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I'm at work. Eric the 500 pound plus dispatcher, I think might be dead. He's laying in his plus sized chair kind of slouched backwards and his head is off to the right. I can't see him breathing and he smells like urine. But that's from his adult elephant sized diaper. Do I yell his name to see if I get a response or do I actually walk over to the cubicle of human ***** and check on him?
Yell, if he doesn't answers, go poke him.
Call 911
Ok he just did the fat guy cough. I think he's just sleeping.
Throw a stapler at him. Always does the trick...
Duke Ikkian wrote:
Yell, if he doesn't answers, go poke him.
Poke him with a stick though...not your finger. He might wake up and think its a twinky.
Things I sometimes play...
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"I want to be a unicorn!"
"Awww, why's that?"........
"So I can stab people with my face."
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"I want to be a unicorn!"
"Awww, why's that?"........
"So I can stab people with my face."
I'm not kidding when I say he is over five hundred pounds. He seriously has his very own plus sized chair. It's massive. The guy has been sent home before because he shat himself and didn't realize it. Nasty business. Which leads me to another question.
Being that heavy he has a myriad of health problems. Now if you were working in HR and he came in for an interview would you hire this man full well knowing he is on the fast track for a heart attack amongst other things?
Being that heavy he has a myriad of health problems. Now if you were working in HR and he came in for an interview would you hire this man full well knowing he is on the fast track for a heart attack amongst other things?
Dammit Dyadem, I just spit coffee all over the screen there. 
Princess Dyadem wrote:
Duke Ikkian wrote:
Yell, if he doesn't answers, go poke him.
Poke him with a stick though...not your finger. He might wake up and think its a twinky.
I wish I was that big.
Then no mofos would be messin wit me yo.
Then no mofos would be messin wit me yo.
remorajunbao, Immortal Lion wrote:
I wish I was that big.
Then no mofos would be messin wit me yo.
Then no mofos would be messin wit me yo.
Duke Ikkian wrote:
remorajunbao, Immortal Lion wrote:
I wish I was that big.
Then no mofos would be messin wit me yo.
Then no mofos would be messin wit me yo.
Seriously think you could outrun a fat man rolling down hill?
remorajunbao, Immortal Lion wrote:
Duke Ikkian wrote:
remorajunbao, Immortal Lion wrote:
I wish I was that big.
Then no mofos would be messin wit me yo.
Then no mofos would be messin wit me yo.
Seriously think you could outrun a fat man rolling down hill?
Duke Ikkian wrote:
remorajunbao, Immortal Lion wrote:
Duke Ikkian wrote:
remorajunbao, Immortal Lion wrote:
I wish I was that big.
Then no mofos would be messin wit me yo.
Then no mofos would be messin wit me yo.
Seriously think you could outrun a fat man rolling down hill?
I'll be so fat, you'll have to run sideways for about 5 minutes to be able to get out of the way.
remorajunbao, Immortal Lion wrote:
Duke Ikkian wrote:
remorajunbao, Immortal Lion wrote:
Duke Ikkian wrote:
remorajunbao, Immortal Lion wrote:
I wish I was that big.
Then no mofos would be messin wit me yo.
Then no mofos would be messin wit me yo.
Seriously think you could outrun a fat man rolling down hill?
I'll be so fat, you'll have to run sideways for about 5 minutes to be able to get out of the way.
Duke Ikkian wrote:
remorajunbao, Immortal Lion wrote:
Duke Ikkian wrote:
remorajunbao, Immortal Lion wrote:
Duke Ikkian wrote:
remorajunbao, Immortal Lion wrote:
I wish I was that big.
Then no mofos would be messin wit me yo.
Then no mofos would be messin wit me yo.
Seriously think you could outrun a fat man rolling down hill?
I'll be so fat, you'll have to run sideways for about 5 minutes to be able to get out of the way.
and annoying avatars are camped in this thread. yay.
Arch Duke Kaolian Drachensborn, lvl 95 Ranger, Unrest Server
Tech support forum | FAQ (Support) | Mobile Zam: http://m.zam.com (Premium only)
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Put it this way, I'd be so big, that when I sat around your house, I'd literally sit around your house. And it would probably get stuck.
And then years later scientists would wonder what would happen if they removed the house from where it was stuck.
So what they did, was train 100 monkeys to pull the house out on demand. So the fateful day came, and one scientist stood 1 mile away, with a pair of binoculars, one scientist stood 5 miles away, and the last scientist stood 10 miles away. The time came and the 10 mile away scientist saw a giant brown explosion in the direction of RJ, and suddenly he was ankle deep in poo. He began to walk forward, and 5 miles later, found the second scientist, waist deep in the stuff. They both wade on for another 4 miles to find the first scientist neck deep in poo, laughing harder than anyone has ever laughed before.
Later on when the scientist has finally calmed down, the other two ask him what the hell was so funny, and all he could say was; "You should have seen the monkeys trying to put the house back in"
badum psh
And then years later scientists would wonder what would happen if they removed the house from where it was stuck.
So what they did, was train 100 monkeys to pull the house out on demand. So the fateful day came, and one scientist stood 1 mile away, with a pair of binoculars, one scientist stood 5 miles away, and the last scientist stood 10 miles away. The time came and the 10 mile away scientist saw a giant brown explosion in the direction of RJ, and suddenly he was ankle deep in poo. He began to walk forward, and 5 miles later, found the second scientist, waist deep in the stuff. They both wade on for another 4 miles to find the first scientist neck deep in poo, laughing harder than anyone has ever laughed before.
Later on when the scientist has finally calmed down, the other two ask him what the hell was so funny, and all he could say was; "You should have seen the monkeys trying to put the house back in"
badum psh
"Fast Track to a Heart Attack" seems like it should be a song.
Ikkian change back to brown duck avatar, seriously.
Rape
"I have lost my way
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement"
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement"
Master Araxius wrote:
Ikkian change back to brown duck avatar, seriously.
Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
and annoying avatars are camped in this thread. yay.
Fat people my size make me ******* sick, I can walk around in society as a bathed, non-offensive, and honestly not breathing like I ran a marathon all the while my arms look like a god damn penguins, what the **** is these peoples problems!?
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