The adventures of Aletto in The Barrens.Follow

Aletto surfaced. The swim had taken 10 minutes and he had dodged some mean-looking Schools of Fish (dangerous level 1 mobs). He saw Ratchet in the distance. The swim from Theramore had been fraught with tension, but he could now relax in Ratchet.

All Aletto was expecting in the small port town was to turn in two quests and be on his way across the sea. However, he was surprised to find that many quests were offered to him by the Goblins there, even though he was Alliance. Though they were gray, Aletto had a policy to do every quest possible for sake of completion. Taking one last look behind him at Ratchet, he made for Fray Island.

There, he maimed all the challengers, grabbing Berserker Stance a tad bit later than usual (at level 36). He then made off to the Southsea Pirate camps south of Ratchet to complete some miscellaneous quests.

He ran into a level 14 Tauren Warrior, who was fighting pirates while facing in Aletto's direction. Aletto moved slightly to the left, just to give him a large berth. The Tauren began backing up at a quick clip. Aletto moved more to the left. The Tauren backed into some bushes. Aletto passed him. The Tauren turned to watch him. Aletto felt disturbed and rounded a corner quickly.

Later, Aletto was near the Sludge Fen, completing some more low-level quests. He sat in front of a small hut, waiting for a mob to spawn who held a key that opened a console needed for the quest. A Troll noticed him waiting and disappeared, returning with two more level 12-18 friends. Aletto continued to sit. The friends stood still. More time passed. The Troll's friends began crafting and killing mobs. Finally, the Venture. Co. mob spawned. Aletto looked to them, bowed, and pointed at the mob. They did nothing. He did it again. The Troll inched closer to the doorway, magicked the mob, and ran into the hills to fight it.

Aletto waited another 10 minutes for the mob to spawn.

He went to the north, to a small mine, to grab a precious stone from the Venture Co. mobs. He saw a Tauren, and bowed to it. The Tauren spat on him. Aletto smiled. The Tauren spat again. The Tauren made a rude gesture. The Tauren continued to string a series of strange obscene movements and gestures together for over two minutes as Aletto talked to his guild. Aletto said goodbye to the Tauren and hearthstoned back to Ratchet.

Aletto decided he had no time to venture into the Wailing Caverns or Razorfen Kraul. He ventured south to the pirate camps again to do a second quest. Aletto was about to engage a pirate when an Undead magicked it away from the cover of his tree. The Undead cannibalized the pirate, mooned Aletto, and spit on him.

Aletto spent the rest of the night showering frantically at the inn.

"The Horde is very unsanitary..." he said to himself.

There was a strange retching sound and the Undead from earlier peered into the shower. "Don't tell anyone I'm bulimic," he threatened, before turning on his heel and walking outside.

/CLAP