Ran across this and nearly choked and died on my midnight snack from laughing so hard.
So I thought I'd bring the concept here.
Alternate, abrupt endings for your favorite Final Fantasy games.
SPOILERS POSSIBLE
Final Fantasy VI
When Terra falls through a weakened floor in the Narshe Mines while fleeing the town guards, she lands headfirst on Mog, killing both. Locke arrives later, shrugs, and walks away whistling.
Final Fantasy VII
In President Shinra's office, after a Sephiroth clone has run the President through.
Heidigger: They say no one but Sephiroth is strong enough to wield that sword.
Cloud: Oh bullsh[/b]it. Here, watch.
Cloud walks up, yanks the sword out, loses his grip and balance, and manages to decapitate himself.
Barret: Hell, I can do better than that...
Final Fantasy Tactics
While Ramza Beoulve and Gafgarion are engaged with the troops trying to kidnap the princess, Delita sneaks into the back of Orbonne Monestary. At this precise instant, the monestary is struck by lightning, instantly burning to the ground.
Final Fantasy IX
While the airship is trying to get through the closing gate to escape the Black Waltz.
Zidane: We can make it! We're gonna make it!
Obviously, they don't make it.
-OR-
When Garnet as a child is escaping the ruin of the town of summoners (the name of which I don't recall) in a cheap little rowboat on the ocean in a [b]huge storm, physics actually plays a factor and they drown.
Final Fantasy X
While Tidus is hanging from a piece of broken pavement in front of Auron in Zanarkand, with Sin directly overhead.
Auron: *looking at Sin* You are sure?
Auron looks down and reaches for Tidus and sees his broken body 40 stories below.
And finally
Final Fantasy Mystic Quest
Whoever's idea this was dies of a fatal heartattack and while simultaneously being devoured by geckos before even thinking of creating it.
Well, I'd settle for just the geckos I suppose.
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Abrupt Endings for Final FantasyFollow
Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles--After the programmers and people responsible for such a dumbed down solo FF adventure are mysteriously dragged into the street and shot in the stomach to bleed to death the game suddenly has an actual ending!
Final Fantasy X-2--All the guys playing this game finally admit that yes, we do enjoy playing dress up with dolls (and yes I played this game, still need all the damned dress spheres ><)
Final Fantasy XI--In a sweeping sudden fit of morality SE changes the programming to remove all gilsellers and cheaters...thus stopping human nature and ending the game. Plus all the Mithra, Humes, Elvaans, Tarutaru and yes even the Galka (im sure someone out there has a thing for the Galka) dance around naked.
Edited, Fri Jan 7 14:10:38 2005 by YukioOfBismarck
Final Fantasy X-2--All the guys playing this game finally admit that yes, we do enjoy playing dress up with dolls (and yes I played this game, still need all the damned dress spheres ><)
Final Fantasy XI--In a sweeping sudden fit of morality SE changes the programming to remove all gilsellers and cheaters...thus stopping human nature and ending the game. Plus all the Mithra, Humes, Elvaans, Tarutaru and yes even the Galka (im sure someone out there has a thing for the Galka) dance around naked.
Edited, Fri Jan 7 14:10:38 2005 by YukioOfBismarck
Final Fantasy the Movie - We all figured out, before we wasted our lives watching this movie, that it had absolutely nothing even remotely related to any final fantasy game and save ourselves the horror and money by not going to see it.
Final Fantasy I
-you beat Garland the first time...and he actually dies.
-you beat Garland the first time...and he actually dies.
Final Fantasy I
-you beat Garland the first time...and he actually dies.
Final Fantasy X-2
-game producers realize what a load of **** they are making and decide the whole idea completely
-you beat Garland the first time...and he actually dies.
Final Fantasy X-2
-game producers realize what a load of **** they are making and decide the whole idea completely
Ya know, (and Merodi made fun of me for this) even though I wanted to kill someone for all the J-Pop meets Charlie's Angels crap and a completely unbalanced job system in FFX-2 I still liked it for the story.
Specifically the fleshing out of the history of Spira, and the Crimson Guard.
