A kid gets a bike for a christmas gift and ask's his father to ride out side "father" sure sone) so the kid goes out for a ride and a horse back officer pulls him over and says "officer" did santa get you that bike the kids replys yes he did "officer" well tell santa to give you a helmet next time with it and gives a ticket to the kid and tells him to go home. As the kid was rideing away he stoped and say hey to the officer he stops and the kid ask's hey did santa get you that horse "officer" humor's the kid and says why yes he did the kid replys well next time tell santa to put the d*ck on the bottom and not on the top.
heh im doing this cause server is down o.O
Edited, Tue Apr 26 11:52:48 2005 by DarkZanon
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JokesFollow
A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar...
...and that's just the first guy.
--Arondight, Bismarck
...and that's just the first guy.
--Arondight, Bismarck
Nothing that is so, is so.
----------------------------
Profile: http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/profile.xml?43279
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Profile: http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/profile.xml?43279
sagashe wrote:
A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar...
...and that's just the first guy.
--Arondight, Bismarck
...and that's just the first guy.
--Arondight, Bismarck
awe man.. so bad but so funny. >,<
43 posts
haha thats just wrong good one
Hehe, okies I'm allowed to post this one, since I'm from TX ^.~
Lolz... Disclaimer for the Kiddies: There's implied naughty humor in this one
=O
Texan Poetry
The finals of the National Poetry Contest came down to two finalists. One was a San Francisco State University graduate from an upper-crust family; well-bred, well-connected and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Texas A & M. Go figure.
The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word “Timbuktu.”
The San Francisco State graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:
“Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination... Timbuktu.”
The audience went wild! How, they wondered if the redneck could top that?! The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:
“Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
Met three gals in a pop-up tent.
They was three, we was two,
So I bucked one and Timbuktu”
Lolz... Disclaimer for the Kiddies: There's implied naughty humor in this one
=O
Texan Poetry
The finals of the National Poetry Contest came down to two finalists. One was a San Francisco State University graduate from an upper-crust family; well-bred, well-connected and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Texas A & M. Go figure.
The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word “Timbuktu.”
The San Francisco State graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:
“Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination... Timbuktu.”
The audience went wild! How, they wondered if the redneck could top that?! The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:
“Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
Met three gals in a pop-up tent.
They was three, we was two,
So I bucked one and Timbuktu”
Group Therapy
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children...... "You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turns to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers, "Come on, Di[u][/u]ck, we're leaving."
Edited, Tue Apr 26 13:45:12 2005 by Kakashisan
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children...... "You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turns to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers, "Come on, Di[u][/u]ck, we're leaving."
Edited, Tue Apr 26 13:45:12 2005 by Kakashisan
Ahahahaha!!!!! Rate up, Kaka!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*hunches over and grabs her side from laughing*
*hunches over and grabs her side from laughing*
hehe. hey chid. hows it goin? haven't seen you in a longtime.
I work in a computer helpdesk and here are some actual quotes from our users. Just thought they were kinda funny.
"I tried fiddling with it, but I haven't been able to get it up."
"I stuck it in, but nothing happened."
"I tried wiggling it and got no response."
"One of the guys was poking around under my desk and now it's broken"
"The thing is sticking out of the front...is that normal?"
"I think I broke it off."
"One of the IT guys yanked it and now it's dead."
"They were all poking around in there yesterday."
I work in a computer helpdesk and here are some actual quotes from our users. Just thought they were kinda funny.
"I tried fiddling with it, but I haven't been able to get it up."
"I stuck it in, but nothing happened."
"I tried wiggling it and got no response."
"One of the guys was poking around under my desk and now it's broken"
"The thing is sticking out of the front...is that normal?"
"I think I broke it off."
"One of the IT guys yanked it and now it's dead."
"They were all poking around in there yesterday."
Hi, Kaka! Yeah, been a looooong time...
Meh, college + work + photo shoots + drama... Hardly ever have time to breathe lately lolz... Sounds like you've been as busy as I have...
I'm trying to make time to start playing FFXI again; I miss everyone, including you!!!!! d(^.~)b Hope to cya round, mebbe we can "get lost" together, for old times sakes lolz ;P
Meh, college + work + photo shoots + drama... Hardly ever have time to breathe lately lolz... Sounds like you've been as busy as I have...
I'm trying to make time to start playing FFXI again; I miss everyone, including you!!!!! d(^.~)b Hope to cya round, mebbe we can "get lost" together, for old times sakes lolz ;P
This ones a bit nasty so childrens eyes should not read
Superman is flying around the city one day and nothings going on.
