Good Laugh regarding TrainsFollow

Shamelessly stolen from Club Fu's message boards.

People at work are beginning to think I am going crazy because I have been giggling reading this article.



QUOTE:


still get requests for this, so to satisfy others' curiosity and my own ego, I'm making it a sticky-topic. - Breathe

CLUB FU TRAIN INDEX
(compiled by Breathe/Flitterbick, proud member of the Club Fu guild on Bristlebane )

Trains in EverQuest are an inevitable occurance. Yet despite the frequency of trains, little effort has been expended towards the scientific goal of rating these oft-maligned forces of nature.

Until now . . .

NOTE - For your train to be valid for rating under the CFTI, it must be an UNPLANNED train. While any idiot can maliciously cause a train if they set their mind to it, TRUE training comes from the heart. It is the wondrous alignment of lag, carelessness, and sheer dumb luck that coalesces into a living, breathing example of Chaos Theory at it's finest. Spontaneity is your goal, and this is defeated by premeditation or intentional efforts to increase your CFTI once you realize your innocent little pull has mutated into the most feared of all events . . . a train.

This index would not have been possible without the dedicated, nay FANATIC efforts of the many pullers within Club Fu and the many suggestions from others across all servers. I would thank you individually, but I'm too busy looting my corpse.

-----------------------------------------------
PULLING
You are the puller. -10 pts
Group does not know you are the puller. +15 pts
Group does not know you are pulling. +10 pts
Group deliberately misled into thinking you are NOT pulling. +50 pts
Did you pull while group members were AFK? +5 pts per AFK member
Was it the Enchanter or Cleric? +10 pt bonus

WARNINGS
Did you shout a warning to the zone before the train hit? -20 pts
Did you shout a warning to the zone after the train hit? +30 pts
Did you claim, after the train, that you DID shout a warning before the train, even though you didn't? +40 pts
Did you warn your group a train was coming? -10 pts
Was it cryptic? ("Ummm...", "OMG", "3 inc I think", "may be an add", etc) +10 pts
Did you mislead your group into thinking a train was NOT coming? +20 pts

CONTENT
Number of mobs? +10 pts per mob above four
Did any of the mobs summon? +10 pts
Did any of the mobs HT/DT? +10 pts
Did they HT/DT someone else? +20 pts
Was it the bard? +30 pts
Did your train contain any "named" mobs or rare spawns? +30 pts
Did your train contain any Deities? (NOTE - Claiming you saw God during the training does not count) +40 pts
Did your train contain representatives of more than 50% of all mob types in that zone? +25 pts

IMPACT!
WTH? from witnesses. +5 pts each
WTF? from witnesses. +10 pts each
OMG! from witnesses. +5 pts each
OMFG! from witnesses. +10 pts each
Did you force any Monks/SK's/Necros to FD? +5 pts each
Did you force any Clerics to DA? +10 pts each

EVASION
Did you survive your own train? +50 pts
Did you self-inflict damage and/or zone to fake your own death in order to soften incoming accusations? +20 pts
Survivors in group who did not use FD or zone to evade death. -30 pts each

AFTERMATH
Did you claim responsibility for your train? -10 pts
Regret it? -50 pts
Brag about it? +50 pts
Blame lag? +10 pts
Blame the bard? +10 pts
Did they buy it? +30 pts

No confirmed deaths. -200 pts
Confirmed deaths. +20 pts per death
Were any deaths from classes that have Feign Death (MNK, SHD, NEC)? +20 pts each
Were any victims looting their corpses from a previous death when your train hit? +50 pts

Number of insulting/accusatory tells from train victims/witnesses. +10 pts each
Number of congratulatory tells from Monks, SK's, Rangers or other pullers. +20 pts each
Number of tells from victims rendered incoherent by rage. +25 pts each

Petitioned? +20 pts
Did you OOC/shout to the zone that trains in EQ "are a fact of life" or other similar rationalization? +10 pts
NOW were you petitioned? +40 pts
Did any victims/groupmembers quit EQ for the night? +30 pts each
Quit EQ, period? +100 pts

FOR EXPERTS ONLY
Guides killed? +40 pts each
GM's killed? +60 pts each
Verant/GM-Admins killed? x2 Multiplier
Did recovery from your train require Verant CS representatives to summon corpses/reset spawns? +50 pts

Total group wipeout. +50 pts per group
Total raid wipeout. x1.5 Multiplier
Did you ruin an RP event? +60 pts
Was it a wedding? +100 pts
Was it YOUR wedding? +200 pts

good times...good times.

squishy clericses



The absolute best was when she did that in PoV. Ditz...

Edited, Tue Dec 13 15:48:00 2005 by Frakkor

much love for pouty

CAHIN READY NOW!!!!!!!!!!

This had me laughing for a while. Good job whoever came up with it.

Must say, in their defense, though...they are usually trying to save me. For that I am humbled. But, dang...all valor aside, a train of dragons in WW is just gonna be bad. "Incoming: Velium Mastodon...(pause), and the host of Veeshan."

Edited, Wed Dec 14 09:08:25 2005 by BlackfiveMK

My personal best after accidentally hitting range attack on a targetted mob when the monk had already announced the raid mob was incoming...

"Um... yeah, the clerics might want to camp"

~Kriegs

It was my first raid in PoFear and I was conning random mobs to see how tough they were =/

Absolutely hilarious...but you fogot to add a section on training yourself while soloing.
Soloing monk in lguk, fighting minatuars, when aggroed a shaman. Ran to avoid spells, then feigned...waitied a minute, then sat up...oops 2 froggies, two shamans and two min come running...i get stunned and spun...panic just a little.. run to new spot to feign... turns out it is the three mino room...shout OMG...(even though no one in zone)...trying to run to hallway to feign with no wonderers, and end up in room with three more urd shamans...spells hitting so feign keeps failing...now running to zone with 6 froggies ( knights and warriors) 6 shamans and 7 or 8 minatuars, and i shout TRAIN TO ZONE..never made it...LOADING PLEASE WAIT...even thought no one in zone :)...best solo train ever...best part is, not having played my monk in months, is if i had waited initially till i got the "your enemies have forgotten you" message, I never would hav ehad this train. :) should get some good points for that stupidity.

Lord Galthran
Like all lessons I learn in EQ, they all are done the hard way...fortunately for me I did it only to myself :)
And you didn't butcher it, I see that I should take more time to edit my posts, I obviously have trouble with the space bar.

Hmmm, wonder if there's to be an expansion that includes 'fear' training, you know when you're stuck with fear, run deeper into the dungeon - then the fear stops and you then start to retrace your steps (with lots of new friends)...or does that just qualify jus as the 'not puller' lilne??

Raid gathering at Velitorkin:

Puller says:
INC some trash

10 sec later 10 trash mobs, Disc. Warfiend and Velitorkin is at camp.
We where unbuffed and half the raidfoce wasnt even at portal room yet.. When all mobs where dead about 10 people where alive hehe.

Also, last week as raid where heading to MPG trials one of the first people through WoS pulled DV and Hulc + some trash to MPG zoneline.. The rest of the lemmings kept running towards MPG zoneline where Hulc and c/o sat and camped more and more corpses..
Good times! :D

Plane of Fear..
I hate that zone. One giant train, and thought I would never recover my 7 corpses.