Funny Noob Sayings. ^_^Follow

Haha, got this one yesterday

I'm level 15 WHM running through the highlands after a few hours in the dunes and I hear a /shout I NEED HELP PLEASE SOMEONE HELP

so to save time I just shout back "I can come where are you"

no reply and I'm running to the center just so I can get anywhere else I need to a little quicker. then again the shout "PLEASE HELP I'm ASLEEP AND DYING"

So this time I send a tell. "I can come cure you where are you"

Like 3 seconds later a shout "to that guy who just said he could come I'm in the K. highlands (he typed it all out)

So I send another tell " I know you are i need your position"

and he shouts again "I said K. Highlands"

I'm crying now from laughing so hard so I send a tell "look around you the highlands a re big place send me your position"

so then he shouts "why won't anyone help me who knows where the highlands are"

then another shout "You suck I'm dead"

so I: /t "meet me in the bastok markets I'll cure you there

Like 3 minutes later there is the guy standing next to the HP and I run up cast cure 2 on a perfectly healthy level 9 WAR and /T "glad I could help, it's much easier when I know where you are:)"

It was a riot.

Some of these posts were hillarious. Anyways I had a couple that I thought were pretty funny. The first one was told to me by a friend. He was in Bastok market when he saw a war shouting asking people where to buy provoke.
A few days ago I was in San d'Oria running through North San d'Oria heading to go logging at Ghelsba when I see someone shouting asking how to get a Ballista license. Being the kind soul that I am I told him who to talk to and where he was. A few minutes later I get a tell from this person saying that he can't get the license from the npc. I then tell him that he has to be at least rank 3 to be able to get the license. He replies that he's well past rank 3... that he's actually rank 9. I check him and find out he's a lvl 9 WAR, rank 1. I tell him he's only rank 1 and that he's lvl 9. He kept insisting that he was rank 9 and that I didn't know what I was talking about. I just told him whatevers and I'll let him know how ballista is.
The last one I had was while I was in the dunes. Someone was shouting asking if anyone had maps they could sell him.

In response to Elflord's post about the newb that didn't know the "pos" function... I was soloing in the dunes at around level 24 (helping LS members get subjob items) when this guy who I've seen /sh'ing before appears shouting again his some ol' plea:
"HELP I'M DYING!! SOME ONE PLEASE CURE ME!!!"
And he does this ... over and over again... spamming the chat like crazy. I finally break down and begin to ask where he's at. After 5 or 6 more of his "help" shouts, he finally sends his position. Now, the problem with FFXI (probably one of the few in my opinion) is that it's map system is beyond horrible (take a look at Yhoator/Yuhtunga why don't ya?)... He shouts out his pos and sure enough, I can't find him there. I kept asking where he was... raking through the coordinate like a madman, trying to help him out... Sure enough, second later, his pos changed to about 3 squares east of where I was. And then out of nowhere, we notice his pleas die off. And then there's
"I HATE YOU PEOPLE!!! >.< So many people out here and no one was able to heal me!!"

Now for a noobish thing I did (cuz it's only fair).
I don't think this constitutes to noobism.. just stupidity and/or ignorance. I had just hit rank 2 and I was allowed into the big castle in Sandy (the one with the name no one can pronounce).. I was walking around in it when I hit the dungeons. There was a guy next to the entrance to the dungeon below Sandy, and after stocking up on some brand new level 14 armor (WOW!), I decided to check it out... I hit the ground and saw the big 240 pop up right above my name.. a second passed and onther 272 popped over my name and I was dead... and it slowly crept by me... this huge slime looking thing... and I was petrified after that. I'm now a level 33RDM and I still won't go down there.

Oh.. and would someone please explain what these are: U.U , YY and others???? I like the good ol' days of =) and ^^

Me too!!! Did it for 5hrs.... Almost didn't want to play anymore!!

lol, one day there was this noob shouting out for a world pass, does anyone have a world pass I could buy???

<me> Yes xxxxxx i do have a world pass you can buy ^^ please come to la rude gardens. My name is jesse it is nice to meet you!
<him>yes thank you soooo much for helping me ive been looking for one all day!
<me> yes xxxxxx i do sell them and i am standing at the castle entrance. you shall see my name in blue. (though extremely far-fetched i continued on) i am a new ai npc designed to sell the world pass to adventurers who need them.
<him> REALLY! OH WOW THATS SO COOL! IM REALLY LOVING THIS GAME!
<me> well thank you xxxxxx im so glad you are having fun here.
<him> HEHE THANKS, THIS IS THE BEST GAME EVER
~he arrives~
<him> so how do i buy them?
<me> im not sure if i know how to respond, please ask in a different way
~brief pause~
<me> wait maybe i do.... /slap <t> <repeat numerous times...

took a while for him to get it but he was utterly blown away. he just sat there laughing and sending <ill get you back for that with something of my own> i couldnt help but laugh all the way to bastok...hehe...some people.... ^^

lol priceless!! all of it. i laughed especially hard at this one :


beautiful. i havent had this hard a laugh in awhile.

i dont really have my own stories :/ ....i read the whole book b4 i even got on the computer :) sorry. but theres always other people that are newbs. like this one guy in my ls. wow....talk about pathetic. well it went like this...

