I have never been more scaredFollow

All kidding aside, I finally went to a urologist after having a testicular torsion 17 years ago. Now, I don't know if any guys out there have ever gone through this but I can tell you it is the single most painful event a man can ever experience. Welp, my old man is cheap, so I just kind of dealt with it until now, when I thought I could just go in and get it taken care of. Turns out it's not that simple.

I visited with the Dr. and he told me I am going to require an Orchiopexy, an Orchiectomy, and finally a vasectomy. Just the doctor fees alone for this are $3000. I have to call the hospital this morning and get registered for the surgery. I have no idea how much this is going to be. Thankfully my work is totally cool and is letting me borrow the money I need for the operation.

Now, everything I have read so far says it is a fairly simple procedure but I have never been under the knife, ever. I have to get this fixed though. The big bummer is I take motrin everyday to get rid of the constant headaches I have and now I can't take that either.

I guess it was a birth defect. Turns out the ******** is supposed to be attached to the ******* and mine aren't. The Dr. said that if I don't get it fixed, there is a chance that the other one could torsion as well, requiring removal of both, along with my sex drive, and I would have to take testosterone for the rest of my life, which would suck. He said that he had a 72 year old patient torsion about a week ago. Let me tell you, if I was 72 and was suffering from a torsion, I would wrap my car around a tree to end the pain.

I guess on the upside, seeing as how it happened 17 years ago, it's not cancer, otherwise my *** would have been in a pine box years ago.

So, this sucks. I am really really scared.

Good luck with your balls.

Let's just hope the surgeon doesn't balls-up the operation.

So they are going to attach both your ********* to your *******, to anchor them properly?

Very, very good luck with healing well.

But what is with the headaches, as well? That's not something normal, that you should just be living with. Um, you do know that many types of painkillers cause headaches about 4-7 days after you take them, because the products they break down into as they are metabolised don't agree with the body?

Are they gonna insert a prosthetic ******** to help you keep balance? Your entire center of gravity changes when you lose one.

I had a tortion a few years back, the operation is painless. It may be a bit uncomfortable for a while after though. I agree with it being the most painful thing a guy can experience, I threw up quite a lot just because it hurt so much. There was one thing though, I woke up after the operation with no pubes, I felt like a 9 year old all over again.

Ew, I thought you only beat kids. That's sick.

She's trans, dingleberry. The poor girl had the misfortune of being born with a *****. She opted to have the berries removed ahead of the twig because she had a bad reaction to the meds they give to suppress testosterone.

WAY TO THINK OUTSIDE YOUR HETERONORMATIVE CISSEXUAL-PRIVILEGED WORLDVIEW, JEEZ!

Don't be silly, BT, he won't die on the operating table.

He'll just be half a man for all of his life.

Whatever makes you happy.

Then he notices that his *** and thighs are getting fat and wonders if he should go back to "Sweatin' to the Oldies".

If you're worried about not being able to take motrin then ask about tramadol. (sp?) My doc gave me that stuff after surgery because I couldn't take ibuprofen and it works ok.

Look here, Kavekk. I want to show you something.

Here is why you don't always want to appeal to the lowest common denominator and make the obvious joke. You just brought joy to a ******.