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-DISCLAIMER- Names will not be used to protect the innocent and stupids.


Welcome chimps and chimpettes, young and old, main and alt, respectful and respectless. Now for a word from our sponser!

*BRIGHT FLASH*
-Bold white letters on black screen- BARD
-Cut to scene of group of 3 in battle
Healer tells group: OOM!
-Chaos ensues as everyone runs but it ruthlessly cut down in their tracks.
-Anouncers voice while video plays
"Scene sound familiar?"
"Never want to be caught short in desperate times?"
"Want down times reduced or altogether eliminated?"
"Next time you see someone say 'Level X Bard LFG' grab them!"
-Cut to scene of same group with a Bard effortlessly cutting down mob after mob
-Anouncer voice again
"This grind was powered by BARD"

Back to the program.

Back as a younger Bard of about 33 seasons in a group waiting for the tank to return idle chat wandered it's way around various subjects. One person made the remark that anyone without a level 50+ character was a newb. Now I thought 'how fair is that?' Then I casually(but truthfully) made a comment about how I made level 30 in 10 days. I didn't think it was that major of an acomplishment but then he asked about how many quests I did and how much PL. I did all but one of the 27 and 17 quests and the only PL I did was from 17 to 18 and half of one of the mid 20s. Of course I had all the quest items from 5-15 in my possesion at level 5 when I had a friend help me get them. Gaberyael 24 Paladin, good guy, good tank, and a great friend. Also during this time I spent about 75% of it solo. Of course their next response was that if I made 30 in 10 days then I should make 60 in 20. But pretty much everyone makes lvl 2 within 5 minutes so at most it should take 5 hours to make lvl 60. OK just had to get that off my chest.

Has agro range changed? Out fighting pirates our tank would pull one and we would end up fighting no less that three. We had mobs coming from half way across the camp and through walls. Good job by the tank in trying to corral the random adds we kept getting. I think we might have agro'd a kappa or hexbone but the group left before they could make all the coaches.

Speaking of agro, why can't some melees learn to control it? How hard is it to wait a couple extra seconds to unload all those specials? Let the damn tank get a good hold first. Not all the time is it the tanks fault for losing agro. Funny thing about this. One time at Hexbones the tank pulled two on accident. Of course the healer has to drop a heal on the tank before he can do much taunting. Being the tank Bard that I am, I dropped all my special attacks on the one the tank didn't have control of and was making a bee line to the healer. I think that by this point the healer's heal has ticked so much and he's patched the tank too many times so I cannot hold the agro and the tank blames ME for his inability to peel. Said that I broke agro, which I'm assuming is something like breaking a root. So no one ever hit a mob or you too might be accused of breaking agro.

I'm a newb, kinda. Been playing about 7 weeks. Well anyways someone almost got me bad. Twice. It was one a lvl 54 Bard ability scroll. Selo's Travel or something like that. Real nice ability. Well first up someone in Highpass advertised this. I sent a tell. His first asking price was 100k! I offered 10. He came all the way down to 40. I declined. Next out with a group. A group member tells me about how he found a Bard ability out here. Sends me tells about how he will sell it to me afterwards. When all was said and done he asked for 50k! Then just on hunch I looked at the auction. There were no less than 6 of these scrolls for sell with buyout prices as low as 2k!!! all the way to 15k. So beware of the wolf in sheep's clothing.

Kappas! I love them little guys, all looking like ninja turtles. Someone should start a protect the Kappa fund. We could have banners and bumper stickers. Despite how good the XP was I felt bad killing them. One time I tried to reason with one, playing 'Diplomat'. I walked up to one and did the wave and cheer and said some nice things about them and about coming in peace. Well as I walking up to shake his hand he attacked me! Then the Ranger with us wrestled him to the ground and the Kappa ate him. So we beat the kappa down and had the Cleric perform surgery and remove the Ranger from inside the Kappa. Cleric hollered out "CLEAR!" and zapped the Ranger. At first I was confused wondering why he would do such a horrible act upon the dead. Then I saw the Ranger start to stir and was like "WOW now that's magic!"

Now I just can't post without saying something about tanks. Second only to their ability to hold agro is tanks and loot. Just yesterday we were out fighting casting mobs that did not dual/quad. Knowing that magic does not affect item HPs at all I wondered why this tank was taking all the stacks and when we finished offered out nothing to help the two melees with their repairs. If I had not won a roll on a junk rare I would have had no loot for the entire grind. As is I still ended up more than 10k off from repairs. I think I will just buy a junk pair of level 3 weapons to grind with and save my good stuff for when I have to solo. If I had to spend money on drinks and food like other classes I wouldn't have any money to my name. But all in all this will help me accomplish my goal of probably being the first person to make level 50 without ever having 100k in the bank at any one time.

Now a few more entries for Sumi's wild world of EQ:

Lastminuteuos Healuss - Healers who cannot for some reason cast a heal before the tank is at/below half health. At this stage chain healing/patching happens, healer get agro, healer becomes dinner, then group become desert. Trust the tank and heal early, unless you know he's a crud tank, but in that case just leave the group. Pre-heals should not be necessary unless the tank is paper and then leaving should be first priority.

IRGOD syndrome - People who think they are the children of the gods and group chat is nothing more than a forum for them to tell others all about how good they are and how they can solo anything we happen to be camping. Met a few of these and have long since passed most of them up. You will be the first people I group with on a PvP server. And just when you think you have found the security of a good group, POW right to the back of the head. Don't worry I'll come to your spawn to point and laugh, and if at all possible spawn camp you until either A) you log, or B) you max debt.

Eth - Enough has been said about this. Would probably crash the forums to list all their 'deeds'.

Newbin Knowitallacus - Looks like a newb, smells like a newb, plays like a newb. More often than not these are DD tanks. These are the guys asking Rogues why they are taunting. Tells the casters to not cast so much as his damage can't keep agro, AKA lvl 15+ without a clue what taunt is. Doesn't know what the little black 'X's next to items mean. Can't conserve power to supply a steady stream of damage/heals/taunts/etc but instead unloads on the first mob they see. While at one point in time we have all displayed some/all these traits, most of us have listened to those trying to impart knowledge on our thick skulls and have made us better players and increased the enjoyability of the game. Some knuckle heads refuse to listen to words of wisdom and can often be heard using that magical chant, "STFU n00b!"

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do!