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#1 Dec 02 2007 at 11:07 AM Rating: Good
1) If a new poster includes a link to anywhere within their first 20 posts, it's a key logger.

1a) If you have scanned the linked website or have visited it before and believe it to be safe, you are incorrect. The website is just very sneaky. The same applies to all you arrogant Firefox users - yes, you. With the goofy grin on your face and the air of superiority. Don't think we -- I mean they -- aren't on to you.

2) If you have been suspended or banned and come to the forums to complain, we don't care what you have to say. You're at fault. Period. You may either be lying in some attempt to gain sympathy, or you'll make three posts before revealing that, yes, you really did call that annoying person in General chat a "dipsh*t funtlicking caggot" and Blizzard decided to ban you for absolutely no reason. It must be some kind of personal vendetta. Or something.

3) You're an idiot. This one isn't really a rule per se, but it still applies. Recognize that you're an idiot and things will go much more smoothly for you from here on in.

4) You are not an exception to rule 3.

4a) No, not you either.

4b) Look, none of you are, so stop asking me about it.

5) Facts win arguments. Kvetching does not. Look it up, goyim.

5a) 100% of the 'facts' you make up on the spot make you look like an idiot.

5b) In all seriousness, if I see another poster make fifteen paragraph strawman arguments I will smother him with a pillow.

5c) You know who you are.

6) If you're not an elitist, it's because you don't have anything to be proud of.

6a) While you may be of the opinion that the only reason you're not in full Tier 6, downing Illidan twice before breakfast and then going to your 2500-rated Arena teams is because you don't have the time to invest, the rest of us are not.

7) Your story about the one time that thing happened with the guy and the other thing and then that stuff happened is boring. Really, it is. Nobody cares. Nobody will ever care.

7a) We especially do not care about your story about the time the thing happened in the PUG, where that stuff hapepned and then you were all like "watc this" and then they were like "lol" and then that thing with the guy and you were totally like "dude, wtf!??!?!". PUGs suck. It is not an indication that you are good at the game if you managed to be top DPS in a PUG. You can be top DPS in a PUG as a Holy Paladin in healing gear. It is not an indication that anything out of the ordinary happened with Joe PUG ninjas your item for his offspec set, or when that stupid Rogue takes the axe you've been looking for.

8) If your Arena is below 1700, we really don't care what you think about high-end PvP balance. The same applies to PvE if you're working on Gruul but you'll get him down soon! Sure you will, chief. Sure you will.

8a) To be more specific; you're more than entitled to talk about your experiences, but feel free to not draw a straight line between "well, at 1421 rating and with 12 Resilience this happened" and what PvP or PvE looks like when you're actually working at it.

9) Rule 9 is classified.

10) But most importantly, have fun!

10a) No, really. The point of the game is to have fun, not to turn it into Work (or School) 2.0. If you feel like playing is a chore rather than entertainment, turn it off and take a week off. Yes, a week. Your guildies will understand; At the end of the week, see if you want to go back. If you don't, take another week. At some point you'll realize that you either don't want to go back, ever, in which case it's account cancelling time, or you'll remember the things you enjoy about the game. Don't try to force playing out of obligation.

EDIT: Had to... go back... prevent knowledge of... Rule 9 at... source. God save us all.

Edited, Apr 1st 2037 12:12pm by RPZip

Edited, Dec 3rd 2007 2:46am by RPZip
#2 Dec 02 2007 at 11:09 AM Rating: Decent
Lol, I like those rules...
#3 Dec 02 2007 at 11:17 AM Rating: Good
RPZip wrote:
7) Your story about the one time that thing happened with the guy and the other thing and then that stuff happened is boring. Really, it is. Nobody cares. Nobody will ever care.


But this one time when I was doing..... I'll get my coat!
#4 Dec 02 2007 at 11:22 AM Rating: Decent
I like #3 if everyone got off their high horses when they first come in here less people would get angry. No ones right all the time were all idiots some times.

Rate Up^^
#5 Dec 02 2007 at 11:37 AM Rating: Decent
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179 posts
Quote:
10) But most importantly, have fun!

10a) No, really. The point of the game is to have fun, not to turn it into Work (or School) 2.0. If you feel like playing is a chore rather than entertainment, turn it off and take a week off. Yes, a week. Your guildies will understand; At the end of the week, see if you want to go back. If you don't, take another week. At some point you'll realize that you either don't want to go back, ever, in which case it's account cancelling time, or you'll remember the things you enjoy about the game. Don't try to force playing out of obligation.