He flies around a bit more and see Wonderwoman lying on top on a building butt naked with her eyes closed. SuperMan starts thinking "Hey Im the Man os Steel Im fatster then a speeding bullet. I could fly down there do by business and be done with her before she opens her eyes." So SuperMan starts circling her. Then swoops down does his business as fast as possible and flies off a very content SuperMan.
WonderWoman opens her eyes and says "What the hell was that!?" and the invisable man says "I dont know but my *** sure hurts."
Edit
After thinking about it a sec I took the second joke off. It was basically a joke about iraqis and star trek so yeah didnt wanna seem like a ****.
Edited, Tue Apr 26 15:45:33 2005 by johnma
Edited, Tue Apr 26 17:52:19 2005 by johnma
Superman is flying around the city one day and nothings going on.
He flies around a bit more and see Wonderwoman lying on top on a building butt naked with her eyes closed. SuperMan starts thinking "Hey Im the Man os Steel Im fatster then a speeding bullet. I could fly down there do by business and be done with her before she opens her eyes." So SuperMan starts circling her. Then swoops down does his business as fast as possible and flies off a very content SuperMan.
WonderWoman opens her eyes and says "What the hell was that!?" and the invisable man says "I dont know but my *** sure hurts."
Edit
After thinking about it a sec I took the second joke off. It was basically a joke about iraqis and star trek so yeah didnt wanna seem like a ****.
Edited, Tue Apr 26 15:45:33 2005 by johnma
Edited, Tue Apr 26 17:52:19 2005 by johnma
A Mithra and an Elvaan are throwing pebbles at the floor.
Then the Elvaan misses.
Sorry, I couldn't resist...
Edited, Tue Apr 26 16:35:43 2005 by Solrain
Then the Elvaan misses.
Sorry, I couldn't resist...
Edited, Tue Apr 26 16:35:43 2005 by Solrain
This is my Vana 'diel adaptation of a classic. There's a few curses in this one, so umm yea, you were warned.
---------------------------------------
A Taru with no arms and no legs is sitting on the beach in Valkurm one day, crying his little Tarutaru eyes out when a very pretty female Hume White Mage walks by. She stops and turns to the Taru.
"What's wrong there, little Taru, why are you crying?"
"Well," the Taru says, "It's just that I have no arms and no legs and I- I've never been hugged before."
The Hume, feeling sorry for the little guy says, "Aww you poor thing, I'll give you a hug!"
Much to the Taru's delight, the Hume bends down and hugs the Taru.
"Oh thank you, thank you" he replies, "You've made a poor Taru happy!"
The Hume smiles and walks away.
A few minutes later, the Taru starts to cry again, just as a tall, elegant Elvaan female Paladin is walking by.
"Taru, why do you cry?" she asks.
"You see," the Taru sniffles, "Everyone finds me repulsive and all I've ever wanted was to be kissed by a beautiful woman."
Feeling a little leary, the Elvaan bends down a plants a kiss on the Taru's lips.
"There, good Tarutaru," she mumbles, "There is your kiss from a beautiful woman."
"Oh thank you, fair Elvaan, you've made me a happy Taru!"
An hour or so passes and the Taru begins to cry once again.
"Tarrru, what's trrroubling ya?"
The Taru turns to see a gorgeous Mithra Black Mage throwing the Taru a suspicious look from beneath her pointy hat.
"Well, my lady," the Taru starts, "You see, I have no arms and no legs and well..."
"Yes Tarrru, what is it?"
"I've-" the Taru continued, "I've never been fuc[/b]ked before."
The Mithra puts a paw to her chin and thinks.
"Well Tarrru," she says with a wily grin, "This is yourrr lucky day. Wait herrre."
The wide-eyed Taru nods anxiously to the Mithra as she runs off and out of sight.
"Wow, I'm finally going to get fuc[b]ked, this is great!" He thinks to himself.
A minute later, the Taru sees the Mithra appear on the horizon, getting closer and closer. But she isn't alone.
Behind her is a huge train consisting of two Bogys, six Goblins and a few damselflies.
The Taru's eyes widen in terror as the Mithra arrives with the mobs, not able to utter a single word.
She walks over, stands right next to the Taru, closes her eyes and calmly starts casting Warp.
"Now," the Mithra laughs as she slowly fades away, "Now you'rrre fuc[b][/b]ked!"