I dunno, I just really liked Spira as a world and enjoyed seeing more of it, even if I did have to put up with a whole lot of annoying crap.
I also catch a lot of flack for being an old-school FF player (played every single one when it first came out) but liking any from 7 onward. You know the type. FF-snobs.
I take quality where I can get it, and FFX was a quality work.
Anyway.
The stresses between the Youth League and New Yevon could have been much better done, admittedly. The motivation of both groups was pretty much just not liking the other group.
SE should know by now that whenever they're going to right a story with any political plot whatsoever, they need Yasumi Matsumo.
But I digress.
Final Fantasy IV
While Cecil and Kain travel to the village of Mist.
Kain: Aww, come on, open it. I wanna know what it is!
Cecil: No! We're already in enough trouble with the king as it is!
They go to sleep.
Kain sneaks over to the package and begins to open it...
Edited, Fri Jan 7 14:54:30 2005 by nataraja
Specifically the fleshing out of the history of Spira, and the Crimson Guard.
I dunno, I just really liked Spira as a world and enjoyed seeing more of it, even if I did have to put up with a whole lot of annoying crap.
I also catch a lot of flack for being an old-school FF player (played every single one when it first came out) but liking any from 7 onward. You know the type. FF-snobs.
I take quality where I can get it, and FFX was a quality work.
Anyway.
The stresses between the Youth League and New Yevon could have been much better done, admittedly. The motivation of both groups was pretty much just not liking the other group.
SE should know by now that whenever they're going to right a story with any political plot whatsoever, they need Yasumi Matsumo.
But I digress.
Final Fantasy IV
While Cecil and Kain travel to the village of Mist.
Kain: Aww, come on, open it. I wanna know what it is!
Cecil: No! We're already in enough trouble with the king as it is!
They go to sleep.
Kain sneaks over to the package and begins to open it...
Edited, Fri Jan 7 14:54:30 2005 by nataraja
Princess Merodi wrote:
Final Fantasy the Movie - We all figured out, before we wasted our lives watching this movie, that it had absolutely nothing even remotely related to any final fantasy game and save ourselves the horror and money by not going to see it.
Oh Merodi I love you and you know this. But you and me as animators should support all endevors into the art of CG. I was very excited when I saw previous to the movie. When it came out I took 5 kids with me all 9-12 years old, all nephews and nieces. I saw it and loved it, I mean it wasnt about the movie but about the fact that I love to animate and this what I do.
Yeah this movie rocked and I predict that in FFVII Advent Children that Cloud is going to kick Bahamut's *** and die *** well and be reunited with Aeris. As for FFXI will never end, neurol implants will become available in the near future and ppl will plug in fusing them into the game and SE will become the moderator and parents of the 1st Matrix type universe.
This will become the new era of gaming litterally enslaving their costumers and fusing them into the games they play.
Dammit I got to stop drinking during my lunch break.
I liked Spirits Within, I just don't think it warranted the name Final Fantasy. It lacked a sweeping epic feel. I do think it was important, however, in that it was the first movie to really show the potential of CG.
I'm still leary of Advent Children myself, being somewhat affraid that it will be nothing more than FF trying to be cool like the Matrix (all black, cell phones, shades, etc). However the recent trailer I watched had a sort of aesthetic beauty to it that gives me some hope.
Speaking of the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII.
Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
The mysterious hooded man in the wheelchair snags his coverings on something as he rolls past the first time you see him, and you see that he's really <insert name of whoever the rumors say he is today: Sephiroth/Rufus/Tseng/Reno/Reeve/etc ad ifinitum>.
Final Fantasy VII: Before Crisis
Bloody *bleepity bleep* cellphone game crap. I'd best just keep my mouth shut here.
Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core
Well heck, there's not any information about this, other than it being for the DS.
Umm...
Ah, ok. Abrupt ending. It turns out not to be a revolutionary RPG utilizing the touchscreen in unique and clever ways but instead turns out to be a picto-chat type of program.
Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus
I remain unconvinced that this will be anything other than a failed attempt at being cool like Devil May Cry. Hell, DMC 2 even failed at that. Therefore I will not grace it with an abrupt ending until I am otherwise convinced.
