM Rating: Good
Avatar
*****
11,334 posts
Mazra wrote:
If it was a video game, there'd be three options to choose from, two of which lead to the same bittersweet ending and the last leading to a very ambiguous ending that requires a DLC to understand. There'd also be a prequel-sequel that would expand on the heroine's life up until the beginning of the first game.


Smiley: laugh Smiley: nod
____________________________
Shaowstrike (Retired - FFXI)
91PUP/BLM 86SMN/BST 76DRK
Cooking/Fishing 100


"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
#34 Jan 17 2013 at 1:39 PM Rating: Good
Skelly Poker Since 2008
*****
16,214 posts
Spoonless wrote:

Anyway, how are you supposed to react?
Was she hot and/or did she put out?

That is pretty weird. It would be like living in a bad off-broadway musical.
____________________________
Alma wrote:
Post and be happy!
#35 Jan 18 2013 at 1:56 AM Rating: Good
Everyone's Oiran
Avatar
*****
15,923 posts
Mazra wrote:
Depends.

If it was one of those independent and gritty war movies, he would have shot her and held her tight, as if kissing her (if the movie was French, he would have actually kissed her), while she bled out in his arms. If it was a Hollywood production, he would have shot all the enemy soldiers and a tank with his sidearm. From there, it could have taken one of two paths: 1) She gets hit by a stray bullet and dies in the hero's arms, creating an "oh, the irony!" sad ending. 2) He gets hit by a bullet and dies in her arms, relieved that he could trade his life for something meaningful after all. Classic bittersweet ending.

If it was a video game, there'd be three options to choose from, two of which lead to the same bittersweet ending and the last leading to a very ambiguous ending that requires a DLC to understand. There'd also be a prequel-sequel that would expand on the heroine's life up until the beginning of the first game.

Smiley: lol
Actually, the film turned out to be fascinating; strangely darkly humorous; gothic and morbid. I think the message of the story was "Everyone goes to moral **** in wartime".
____________________________
<3

http://www.reddit.com/r/Forum4/
Reply To Thread

Colors Smileys Quote OriginalQuote Checked Help

 

Recent Visitors: 37 All times are in CST
someproteinguy, Anonymous Guests (36)