Edited, Tue Apr 26 17:07:17 2005 by Solrain
---------------------------------------
A Taru with no arms and no legs is sitting on the beach in Valkurm one day, crying his little Tarutaru eyes out when a very pretty female Hume White Mage walks by. She stops and turns to the Taru.
"What's wrong there, little Taru, why are you crying?"
"Well," the Taru says, "It's just that I have no arms and no legs and I- I've never been hugged before."
The Hume, feeling sorry for the little guy says, "Aww you poor thing, I'll give you a hug!"
Much to the Taru's delight, the Hume bends down and hugs the Taru.
"Oh thank you, thank you" he replies, "You've made a poor Taru happy!"
The Hume smiles and walks away.
A few minutes later, the Taru starts to cry again, just as a tall, elegant Elvaan female Paladin is walking by.
"Taru, why do you cry?" she asks.
"You see," the Taru sniffles, "Everyone finds me repulsive and all I've ever wanted was to be kissed by a beautiful woman."
Feeling a little leary, the Elvaan bends down a plants a kiss on the Taru's lips.
"There, good Tarutaru," she mumbles, "There is your kiss from a beautiful woman."
"Oh thank you, fair Elvaan, you've made me a happy Taru!"
An hour or so passes and the Taru begins to cry once again.
"Tarrru, what's trrroubling ya?"
The Taru turns to see a gorgeous Mithra Black Mage throwing the Taru a suspicious look from beneath her pointy hat.
"Well, my lady," the Taru starts, "You see, I have no arms and no legs and well..."
"Yes Tarrru, what is it?"
"I've-" the Taru continued, "I've never been fuc[/b]ked before."
The Mithra puts a paw to her chin and thinks.
"Well Tarrru," she says with a wily grin, "This is yourrr lucky day. Wait herrre."
The wide-eyed Taru nods anxiously to the Mithra as she runs off and out of sight.
"Wow, I'm finally going to get fuc[b]ked, this is great!" He thinks to himself.
A minute later, the Taru sees the Mithra appear on the horizon, getting closer and closer. But she isn't alone.
Behind her is a huge train consisting of two Bogys, six Goblins and a few damselflies.
The Taru's eyes widen in terror as the Mithra arrives with the mobs, not able to utter a single word.
She walks over, stands right next to the Taru, closes her eyes and calmly starts casting Warp.
"Now," the Mithra laughs as she slowly fades away, "Now you'rrre fuc[b][/b]ked!"
Edited, Tue Apr 26 17:07:17 2005 by Solrain
LMAO I like that one solrain.
/clap
Good one!
Good one!
43 posts
HAHAHAHA! thats pretty good.
hehe that's even funnier than the non-FFXI version :)
Dang, I'm sooooo addicted to this game^^
Ok here's one. I think someone's posted it on this board before, but I first heard it long before it was posted here. Gonna re-post in this thread for others that never saw it.
A traveler stops at a lone house one night seeking refuge from the elements. An asian man answers the door, and inquires what the traveler wants.
"Might I spend the night here?" the traveler asks the man at the door.
"Of course, but on one condition. If you lay one finger on my daughter, I will bestow upon you the three most terrible of ancient curses that I know."
The traveler quickly agress thinking to himself,
"That won't be a problem."
Just at that moment the most beautiful women the traveler had ever laid eyes on walked down the stairs. This....this was the man's daughter. Stalwart in his promise he was determined not to fall prey to temptation. Although...was that a glimmer of a smile she flashed this way?
*Ohhhhhhh Yeaaaaaaaah*Ahem*Sorry:)*
Well the night passes without any problems and soon enough it is time for bed. He is shown to his room and he sits down on the bed. Sometime in the middle of the night he can stand the call of nature no longer. He rushes into the daughter's room just across the hall, and there she is laying awake in her bed waiting for him.
*Section deleted for the young'ans*
He quietly tip-toes back to his room, and falls asleep very much contented.
The next morning the traveler awakes to find a weight on his chest. It is a good sized stone, a small boulder we'll call it, that is sitting on his chest with a note on it. The man reads the note. It says, "Ancient Curse #1: Boulder On Chest". The man laughs, throws the boulder out the window, thinking to himself along the lines of, "Is this the best the old man can come up with?"
It is just then that he notices a second note on the window sill. It read, "Ancient Curse #2:Rope From Boulder Tied To 'Left ********'". The traveler quickly decides that a few broken bones is better than castration so he throws himself out the window, from the second story mind you.
In the short amount of time he is falling he notices yet a third sign planted in the yard, large enough for him to read from his height. It reads, "Ancient Curse #3:Rope From 'Right ********' Tied To Bedpost".
