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#77 Oct 19 2007 at 6:53 AM Rating: Good
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Samira wrote:
remorajunbao, Immortal Lion wrote:
Don't go on drugs Gman, because even though you think you are happy when you are on them, the problems will still be there if/when you come off them. I've never found anti-depressants to be a cure but more of just a cover up of the problems that makes everyone think you are ok when really you aren't.


Well, I think you use the AD drugs in order to work on your problems, rather than as a substitute for working on your problems.

Dunno, I've never been depressed, but that's what makes sense to me.
Oh I'm sure they work for some people, they just didn't for me, even though I tried working on the problems.

Turns out I just had to deal with it.. lol.

I just don't like AD drugs and I think they should only ever be used as a complete and utter last resort.
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#78 Oct 19 2007 at 6:55 AM Rating: Good
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Galkaman isn't ugly. I've seen the pictures. He's good lookin'.

Rejection is never easy, but you've got to suck it up.

This is going to sound all sappy, but my roomate in college used to get all depressed about not having a boyfriend. She was asking me one night, "You're so happy, why can't I be happy, too?!"

I told her that I honestly believe that there is someone out there for everyone. You have to look at what happens to you before you meet them as a molding period to make you who you will be when you finally meet them.

Galka, what you're going through is going to change you. Everything that we go through changes us. Think of this as life's way of making you the man that your significant other is going to need one day.
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#79 Oct 19 2007 at 7:05 AM Rating: Good
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The bittersweet irony in all this is that somewhere there's a girl right now looking for a guy just like Galka, but they're both so busy tearing themselves down they've probably walked right past each other.

Hugh Grant will play you in the movie.
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#80 Oct 19 2007 at 7:08 AM Rating: Excellent
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Samira wrote:
The bittersweet irony in all this is that somewhere there's a girl right now looking for a guy just like Galka, but they're both so busy tearing themselves down they've probably walked right past each other.

Hugh Grant will play you in the movie.


Haha, qft. But honestly I know how you feel, just try to go out if possible and flash a smile at a few new girlies. Its a good way to get out of a slump like that.

Edited, Oct 19th 2007 11:09am by Blacktuesday
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#81 Oct 19 2007 at 7:09 AM Rating: Good
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Samira wrote:
The bittersweet irony in all this is that somewhere there's a girl right now looking for a guy just like Galka, but they're both so busy tearing themselves down they've probably walked right past each other.

Hugh Grant will play you in the movie.


So you're saying Galka needs to look for a Drew Barrymore?
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#82 Oct 19 2007 at 7:10 AM Rating: Good
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Althrun wrote:
Samira wrote:
The bittersweet irony in all this is that somewhere there's a girl right now looking for a guy just like Galka, but they're both so busy tearing themselves down they've probably walked right past each other.

Hugh Grant will play you in the movie.


So you're saying Galka needs to look for a Drew Barrymore?


Sure!
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#83 Oct 19 2007 at 7:11 AM Rating: Excellent
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Taking ownership of the problem rather then blaming external sources would be a big step in the right direction. Unless you have an actual chemical imbalance, which it certainly doesn't sound like, you're not clinically depressed and have no need for corrective medication.

Skipping over responses, I'd wager that with my limited knowledge of the situation that your problem is cyclical. You say you have no confidence. This is a choice. You say that you are often depressed after being rejected, and that you like women to be friends before romantic interests. I would imagine that this leads to you engaging friends in conversations about your rejections and corresponding feelings. These women then see you as being an emo basketcase but are sympathetic to your feelings as friends only. You then become interested in them, because you like sympathy. They still want a guy that isn't an emo basketcase and reject you as a romantic partner.

Rinse, repeat.

Be insulted if you like, but as soon as you realize that you are your own worst enemy here, the sooner you can get what you want.

Nexa
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#84 Oct 19 2007 at 7:11 AM Rating: Good
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Hot young Drew Barrymore, the one that flashed her tits to Dave Letterman on the Late Show or older less attractive barrymore ala Charlies Angels Two?

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#85 Oct 19 2007 at 7:15 AM Rating: Good
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Archfiend bodhisattva wrote:
Hot young Drew Barrymore, the one that flashed her tits to Dave Letterman on the Late Show or older less attractive barrymore ala Charlies Angels Two?



To each his own.
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#86 Oct 19 2007 at 7:18 AM Rating: Good
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I'd settle with sweet and cute Barrymore in the wedding singer, tbh
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#87 Oct 19 2007 at 7:19 AM Rating: Excellent
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Nexa wrote:
Taking ownership of the problem rather then blaming external sources would be a big step in the right direction. Unless you have an actual chemical imbalance, which it certainly doesn't sound like, you're not clinically depressed and have no need for corrective medication.

Skipping over responses, I'd wager that with my limited knowledge of the situation that your problem is cyclical. You say you have no confidence. This is a choice. You say that you are often depressed after being rejected, and that you like women to be friends before romantic interests. I would imagine that this leads to you engaging friends in conversations about your rejections and corresponding feelings. These women then see you as being an emo basketcase but are sympathetic to your feelings as friends only. You then become interested in them, because you like sympathy. They still want a guy that isn't an emo basketcase and reject you as a romantic partner.