This is so true. Sadly enough, I only started to realise that about 2 weeks ago. You should have posted these rules earlier! QQ

PS: warlocks are overpowered! Nerf warlocks! They always beat me, it's so unfair. It can't possibly be MY fault, because me and my friend have 1400 rating.

PPS: I need some advise here guys... blizzard banned my account. They say I was selling gold, but I didn't! What should I do?

PPS: Something crap happened yesterday. I did a PuG Shet Halls. Needless to say it was a horrific run, consisting of multiple wipes (even thought IMO it's the easiest at Auch) and unnecessary lessons on how to tank. So finally we get to last boss who hopefully will drop my Assassination shoulders and the tank goes afk as we engage. I now need to buy a new keyboard.

PPPS: Can anybody tell me where I can find an enchanter trainer? plx??

The Question for 1k gold is.. how many rules did I break?




Edited, Dec 2nd 2007 8:49pm by nightmareke
#6 Dec 02 2007 at 11:46 AM Rating: Decent
Ahh yes ... the ever popular rule #9 ...
#7 Dec 02 2007 at 12:08 PM Rating: Decent
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164 posts
Delightful. Should be listed as the "agree to rule" before creating an account on the forum.
#8 Dec 02 2007 at 12:14 PM Rating: Good
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75% of all "guides" are made because the author wants to feel special, not because he wants to help out the community.

Fact.

Edited, Dec 2nd 2007 9:15pm by Mazra
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Please "talk up" if your comprehension white-shifts. I will use simple-happy language-words to help you understand.
#9 Dec 02 2007 at 12:21 PM Rating: Decent
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19,369 posts
RPZip wrote:

5) Facts win arguments. Kvetching does not. Look it up, goyim.


Smiley: dubious
#10 Dec 02 2007 at 12:37 PM Rating: Decent
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14,326 posts
Rule #9 is my favorite.
#11 Dec 02 2007 at 12:39 PM Rating: Good
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RPZip wrote:


5) Facts win arguments. Kvetching does not. Look it up, goyim.



Kvetching works fine. Thanks.
#12 Dec 02 2007 at 12:43 PM Rating: Decent
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19,369 posts
Jordster, Assassin Reject wrote:
RPZip wrote:


5) Facts win arguments. Kvetching does not. Look it up, goyim.



Kvetching works fine. Thanks.


Unless you're a Jew.
#13 Dec 02 2007 at 1:17 PM Rating: Decent
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717 posts
Has to nitpick because I'm me.

Quote:
5) Facts win arguments. Kvetching does not. Look it up, goyim.

5a) 100% of the 'facts' you make up on the spot make you look like an idiot.


So looking like an idiot wins? I could make a joke about "case in point" but nah, that's too easy.

Quote:

6) If you're not an elitist, it's because you don't have anything to be proud of.


Ah..ah...ah-compensating!

Ugh...where did that come from? Dang, now I lost my train of thought. Oh well.

Quote:

7a) We especially do not care about your story about the time the thing happened in the PUG, where that stuff hapepned and then you were all like "watc this" and then they were like "lol" and then that thing with the guy and you were totally like "dude, wtf!??!?!". PUGs suck. It is not an indication that you are good at the game if you managed to be top DPS in a PUG. You can be top DPS in a PUG as a Holy Paladin in healing gear. It is not an indication that anything out of the ordinary happened with Joe PUG ninjas your item for his offspec set, or when that stupid Rogue takes the axe you've been looking for.


I'll keep on saying it. Pugophobia is nothing more than a self fulfilling prophecy in action. Play to lose and you'll probably lose. It's that simple. Once upon a time, there was nothing but PUGS and we survived.

You are a noob AFTER you do something stupid, not before, remember that.

Quote:
8) If your Arena is below 1700, we really don't care what you think about high-end PvP balance. The same applies to PvE if you're working on Gruul but you'll get him down soon! Sure you will, chief. Sure you will.


"My gear is purpler than yours" doesn't make you always right. There's lots of people who have made to top of the range and above and still learned nothing from it. Chances are, you've met many of them yourself. Just because you've seen it all doesn't mean you understand it.

I don't know about anyone else but where I come from, you EARN respect. You don't get it by default because you have the +7 greatsword of awesomness.

