Quote:
In Lower Jueno, at the bottom of the stair case, there is a diamond-shaped yellow light that hangs down from the arch above, illuminating the steps at night, casting shadows across it.
The Goddess Tower's map of the nighttime sky lists constellations on the observatory ceiling that you can actually find in the nighttime sky.
The three small black birds that fly over the arch that the ship going to Selbina goes through in order to get to Mhaura.
The glow of the purple crystal pond in Zi'Tah, filling up the entire pond and spilling over it a little bit after a rainstorm.
The beautiful glow of the aurora boralis in Qufim right after double light days.
The Twinkle Tree lighting up with its beautiful show of blue sparkles, like blue fairies floating above and around you, over and below you during a full moon.
The rainbows that arc across La'Theine Plateau seemingly at random.
The way the feathers of a Yagudo move while the Yaggudo is standing still, pulsating with every one of its breaths in first person mode.
The plants that are on the beach in Valkrum Dunes, and bend and flex in the water each time the sea waves lap against the shore.
Taikobo forever bazaaring his way through life in Southern San D' Oria with that silly pumpkin hat on, and nothing else on. Ever.
And lastly, the beautiful sunsets at Batallia Downs, sitting on the cliffs at the south eastern corner, away from the world...
You want to know why I keep playing? I keep playing because of these things, and those things like these that I have yet to see and find.
The people are wonderful, and some of them...I know I could count among my friends here in this vr world, and perhaps even in the real world.
But the beauty of this world is first and formost forever in my mind, and is why I still play.
And so I will play ad infinitium, until death does me and this world apart.
The Goddess Tower's map of the nighttime sky lists constellations on the observatory ceiling that you can actually find in the nighttime sky.
The three small black birds that fly over the arch that the ship going to Selbina goes through in order to get to Mhaura.
The glow of the purple crystal pond in Zi'Tah, filling up the entire pond and spilling over it a little bit after a rainstorm.
The beautiful glow of the aurora boralis in Qufim right after double light days.
The Twinkle Tree lighting up with its beautiful show of blue sparkles, like blue fairies floating above and around you, over and below you during a full moon.
The rainbows that arc across La'Theine Plateau seemingly at random.
The way the feathers of a Yagudo move while the Yaggudo is standing still, pulsating with every one of its breaths in first person mode.
The plants that are on the beach in Valkrum Dunes, and bend and flex in the water each time the sea waves lap against the shore.
Taikobo forever bazaaring his way through life in Southern San D' Oria with that silly pumpkin hat on, and nothing else on. Ever.
And lastly, the beautiful sunsets at Batallia Downs, sitting on the cliffs at the south eastern corner, away from the world...
You want to know why I keep playing? I keep playing because of these things, and those things like these that I have yet to see and find.
The people are wonderful, and some of them...I know I could count among my friends here in this vr world, and perhaps even in the real world.
But the beauty of this world is first and formost forever in my mind, and is why I still play.
And so I will play ad infinitium, until death does me and this world apart.
I wrote this post back in the first week of November, 2004.
As I happened by chance back on this quote, and go to these place, I find that most of these things fill me with a sense of sadness, and at times with a deep hatred of this world without me being able to understand why.
Even the light at the bottom of the stairs in Jueno, that glows softly throughout the night, that used to light my heart and send it into the heavens, is starting to lose its grasp on me.
Some of you know that I have been feeling this way for a while...and I just can't ignore these feelings anymore.
My first impulse was to retire from FFXI, and play the Wish beta. To be honest, when I first started FFXI, I only meant it as a "starter" MMORPG, as a game to get my feet wet so I could jump into Wish with a full MMORPG experiance underneath my belt. (And no, I am not gonna count my two weeks playing a friends EQ account as a true mmo experiance.) Gradually, I fell for the world, and the people in it.
Yet, by the time I downloaded the Wish beta, and applied to participate in it, it was closed down. I couldn't get in at all. I figured it must be fated that I am meant to play FFXI until its end.
So I am not quitting the game, though the urge is still always there.
What should I do, to get my feelings for this world back? What should I do to not feel like quitting at times anymore? I am desperate.
And please don't say take a break, that didn't work when my account got cancelled not too long ago, and I was forced to take a "vacation" for two weeks. That didn't work out too well lol...
Sidenote: If you can find the song "Fuyu No Uta", listen to it. It was given to me by someone who I used to know, and it is very pretty^^