The MasonsFollow

Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do! We do!

It's the Stonecutters Song from a Simpsons episode. Probably not a great transatlantic reference, sorry.

A real Mason would not answer this horsesh*t poll.

I'm abstaining.

Edited, Apr 29th 2009 1:53pm by Kaelesh

A poll guaranteed to exclude the target demographic.

Gratz Jen!

I don't understand what the masons are or what they do. I worked with a guy when I was in college who had a big gold necklace with the mason's symbol as a pendant. I asked him what it meant and he got all furtive and wouldn't tell me. Said he couldn't talk about it.

Edit: Oh, I do know that Jack the Ripper was a mason. At least, that's what Johnny Depp has led me to believe.

Edited, Apr 29th 2009 1:58pm by Belkira

Isn't it all based on the Masons who built Solomon's Temple? I remember when I first found out there weren't literally all masons and it wasn't a union. I wondered why a group of masons would have so much power.

This is the thing I love most about them: they wear the ginormous Masonic bling that fairly screams "ASK ME ABOUT BEING A FREEMASON" and then when you do they're all "Oh, I couldn't possibly confirm nor deny my membership in that VERY SEKRIT AND COOL society."

Not all of them do it, damit.

The local Masonic Temple hires out meeting rooms that I use often. I love going there and seeing medical colleagues stepping out of rooms dressed like Harry Potter's costume wizard, catching my eye, then flitting back into the room.

I sometimes use their handshake with 'em to keep 'em wondering.

On the plus side, Freemasons are highly flammable.

Back when I did the computer repair gig at a local computer shop, I had a dude drop off his computer and brandish his ring with the compass and square in it at me. Then when I told him it was going to take 2-3 days for me to get to it, he threw out some hand signals. I started to explain to him that I was Toydarian, but didn't think he'd have caught the joke.
I found out recently that the guy who was the general manager of that store was a high ranking mason. May or may not have had something to do with it. Who knows.
Various members of my family were Masons. I remember my grandfather on my dad's side had a gold ring with a red stone. My greatgrandfather on my mom's mom's side had a REELY BEEG Mason ring with diamonds and stuff in it. I don't know if the type of ring even had anything to do with their standing.

My Ex boyfriends boss Mike is a mason. We didn't know much about it, other than that he, and his friend Melvin also, are masons . They're both stinking rich, Mike through vaing worked in the record industry in the 60's, and now running a pub as a hobby, and Melvin who used to be the queens train driver many years ago.

It came in handy though - we had a spot of bother with a neighbour harrassing us a couple of years ago.She'd asked us to babysit her dog while on holiday, and when she returned, she didn't want it back and stuck us with it . Since the dog was dangerous (no assumption on breed here, it had taken a couple of nips out of both me and my boyfriend) we called the animal shelter, who took it in , and looked after it, discovering several partially healed bones that led them to believe she'd been abusing the dog. She started a campaign of harrassment, throwing bricks at the windows, hurling abuse, and getting teenage friends of hers to beat up my ex.

Try as we might to go through the proper channels, nothing was being resolved by the police, or the local council. We purchased CCTV, it got cut down . As the neighbour was a mormon (I'm not tarring all mormons here - she definately wasn't doing it by the book), we even approached the Mormon church to see if they could intervene . They pretty much dismissed it as not their issue to deal with .

Mike got the then Chief Constable for Nottingham to phone us up and talk to us about the problem, and a couple of days later, he paid a personal visit to our home to talk about it further. As we talked through the actions we'd taken, including approaching the church, we found out that as well as being Police Chief Constable, and a mason, he was also a mormon .

He went away, and for a couple of days, we didn't hear anything . Then he turned up again, bringing in tow a couple of church official (I'm not sure what the correct term is for them) and went to my neighbours house . I'm not too sure what was said in there , between the police and her church elders, but about an hour later, she came round and apologised to us. A week or so later, we also recieved a new CCTV camera through the post, anonymously, although I can only assume it came from the masons .

I don't know what they do in their meetings, I don't know whats with the funny robes, or the symbolism, but I do know that having a mason as a friend is pretty useful, they get **** done .

They've also paid for my ex's back operation to be done privately as waiting on the NHS would have taken two years .

I'm not only the Mason president, I'm also a member.

We're a fairly secretive society, our meetings generally involve Scrabble tournaments or sometimes karaoke if the machine's working.