Intimacy (Gay Thread, sorta)Follow

Kissing on the lips is something I consider very intimate. I probably wouldn't kiss a guy on the first date unless I really felt we were connecting somehow. But if I sorta liked him, I'd give him a little peck. French kissing, however, is something I won't even consider unless I really like someone. And I'd never have sex with a guy unless I loved him.

But different people are different. And BT might just be right about the position that guys take when having sex, so that might play a big part in it.

What I find the most interesting is that you called him your boyfriend. The title implies that the two of you have been intimate for quite a while... At least it would for me. If he's so in to you that he doesn't mind being called your boyfriend, then I would think that he should be totally into kissing by now.

Then you really need to sit down and have a talk to find out where you stand.

QFMFT

...so is it wrong that I'd probably continue seeing him just for the sex? I am shallow enough that I dont mind a loveless relationship that is only dealing with the physical, as long as I know thats all it will be. I guess we'll see what happens.

Then again, maybe this is going to be good for me, sort of like a test to see if I'm really ready for something that will last longer then 4 months. (To date, I've never lasted in a relationship longer then that...I think I like to see men cry when I tell them I dont feel anything for them).

I think ol' has hit the nail on the head.

Don't expect me to be exclusive if you're not going to let me be as intimate with you as I could be with someone else.

Thank you, Dyadem. I appreciate the compliment.

Look at this face
I know the years are showin
Look at this life
I still dont know where its goin

I dont know much
But I know I love you
And that may be
All I need to know

Wow, BT actually made a serious post that was not laced with borderline pornographic references.

While I am late to the party Dya, let me give you my two cents:

It really depends on the why behind the refusal. Normally, the value placed on a certain act comes from our upbringing. Sometimes a kiss is just the act of sucking face for all the pleasurable experiences. Other times it is reserved for that one special person. From what he said, it seems he is more the latter type.

I'm not sure who's pitching and who's catching on your two-man team so far, but really I'd sit him down and ask for an explanation. He wants you to call him your boyfriend, a normally reserved title for a committed, intimate relationship, then turns around and says he doesn't know you well enough to suck face.

I don't know if anyone here reads Savage Love, But I'm stealing some common advice of his:

If your Lips-On-****-But-Not-On-Mine boytoy wannabe boyfriend is not giving you the hot cherry stem twisting tonsil hockey your lips and groin want from him, confront him and get it out there. If it really is a massive issue, and it seems it is by your need to post this, then it's time to DTMFA (dump the ************* already) and find some face-sucking from a partner more willing to commit to you.

I heard a about a poll done about kissing on the Radio and it indead stated that Kissing is viewed as more intimate than the act of Sex itself.

Apperently even most Prostitutes do not kiss whomever they are ******** for money, it is something reserved only for their special man/woman.

Edited for Kaain's sake...

Edited, Nov 5th 2007 1:52pm by Caldone

Does he have issues with being gay? As a firmly heterosexual man, and if I were to have to either have gay sex with some guy - or kiss him...I might actually choose the former, provided I didn't have to put my mouth anywhere and I didn't have to look at him.

Or by the same token, people can be in a relationship for years and have problems talking about sex. Talking about it is more intimate than doing it?

But that's even sillier!

I am serious relationship material because I am always willing to talk about all manner of sex acts.