Edited, Dec 2nd 2007 4:20pm by Shamibell
#14 Dec 02 2007 at 1:32 PM Rating: Good
Quote:

"My gear is purpler than yours" doesn't make you always right. There's lots of people who have made to top of the range and above and still learned nothing from it. Chances are, you've met many of them yourself. Just because you've seen it all doesn't mean you understand it.


See Rule 8a.

Quote:
75% of all "guides" are made because the author wants to feel special, not because he wants to help out the community.

Fact.


See rule 9.

Quote:
Jordster, Assassin Reject wrote:
RPZip wrote:


5) Facts win arguments. Kvetching does not. Look it up, goyim.



Kvetching works fine. Thanks.


Unless you're a Jew.


My family is secular, so I freely admit to the possibility that I used the wrong tense although I'm fairly sure I got the words right. Just going off what seemed amusing to me at 4 in the morning.
#15 Dec 02 2007 at 1:32 PM Rating: Good
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14,659 posts
RPZip wrote:
3) You're an idiot. This one isn't really a rule per se, but it still applies. Recognize that you're an idiot and things will go much more smoothly for you from here on in.

4) You are not an exception to rule 3.

4a) No, not you either.

4b) Look, none of you are, so stop asking me about it.

I have the distinct feeling that I've seen this before.

RPZip = Thundra!
____________________________
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I managed to be both retarded and entertaining.

#16 Dec 02 2007 at 1:33 PM Rating: Decent
The Demea of Doom wrote:
RPZip wrote:
3) You're an idiot. This one isn't really a rule per se, but it still applies. Recognize that you're an idiot and things will go much more smoothly for you from here on in.

4) You are not an exception to rule 3.

4a) No, not you either.

4b) Look, none of you are, so stop asking me about it.

I have the distinct feeling that I've seen this before.

RPZip = Thundra!


See rule 9 for clarification!
#17 Dec 02 2007 at 2:06 PM Rating: Decent
Quote:
7) Your story about the one time that thing happened with the guy and the other thing and then that stuff happened is boring. Really, it is. Nobody cares. Nobody will ever care.


So much for my sordid story about that time me 'n Jordster found ourselves alone under the bleachers.
#18 Dec 02 2007 at 2:29 PM Rating: Good
*****
11,852 posts
RPZip wrote:
[quote]
My family is secular, so I freely admit to the possibility that I used the wrong tense although I'm fairly sure I got the words right. Just going off what seemed amusing to me at 4 in the morning.


My choice is secular ... but words like Kvetch will stay with me forever.
#19 Dec 02 2007 at 6:14 PM Rating: Decent
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52 posts
Khrystalmyth the Meaningless wrote:
Quote:
7) Your story about the one time that thing happened with the guy and the other thing and then that stuff happened is boring. Really, it is. Nobody cares. Nobody will ever care.


So much for my sordid story about that time me 'n Jordster found ourselves alone under the bleachers.



Pic's or it didn't happen!
#20 Dec 02 2007 at 6:37 PM Rating: Decent
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369 posts
This thread is as pointless as Dustwallow Marsh was before 2.3.
#21 Dec 02 2007 at 7:07 PM Rating: Decent
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1,113 posts
labudism wrote:
This thread is as pointless as Dustwallow Marsh was before 2.3.


That was awful.
#22 Dec 02 2007 at 7:37 PM Rating: Default
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147 posts
#23 Dec 02 2007 at 9:00 PM Rating: Default
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185 posts
Mageoken wrote:
labudism wrote:
This thread is as pointless as Dustwallow Marsh was before 2.3.


That was awful.


Really? I thought it was kinda snappy.

Mostly because he does have a point.

About Dustwallow Marsh, that is.
#24 Dec 02 2007 at 11:57 PM Rating: Default
You guys never went Onyxia?

Amusing post, though I thought it was satire after rules 1 - 2; however, 5b) is undeniable.
#25 Dec 03 2007 at 12:57 AM Rating: Default
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326 posts
I vote for a sticky...

Just wish I knew what rule 9 was...

Tense of kvetch is correct RP. Also secular by choice Jordster (with an uber religious family >.< ) makes family dinners interesting. I still tend to use words like 'kvetch' and 'chutzpah' and 'oi vey'. Yiddish is suck an expressive (and funny) language.
#26 Dec 03 2007 at 1:11 AM Rating: Good
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8,779 posts
i say kvetching and im pretty much the anti-jew in terms of sociocultural upbringing (largely italian catholic family). some things just bridge that gap.
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