Rinse, repeat.

Be insulted if you like, but as soon as you realize that you are your own worst enemy here, the sooner you can get what you want.

Nexa


As much as I'd like to deny this, this @#%^ing sound advice as well.

+When you start to date a girl, if you take the viewpoint you seem to have, it also makes you start off dates (and conversations and such) way too serious. It doesn't matter if you look like brad pitt, if you come across too serious right off that bat 80% of women are just going to not want to date you.

To state it this way, if your gonna date someone, flatter them to hell, smile, and then act like you don't give a sh*t if they reject you or not. If you can't pull this off you'll have trouble getting dates period. If you don't have it, you can develop it. I've seen seriously ugly overweight jackasses with no personality guys do this and get dates easy.

just my 2 cents though.

Edited, Oct 19th 2007 11:20am by Blacktuesday
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#88 Oct 19 2007 at 7:20 AM Rating: Excellent
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Programming is a good way to take you mind off things. (Cure Dana with the more you know speech).

Samira wrote:
The bittersweet irony in all this is that somewhere there's a girl right now looking for a guy just like Galka, but they're both so busy tearing themselves down they've probably walked right past each other.

Hugh Grant will play you in the movie.


Probably. My life in particular loves to be ironic like that. However, I try to keep an eye out and I've not seen anybody.

Althrun wrote:
So you're saying Galka needs to look for a Drew Barrymore?


Well, if I have to. Compromises must be made.

bhodisvatta wrote:

Seriously though, the forum rule 126 states "Thou shalt not be more emo than Bodhi". Suck it up or end it, you whiny c'unt.


End...?

Belkira wrote:
Galka, what you're going through is going to change you. Everything that we go through changes us. Think of this as life's way of making you the man that your significant other is going to need one day.


That's what I tell myself too. For the last fourteen years in fact, my motto has been "next year will be better." Also, "people are ******* retarded".

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Don't go on drugs Gman, because even though you think you are happy when you are on them, the problems will still be there if/when you come off them.


I'm sure I'll eventually come to terms with my confidence and other issues. And ignorance is bliss, yes? I think I'm happy, therefore I am.

I'll see what my GP recommends.

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#89 Oct 19 2007 at 7:22 AM Rating: Good
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Nexa and Tuesday make excellent points. If you come across as too emo at the outset, you're setting yourself up for either failure, or a relationship with a clingy nurturer who loves taking care of crippled puppies.

The problem with that type is, they sometimes take measures to make sure the puppy stays crippled.

Be a little mysterious. Don't blat out your whole lonesome sad story to every girl you meet. When the question comes up, smile and shrug a little.

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#90 Oct 19 2007 at 7:22 AM Rating: Excellent
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GP? What's that, general physician or something? If that's the case, be prepared to be put on meds, they tend to overprescribe...especially if you're already seeing a therapist because they can be confidant that someone will be monitoring your reaction in a way that they're not qualified to do. If they want to put you on meds, see a psychiatrist for a second opinion.

Nexa
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#91 Oct 19 2007 at 7:24 AM Rating: Excellent
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Nexa wrote:
Taking ownership of the problem rather then blaming external sources would be a big step in the right direction. Unless you have an actual chemical imbalance, which it certainly doesn't sound like, you're not clinically depressed and have no need for corrective medication.

Skipping over responses, I'd wager that with my limited knowledge of the situation that your problem is cyclical. You say you have no confidence. This is a choice. You say that you are often depressed after being rejected, and that you like women to be friends before romantic interests. I would imagine that this leads to you engaging friends in conversations about your rejections and corresponding feelings. These women then see you as being an emo basketcase but are sympathetic to your feelings as friends only. You then become interested in them, because you like sympathy. They still want a guy that isn't an emo basketcase and reject you as a romantic partner.

Rinse, repeat.

Be insulted if you like, but as soon as you realize that you are your own worst enemy here, the sooner you can get what you want.

Nexa


I know I am. However, I have been clinically depressed before and this shows all the symptoms again. Hopefully it was just a negative view of it I took last night, and it may pass. Fingers crossed.

As to the rest of it, probably accurate. I'll be more macho. Grr. And I'm not insulted, I'm actually surprised that this rose into actual helpful advice, after my silly rant.
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#92 Oct 19 2007 at 7:25 AM Rating: Excellent
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Samira wrote:
Nexa and Tuesday make excellent points. If you come across as too emo at the outset, you're setting yourself up for either failure, or a relationship with a clingy nurturer who loves taking care of crippled puppies.


The worst part of this is that he may think he likes a clingy nurturer, and she may think she likes crippled puppies...for a while. Then the romantic love phase ends. He's confidant with her now, and doesn't need the nurturing and feels suffocated. She's tired of his emo ********* but doesn't know how to let go.

It's as close to classic as marital therapy case studies get.

