Personally, I can't think of a good reason to go to a state where you're not wanted. Keep your money and life in places where you are. The others will wake up when they see themselves falling behind financially as a result. Or they won't and there'll be even less reason to ever go near the sh*t holes.
Speaking from experience, you can't always pick and choose where you want to live. Believe me, my family didn't pick to move to Tennessee because of the Crystal Gale commercials. My dad had a choice: unemployment or to go TN and work at Saturn. Being a high school graduate who only knew how to do what he was already doing, we didn't have a ton of choices. And we weren't wanted in TN, let me tell you. "Yankee, go home," was a pretty frequent phrase. One kid said to me, "Do you know the difference between a Yankee and a **** Yankee? **** Yankees don't leave." Everyone else on the bus thought it was hilarious, at least.
I agree with you in theory, but in practice... well.
It's great that these guys can get married in NY, but if they come to Tennessee, they're just another bunch of homos who have no rights and their marriage is invalid.
I'd have no trouble with a federal law requiring another state to honor a marriage from another state, so long as it wasn't because someone was taking up permanent residence and was just visiting.
I'm not 100% sure I understand what you mean about just visiting vs. taking up permanent residence. It seems to me that each state should recognize another state's legal marriages, no matter the reason that the couple is in that state.