All I can say, as a guy.....OUCH!!!!!!!!
Edited, Tue Apr 26 21:33:16 2005 by Gamion
Dang, I'm sooooo addicted to this game^^
Ok here's one. I think someone's posted it on this board before, but I first heard it long before it was posted here. Gonna re-post in this thread for others that never saw it.
A traveler stops at a lone house one night seeking refuge from the elements. An asian man answers the door, and inquires what the traveler wants.
"Might I spend the night here?" the traveler asks the man at the door.
"Of course, but on one condition. If you lay one finger on my daughter, I will bestow upon you the three most terrible of ancient curses that I know."
The traveler quickly agress thinking to himself,
"That won't be a problem."
Just at that moment the most beautiful women the traveler had ever laid eyes on walked down the stairs. This....this was the man's daughter. Stalwart in his promise he was determined not to fall prey to temptation. Although...was that a glimmer of a smile she flashed this way?
*Ohhhhhhh Yeaaaaaaaah*Ahem*Sorry:)*
Well the night passes without any problems and soon enough it is time for bed. He is shown to his room and he sits down on the bed. Sometime in the middle of the night he can stand the call of nature no longer. He rushes into the daughter's room just across the hall, and there she is laying awake in her bed waiting for him.
*Section deleted for the young'ans*
He quietly tip-toes back to his room, and falls asleep very much contented.
The next morning the traveler awakes to find a weight on his chest. It is a good sized stone, a small boulder we'll call it, that is sitting on his chest with a note on it. The man reads the note. It says, "Ancient Curse #1: Boulder On Chest". The man laughs, throws the boulder out the window, thinking to himself along the lines of, "Is this the best the old man can come up with?"
It is just then that he notices a second note on the window sill. It read, "Ancient Curse #2:Rope From Boulder Tied To 'Left ********'". The traveler quickly decides that a few broken bones is better than castration so he throws himself out the window, from the second story mind you.
In the short amount of time he is falling he notices yet a third sign planted in the yard, large enough for him to read from his height. It reads, "Ancient Curse #3:Rope From 'Right ********' Tied To Bedpost".
All I can say, as a guy.....OUCH!!!!!!!!
Edited, Tue Apr 26 21:33:16 2005 by Gamion
What did the sunbather at the beach say to Michael Jackson?
Get out of my son!
Get out of my son!
A guy goes to the zoo one day, and while standing in front of the gorilla's cage, a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless. When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident to the zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that pulling down your eyelid means "F**k you!" in gorilla language. The explanation didn't make the victim feel any better and he vowed revenge.
The next day he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and over to the gorilla's cage, where he tossed a hat, a knife, and a party horn. Knowing that gorillas were natural mimics, he put on a party hat.
The gorilla looked at him, looked at the hat, and put it on. Next, he picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla picked up his horn and did the same. Then the man picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out of his pants, and sliced it in half.
The gorilla looked at the knife, looked at his own crotch, looked at the man, and pulled down his eyelid.
The next day he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and over to the gorilla's cage, where he tossed a hat, a knife, and a party horn. Knowing that gorillas were natural mimics, he put on a party hat.
The gorilla looked at him, looked at the hat, and put it on. Next, he picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla picked up his horn and did the same. Then the man picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out of his pants, and sliced it in half.
The gorilla looked at the knife, looked at his own crotch, looked at the man, and pulled down his eyelid.
1 more ...
King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the wizard was showing him his latest invention. It was a chastity belt, except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place.
"Why this is no good, Merlin!" the King exclaimed, "Just look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect the Queen?"
"Ah, sire, just observe," said Merlin. He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two.
"Merlin, you are a genius!" exclaimed the grateful monarch. "Now I can leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected."
After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out upon his Quest. Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately he assembled all of his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for an informal 'short arm' inspection. Sure enough, each and every one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them, except Sir Galahad.
"Sir Galahad," exclaimed King Arthur. "My one and only true knight. Only you among all the nobles have been true to me.
What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours!"
But alas, Sir Galahad was speechless
King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the wizard was showing him his latest invention. It was a chastity belt, except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place.
"Why this is no good, Merlin!" the King exclaimed, "Just look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect the Queen?"
"Ah, sire, just observe," said Merlin. He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two.
"Merlin, you are a genius!" exclaimed the grateful monarch. "Now I can leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected."
