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5) Whatever you do, let her think that she is in charge!! Pretending that you don't really want to control her life every single second of the day will actually have the opposite effect and cause less aggro in the long run.
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2) Stay calm. Allow the HNM to vent the aggro. Admit that she is right, and you are wrong no matter what logic says.
Are not advised for use on HNM "Smart Cute Chick" or any variation thereof. Doing so may result in counter-use of /dump command with little to no warning because she will believe you are using the "Patronizing" job ability. You can tell if you have a "Smart" variety of HNM if she is often logical (even if it has to do with emotions) about what she is upset about, remember, women are just as capable of logic. Instead, engage her in a discussion on the subject and use the job ability "Work Things Out."
Very funny post, even if it does have some things I disagree with. Have to love those deep-seated misconceptions.