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All pets go to heaven.Follow

#1 Sep 08 2009 at 12:06 PM Rating: Excellent
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  • All pets are equal--the only difference is that some are prettier than others. You should always choose the best-looking pet you can find, and you get bonus points if it matches your armor/hair/eyeshadow.

  • Don't use a wolf, though. Only sheeple tame wolves. Stop trying so hard to conform!

  • Your pet can be as strong or wimpy as you like. To help your pet do better in a fight, set him to Aggressive! Passive is for pussies.

  • Hunters can't tame their own mounts. This is horribly unfair, and you should make a new post about it daily. Try changing your titles around to get more replies--if "aww I wanna tame a unicorn" doesn't get enough attention, "GG BLIZZ U RUNED MYE GAM FUUUUUUUU" definitely will!

  • You can't tame a dragon either. But Blizzard might change their mind if you post about it, especially if you post in the Mage class forums. Those guys don't really know what Hunters can and can't tame, so you'll get tons of support. Easy, huh?

  • You are always a girl, and if anyone disagrees with you (or worse, gives you advice), they are "just bein so meen! *cries*". Remember to /flirt with everyone, otherwise no one will believe you! Talking about your boobs helps too--if you're not sure what size to say, just pick a number and a letter! Remember, smaller numbers and bigger letters are the way to go. 34A is pretty fail, go for 12ZZ instead!

  • In a group setting you may be asked to use certain abilities. Here is a quick explanation of a few: "Misdirection" is a tool to help lazy tanks. If someone asks you to use it, ignore him. "CC" stands for cottage cheese, it is a random word like bacon and means nothing. "Trap" means they are questioning whether you are really a girl IRL--usually a simple "ofcourse I'm a gurl sillykins *giggles*" should suffice. "Pull" means that instead of killing the closest monsters you should start with those furthest away. Finally, "ninja" is a way of saying someone is really skilled, like Naruto. Pretty cool, huh?

  • When it comes time to roll on loot, just click Need--it will give the loot to whoever needs it most, so it's totally fair. Anything you can equip is fair game--the loot genie wouldn't give it to you if you didn't really need it. Also, while a lot of people will tell you that Hunters don't melee--they're wrong, though. After all, Hunters can equip almost any kind of melee weapon! (Just use Raptor Strike every couple of minutes and be sure to spam wing clip, and you'll be doing great!) So be sure to roll on all weapons, not just bows--you need that sword as much as anyone else.

  • Speaking of bows, as a Hunter that's really all you should be using. It's not like Legolas ever used a gun, right? If your race doesn't start out with bows trained, just melee until you can find the right weapons trainer. Remember: Guns are noisy and ugly and unsportsmanlike--a real Hunter should never, ever use one. Reprimand any Hunters you see using guns, especially Dwarves. Tip: Calling them "huntards" is a great way to get them to see things your way!

  • The cookie-cutter talent trees always put points into at least two trees. Those specs are for noobs who don't want to use their brains, though. A really ninja-awesome hunter puts points into ALL THREE. This will give you a great pet, powerful attacks, and great melee. Bear in mind though, its not where you spend the points that determines skill, its how many points you have left after learning each tree. One point per tree should be sufficient.

  • Shot rotation means using your keys to turn in a circle every time you use Arcane Shot or Serpent Sting. It's supposed to make your damage go up, but it's not really worth the extra effort. If someone asks you about your rotation, just call him a noob. He will appreciate your brutal honesty. Shot priority means that you always need to be the first one to attack a monster. If someone asks what your shot priority is, he's trying to find out if he can get away with attacking first. Do not let this happen! Immediately shoot the nearest monster or enemy player. If there are no enemies nearby, say "ohno rouge" and feign death until your interrogater loses interest. This simple incantation can get you out of many sticky situations!

  • DPS numbers are important, but even as a totally awesome hunter some classes (like mages, protection paladins, and priests who turn into blue ladies) will always score higher than you. Don't worry, though, other more experienced Hunters already have all of the answers! Feel free to share one or more of these with your group. 1: LAGGG. Laggg is the ancient force of evil giving power to every boss in Azeroth. He especially hates Hunters because they are attuned to nature and will someday, thanks to your efforts, be able to tame dragons. 2: Pet bugged out. Fleas can adversely affect any Hunter's performance, and it's not like there's a pet spa anywhere. 3: OMG GF aggro! This clever comment will stun the group that already believes you are female, and give you plenty of time to start your shot priority on the next monster. 3b: LOL jk its just my twin sister, sorry guys ;). A useful follow-up to number 3. 4: Say nothing, and stand still for a few minutes. This period of meditation will help you gather your ninja energy, and most groups will forget all about the DPS meters by the time you rejoin them. 5: If you already have everything you need from the instance, hearth out and give someone else a chance at the last boss. This show of courtesy will distract anyone from your poor performance, and you'll have your good deed of the day covered for the next week!

  • If Hunter is not for you (seriously, you wolf-lovers, just get out of here) don't despair! There are still many other, lesser classes available to you, such as Rogue, Warrior, or Kobold NPC. Keep trying and follow your heart!
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    #2 Sep 08 2009 at 1:07 PM Rating: Excellent
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    Quote:
    If there are no enemies nearby, say "ohno rouge" and feign death until your interrogater loses interest.
    Smiley: lolSmiley: laughSmiley: lolSmiley: laugh
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    #3 Sep 09 2009 at 12:17 AM Rating: Good
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    Quote:
    Laggg is the ancient force of evil giving power to every boss in Azeroth. He especially hates Hunters because they are attuned to nature and will someday, thanks to your efforts, be able to tame dragons.