After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out upon his Quest. Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately he assembled all of his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for an informal 'short arm' inspection. Sure enough, each and every one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them, except Sir Galahad.
"Sir Galahad," exclaimed King Arthur. "My one and only true knight. Only you among all the nobles have been true to me.
What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours!"
But alas, Sir Galahad was speechless
Scholar
35 posts
Ok, this isn't a formal joke, but it got me laughing.
I decided to lvl my bard...for fun. Anyway I had some fun dunes encounters.
I guess there's a rumor going around with the lower lvls, that if you unequip yourleg armor, you're less likely to be detected by sound...because you dont make as much sound when you walk?
And if I'm ever pulling in a party I'm adopting this monk's pull...style (it wasn't a macro so I don't know what to call it).
<party> random chatter[/Black]
<puller> now
<party> random chatter
*Puller runs into party with mob*
/suprised
he refined it later to:
<puller> lizard
/wait 5
<puller> now
=============================================
What did the hot dog say when he won the race?
I'm the weiner...
I'm such a child ^.^
Edited, Wed Apr 27 17:54:59 2005 by Kaikat
I decided to lvl my bard...for fun. Anyway I had some fun dunes encounters.
I guess there's a rumor going around with the lower lvls, that if you unequip yourleg armor, you're less likely to be detected by sound...because you dont make as much sound when you walk?
And if I'm ever pulling in a party I'm adopting this monk's pull...style (it wasn't a macro so I don't know what to call it).
<party> random chatter[/Black]
<puller> now
<party> random chatter
*Puller runs into party with mob*
/suprised
he refined it later to:
<puller> lizard
/wait 5
<puller> now
=============================================
What did the hot dog say when he won the race?
I'm the weiner...
I'm such a child ^.^
Edited, Wed Apr 27 17:54:59 2005 by Kaikat
Princess Chidahlia
wrote:
wrote:
since I'm from TX ^.~
really? where from TX are you from?
this woman gets tired of the dateing game and decides to try the personal ads.
her ad she posted was short and simple:
SWF looking for a man who wont run around on me, wont beat on me, and can satisfy my sexual needs.
after a couple weeks of no responses, she was thinking that there was no one for her in the world.
then one day her doorbell rings.. she steps to the door and finds a midget dude in a wheelchair with no arms or legs.
she asks what he wants and he says hes there to answer the personal ad in the paper. She asked the midget dude with no arms or legs if he thought he could meet her requirements she had listed.
the no armed, no legged midget dude said "well, i got no arms, so i cant beat on you, and i got no legs so i cant run around on you. that good enough?"
she asked if he thought he could satisfy her sexual needs as well. he replied "I rang that damn doorbell didnt I?"
her ad she posted was short and simple:
SWF looking for a man who wont run around on me, wont beat on me, and can satisfy my sexual needs.
after a couple weeks of no responses, she was thinking that there was no one for her in the world.
then one day her doorbell rings.. she steps to the door and finds a midget dude in a wheelchair with no arms or legs.
she asks what he wants and he says hes there to answer the personal ad in the paper. She asked the midget dude with no arms or legs if he thought he could meet her requirements she had listed.
the no armed, no legged midget dude said "well, i got no arms, so i cant beat on you, and i got no legs so i cant run around on you. that good enough?"
she asked if he thought he could satisfy her sexual needs as well. he replied "I rang that damn doorbell didnt I?"
Quote:
Group Therapy
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children...... "You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turns to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers, "Come on, ****, we're leaving."
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children...... "You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turns to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers, "Come on, ****, we're leaving."
This one made me laugh a little bit. Back in highschool, my anatomy teacher told us a different joke, only it was couples that were being judged at the gates of heaven.
It was the same idea, "John, you were so obessed with money that you married a woman named Penny" etc.
The way it ended though, was instead the third and final couple said "Come on Fanny, we're getting out of here."
13 posts
A construction worker is having problems going to the bathroom. So he goes to see his doctor. He tells his doctor that he is constipated. The doctor examines him for a minute or so and then he tells his patient to lean over the table. He leans over the table and his doctor hits him on his butt with a baseball bat, then tells him to go to the bathroom. After the guy comes out, he says to his doctor "Thanks Doc, I feel great! What should I do?" His doctor replies "Stop wiping with cement bags."
How do you make holy water holy?
You take some water and boil the hell out of it.
How do you make holy water holy?
You take some water and boil the hell out of it.
Quote:
really? where from TX are you from?
Houston, Hip ^.~
(Woulda responded sooner, but haven't visited this post in a while... lolz)
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