Quote:
I understand the feeling of being too young to be chained down with kids, but I suppose I have a hard time understanding what men view as the limiting aspect of a monogamous relationship besides the obvious.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding something, but what does saying "It's not you, it's me" have to do with a fear of monogamy? Maybe that was the point of the episode, and you didn't mention it? Just didn't really see the tie-in.
I struggled to not use this line when I dumped my last girlfriend. Really it was her - I could point out several reasons I didn't see a long-term relationship working out, and none were a fear of monogamy; at most it was a fear that "she's not right for you." I'm a serial monogamist and have never had an issue being "exclusive" with a girl. But I'll also be the first to admit that many times I flirt and date girls who I wouldn't pick as life partners, only to (unsurprisingly) break up a few months later. Case-in-point, issues with the last girlfriend:
-Clash on religious beliefs.
-Clash on family (I always felt uncomfortable around her family)
-Clash on where we are in our lives... I was 4 years older and she was still in college. I wanted to move out of town; she was there for at least two more years
-Personality differences, especially emotions. I'm pretty easy going and open when talking about what's bothering me. She broods, looks internally, and gives the silent treatment for days on end. This would repeat almost every month, getting more and more frustrating each time.
- Physical attraction. Vain as it is, from when I met her to when we broke up she put on nearly 40 pounds and became by far the biggest girl I've dated. It's awkward to have a 21-year-old with blatant stretch marks. As her father is over 350 lbs, I didn't like the future I was seeing.
Anyway, fear of monogamy was never an issue - if anything, I thought she'd make a great wife. Just not for me. Most of my friends are similar - mid-20s and not looking for a fling, but a partner with whom they can spend their lives. Thus I've never really understood where this "fear of monogamy" stereotype comes from; none of my social group have ever displayed it.
Edit: Going by the list, by tops would be:
1. I don't see a future with you
2. Too much fighting
3. Lack of punctuality (one girl I was with would routinely and constantly double or triple book times, then call up and cancel. Frustrating as all hell. Guess this could be "I don't feel like I'm a priority)
Edited, May 30th 2012 3:31pm by LockeColeMA