    Made me LOL. Half the people in the office now looking up and wondeing why... :)
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    Trollatusk Lvl80 Hunter (Main)
    Fleshwall Lvl80 Tank
    Dwarfchapke Lvl70 Hunter
    #4 Sep 09 2009 at 5:17 AM Rating: Excellent
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    Quote:
    "CC" stands for cottage cheese, it is a random word like bacon and means nothing.

    Bacon is always meaningful.
    #5 Sep 11 2009 at 11:32 AM Rating: Excellent
    Lady isyris wrote:
    2: Pet bugged out. Fleas can adversely affect any Hunter's performance, and it's not like there's a pet spa anywhere.


    Smiley: laugh
    #6 Sep 18 2009 at 1:42 AM Rating: Good
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    Your use of language will keep you from true internetz fame. Hurtards needz a tru kindred spirit like Alamo

    Edited, Sep 18th 2009 2:43am by alcattle
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    Alcattle 80 NE Hunter

    Deadcattle 80 Gnome Death Knight
    #7 Sep 18 2009 at 2:02 AM Rating: Excellent
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    alcattle wrote:
    Your use of language will keep you from true internetz fame. Hurtards needz a tru kindred spirit like Alamo

    Edited, Sep 18th 2009 2:43am by alcattle


    but Pike haz alredy dun that 1. Smiley: frown
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    #8 Sep 21 2009 at 12:13 AM Rating: Good
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    Thanks for that linkie. Needs to be continued by da goodes huntar we is here, so pepls no whne to play dead and shootz lotta shotz at one. me only knew huntar and never see raidz.
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    Alcattle 80 NE Hunter

    Deadcattle 80 Gnome Death Knight
    #9 Sep 21 2009 at 1:13 AM Rating: Excellent
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    isyris wrote:
    If someone asks you about your rotation, just call him a noob. He will appreciate your brutal honesty.


    Smiley: lol Oh, isyris, why must you torment my belly so? It hurts from laughing so hard now.
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    #10 Sep 22 2009 at 1:39 AM Rating: Excellent
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    I had a great laugh at this. But I was a little surprised there hasn't been a reply yet from the one person in the forums that doesn't realize this isnt meant to be serious. I'll have to wait until that reply comes to get the remainder of the fun.
    #11 Sep 23 2009 at 8:08 AM Rating: Good
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    Lady isyris wrote:
    stuff


    I know, right?
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    #12 Sep 23 2009 at 9:46 AM Rating: Excellent
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    This by far the best post ever!


















    (Gonna try one of these with guildies and see if it really works)
    #13 Oct 01 2009 at 9:13 AM Rating: Excellent
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    Quote:
    Don't use a wolf, though. Only sheeple tame wolves. Stop trying so hard to conform!

    Is it bad if I have a dinosaur?

    Quote:
    You can't tame a dragon

    Tame a dinosaur. It's the closest you'll get to a dragon.

    Quote:
    really skilled, like Naruto

    Naruto is skilled?

    Quote:
    Guns are noisy and ugly and unsportsmanlike

    My gun is pretty.

    Quote:
    OMG GF aggro!...group that already believes you are female

    Lawl

    Quote:
    Kobold

    Aiee! Me run!
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    #14 Nov 10 2009 at 12:58 AM Rating: Excellent
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    I haven't laughed so hard in weeks!!! Thanks a bunch.
    #15 Nov 10 2009 at 4:21 AM Rating: Good
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    Normally I would now crucify you for necroing a post that is over a month old.
    But because this thread has the greatest hunter post ever I will ignore your crime and continue laughing my *** off.
    ____________________________
    Theophany wrote:
    YOU'RE AN ELITIST @#%^ AETHIEN, NO WONDER YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS AND PEOPLE HATE YOU.
    someproteinguy wrote:
    Aethien you take more terrible pictures than a Japanese tourist.
    Astarin wrote:
    One day, Maz, you'll learn not to click on anything Aeth links.
    #16 Nov 13 2009 at 6:08 PM Rating: Excellent
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    His Excellency Aethien wrote:
    But because this thread has the greatest hunter post ever I will ignore your crime and continue laughing my *** off.

    FTFY!




    In all seriousness - I hadn't even seen this before, because I wasn't paying attention tho hunter forums.. I found this funny enough to call my brother-in-law and read every single one to him in between our laughter.
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    #17 Dec 26 2009 at 5:24 AM Rating: Good
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    I know, I know - necro post.

    I don't care - this is too funny to get lost in everything else.

    What a way to start the morning! Great job
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    #18 Jun 18 2010 at 11:40 PM Rating: Good
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    What a clever and delightful read! I found myself giggling all the way through. Thanks for the fun.
    #19 Jun 22 2010 at 9:13 AM Rating: Good
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    What a clever and delightful necro...
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    Anyways, you all are horrible, @#%^ed up people

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    #20 Nov 20 2010 at 4:32 PM Rating: Decent
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    I'm probly going to get griefed for necroing, but this is just to epic to get lost. Greatest forum post ever and anyone who visits this site should see it.
    #21 Nov 22 2010 at 9:26 AM Rating: Decent
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    I have to thank you for necroing that Captin, I hadn't seen it yet and lulz were ensued. To stay on-topic though, I feel that this is relevant to the OP.
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