<new ls player> hey Goaste!!! whats up!!!
<me> uhh.....hi O_o...do i know u?
<new ls player> Can u do me a hugggggge favor! i need to borrow some money from you please :)
<me> (trien to be nice) umm....uhh do i even know u?
<new ls player> oh im sorry im -------
<new ls player> so can i have some money now :)
<me> -_-' ... how much do u need man? (i check the ls list and hes lvl 15)
<other ls members> lol
<new ls player> oh not much....just like 200k....
<me>(being nice failed) WTF!
<new ls player> you have that right? ur a thf....thf's get tons of dough dont they?
<me> WHO THE **** ARE U?!
<new ls player> i just told u -------
<other ls members> haha this is great
<me> what the hell could u possibly need 200k for at lvl 15!
<new ls player> well these earrings are like 50k and i need them bad :*(
<me> ..... ...no u cant have 200k
<new ls player> do u have 100k i can have then??
<me> (telling the ls leader) u pick the best ones man :/
<new ls player> so can i?
<me> go away

after that he went on to the next victim.
ahh....the youth. at least there good for one thing..... laughing at them.

Edited, Tue May 4 08:13:37 2004 by goaste

oo oo i remember another one :)
not so much a newb point but still funny

during the easter quest w/ the eggs and the anarchy of 100 people, the usual shouts of "have Q,R,P need B,C,D and F" and so on. well during all the commotion this one guy just flat out shouts "[please help me] [incredibly tough] [rod] in [trousers] [please check it]" like 20 times.

rofl i was laughin so hard i thought i was gona bust a lung.



lmao! i just thought this was hilarious. for some reason i imagined a guy being nonchalant; whistling and slowly coming from behind a completely random player and "WHAM!!" just knocks him over the head! lol

I'd have to say the biggest noob thing i've done was one time while standing by the crag in konschat highlands i noticed several jp players gathered around a ??? in the ground. I decided to check it out and see what was going on so i ran over and pressed enter on the ??? in the ground. it said "gimme everything you got in your bag" and i'm like "hmm, i wonder what this is, maybe i will get some kind of prize or something" so i gave it a shellbug and instantly a goblin archaeologist spawns from under the ground and proceeds to attack me, i immediately call for help not knowing what was going on. the jp standing by hesitantly saved my life and then did a /sigh after doing so and teleported away. only later did i realize that was an NM and i had stole it from them and then immediately called for help. lol i felt pretty bad after finding that out, but hey, if they weren't too good to talk to an american when i tried to ask them what it was with the translator i wouldn't have done it. instead of them replying with {Notorious Monster} the just ignored me and pretended i wasn't even there when i asked them what it was by doing a /point ??? and then asking them about it. I'm just surprised they decided to save my life.

I was on a the ship that runs from Mhaura to Selbina after leveling my BLM sub-job in the Maze of Shakrami. There were about 5 people on board that were obviously WHM cause they had their artifact armor on, but the were /anon. After the ship had left, they all went to the stairs on deck to go fishing, anywaym after a few minutes, the sea pirates came up. The whms continued fishing. I was only a 12blm/06whm at the time, so i went up into the cabin, because as the pirates started summoning crossbones onto the deck, a level 10 warrior had 2 on him, and he ran to the door to go below deck and dragged with him the two crossbones and wiped out the newbs at the bottom, about 8 in all. They were all /sh "OMG Help us!!!!!!!!11111" And they whm had to do about 8 to 10 raises at selbina ^_^

I also was in a newb party when i was leveling my blm subjob in la thienne at level 9 and we had 4 warriors >.> that didn't know how to voke. Once we got to lake ephemere, all 4 of them voked four differant thickshells. ^_^ they tried to zone, but they all died.
So i left and joined a JP PT and leveled twice.

I was invited to a party while leveling my WAR sub at around 23... the WHM of the party was a 23WHM, no sub. Being the inquisitive type, I ask him:

Me: Umm... so WHM, why don't you have your sub yet?
(I don't beat around the bush =P)

WHM: I don't like to do quests, I just want to level.

Party: ...

Me as a real noob

So I was pting with a Drg and another War in Gelshba outpost.
I die, and I can't find my way back lol. So i'm wandering about, and the War gets impatient, and goes deeper to solo. She then says this
"A train raped me"
me, as a noob thought there was a litteral "train" in the Gelshba outpost.
me- "there's a train here? where does it go to? does it cost money?"
the Drg explains about trains...
Me, then was like "oh"

Me now is like, me stupid lol
(that drg prob was thinking i was such a noob, which i was)

You ran from K.Highlands to Bastok Market in 3 min? That's better than my flee. Even on chocobo thats pretty... fast.