Nexa
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#93 Oct 19 2007 at 7:26 AM Rating: Good
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ITT: I steal another girl away from yet another pathetic loser just to empty my sack and leave her on the curb.


Smiley: waycool

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#94 Oct 19 2007 at 7:26 AM Rating: Good
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Nexa wrote:
Samira wrote:
Nexa and Tuesday make excellent points. If you come across as too emo at the outset, you're setting yourself up for either failure, or a relationship with a clingy nurturer who loves taking care of crippled puppies.


The worst part of this is that he may think he likes a clingy nurturer, and she may think she likes crippled puppies...for a while. Then the romantic love phase ends. He's confidant with her now, and doesn't need the nurturing and feels suffocated. She's tired of his emo bullsh*t, but doesn't know how to let go.

It's as close to classic as marital therapy case studies get.

Nexa


Hence my next comment in that same post!
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#95 Oct 19 2007 at 7:26 AM Rating: Good
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Samira wrote:


The problem with that type is, they sometimes take measures to make sure the puppy stays crippled.


You're saying he'll end up with Kathy Bates?!?!?
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#96 Oct 19 2007 at 7:28 AM Rating: Excellent
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Galkaman wrote:
And anyway, I still love her (not in love love, just love).


Please tell me you're not saying this to them though? It's one thing if you're in a relationship to drop that, but as friends not yet dating, never a good idea regardless of how its meant to be said.
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#97 Oct 19 2007 at 7:29 AM Rating: Excellent
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Galkaman wrote:
Nexa wrote:
Taking ownership of the problem rather then blaming external sources would be a big step in the right direction. Unless you have an actual chemical imbalance, which it certainly doesn't sound like, you're not clinically depressed and have no need for corrective medication.

Skipping over responses, I'd wager that with my limited knowledge of the situation that your problem is cyclical. You say you have no confidence. This is a choice. You say that you are often depressed after being rejected, and that you like women to be friends before romantic interests. I would imagine that this leads to you engaging friends in conversations about your rejections and corresponding feelings. These women then see you as being an emo basketcase but are sympathetic to your feelings as friends only. You then become interested in them, because you like sympathy. They still want a guy that isn't an emo basketcase and reject you as a romantic partner.

Rinse, repeat.

Be insulted if you like, but as soon as you realize that you are your own worst enemy here, the sooner you can get what you want.

Nexa


I know I am. However, I have been clinically depressed before and this shows all the symptoms again. Hopefully it was just a negative view of it I took last night, and it may pass. Fingers crossed.

As to the rest of it, probably accurate. I'll be more playfulmacho. Grr. And I'm not insulted, I'm actually surprised that this rose into actual helpful advice, after my silly rant.


And no problem honestly, I get along better with guys than girls anyways, so I tend to get asked about dating advice a lot.

One last thing, you said you were keeping an eye out for girls that you thought we're your type or whatever.

You really can't tell that till you date them, believe me.
So you have to just ask girls you think are cute (and match some very primitive dating criteria) hang out with them, then see if they actually match up.
Only way to do it.
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#98 Oct 19 2007 at 7:30 AM Rating: Excellent
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Galkaman wrote:
bhodisvatta wrote:

Seriously though, the forum rule 126 states "Thou shalt not be more emo than Bodhi". Suck it up or end it, you whiny c'unt.


End...?


I refer you back to my first post.

Sh'it sucks sometimes, and yeah it feels good to feel sorry for yourself from time to time. I indulged in a cry~sterbate thread when the girl I had been dating for 3 years and who I was about to propose to (and move across the country with) told me she didn't love me and ended it on the spot. If I hadn't I wouldn't have lived up to being the Drama Nerdvana!

Truth be told I sucked it up, found a new apartment, went out and enjoyed being a bachelor. Grow up, move on, have fun. It is a hella lot more fun than sitting alone and feeling sorry for yourself because you got dumped or things didn't work out. That sh'it might fly if you are 16 and it is your first big relationship, but if you are older you should be over that sh'it by now.
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#99 Oct 19 2007 at 7:32 AM Rating: Excellent
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*hugs*
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#100 Oct 19 2007 at 7:32 AM Rating: Good
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Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
Galkaman wrote:
And anyway, I still love her (not in love love, just love).


Please tell me you're not saying this to them though? It's one thing if you're in a relationship to drop that, but as friends not yet dating, never a good idea regardless of how its meant to be said.
Aux contriare!

It's a great idea to say to a really hot lesbian man-hater chick best friend when she is riding your **** during some seriously angry sex. That's when you can have a platonic "love" relationship with fringe benefits.
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#101 Oct 19 2007 at 7:37 AM Rating: Good
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Blacktuesday wrote:
One last thing, you said you were keeping an eye out for girls that you thought we're your type or whatever.

You really can't tell that till you date them, believe me.


From the other perspective though, you can date girls and find out a certain type doesn't work for you. Of course, you could be like me and believe that that isn't true and that you're just meeting the wrong girl in that type and just keep getting raked over the coals everytime.
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