FFVII: AC, BC, CC, and DC. How very clever, SE. Very droll.
I propose a fifth FFVII title, FFVII: EC.
More specifically, Final Fantasy VII: ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP!
Edited, Fri Jan 7 15:33:06 2005 by nataraja
I'm still leary of Advent Children myself, being somewhat affraid that it will be nothing more than FF trying to be cool like the Matrix (all black, cell phones, shades, etc). However the recent trailer I watched had a sort of aesthetic beauty to it that gives me some hope.
Speaking of the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII.
Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
The mysterious hooded man in the wheelchair snags his coverings on something as he rolls past the first time you see him, and you see that he's really <insert name of whoever the rumors say he is today: Sephiroth/Rufus/Tseng/Reno/Reeve/etc ad ifinitum>.
Final Fantasy VII: Before Crisis
Bloody *bleepity bleep* cellphone game crap. I'd best just keep my mouth shut here.
Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core
Well heck, there's not any information about this, other than it being for the DS.
Umm...
Ah, ok. Abrupt ending. It turns out not to be a revolutionary RPG utilizing the touchscreen in unique and clever ways but instead turns out to be a picto-chat type of program.
Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus
I remain unconvinced that this will be anything other than a failed attempt at being cool like Devil May Cry. Hell, DMC 2 even failed at that. Therefore I will not grace it with an abrupt ending until I am otherwise convinced.
FFVII: AC, BC, CC, and DC. How very clever, SE. Very droll.
I propose a fifth FFVII title, FFVII: EC.
More specifically, Final Fantasy VII: ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP!
Edited, Fri Jan 7 15:33:06 2005 by nataraja
Quote:
Quote:
Oh Merodi I love you and you know this. But you and me as animators should support all endevors into the art of CG. I was very excited when I saw previous to the movie. When it came out I took 5 kids with me all 9-12 years old, all nephews and nieces. I saw it and loved it, I mean it wasnt about the movie but about the fact that I love to animate and this what I do.
Quote:
I liked Spirits Within, I just don't think it warranted the name Final Fantasy. It lacked a sweeping epic feel. I do think it was important, however, in that it was the first movie to really show the potential of CG.
I gotta agree with you, I love the progression of CG animation, but Nata hit the nail on the head. It didn't warrant the name Final Fantasy. Hell, it coulda been called Aliens and woulda still fit better >.< Having a poster of a chocobo and a guy named Cid does not make it any more Final Fantasy than a guy walking around with wings and a pouch and calling himself a moogle ^^
But it was beautiful, I'll give you that. Advent is the saving grace, and I hope they'd think about releasing it in theaters in the US so the non-gaming public can really see what we're so hyped about in video game story.
Final Fantasy XI: <Player X> walks outside the gates of <insert starter city here> and begins to attack a <Rabbit, Worm, Mandy> and is killed.
Cue cutscene of the Shadow Lord and the beastmen hordes overrunning said city, murdering the townfolk and just creating general havoc.
*The End*
Cue cutscene of the Shadow Lord and the beastmen hordes overrunning said city, murdering the townfolk and just creating general havoc.
*The End*
Xanoxonax wrote:
Final Fantasy XI: <Player X> walks outside the gates of <insert starter city here> and begins to attack a <Rabbit, Worm, Mandy> and is killed.
Cue cutscene of the Shadow Lord and the beastmen hordes overrunning said city, murdering the townfolk and just creating general havoc.
*The End*
Cue cutscene of the Shadow Lord and the beastmen hordes overrunning said city, murdering the townfolk and just creating general havoc.
*The End*
Ahahaha, now that one I like.
Final Fantasy XII
Everyone's favorite efeminant protagonist breaks a nail, screams in horror, and dies from bleeding to death through his shorn cuticle.
Actually I'm looking forward to XII, solely because I trust Yasumi Matsumo implicitly. Hopefully he'll shake off the dust the series has accumulated over the years.
And to correct an earlier comment, FFVII: CC is due out on the PSP, not the DS. I was confusing that with the remake of FFIIIj.
Which makes me even less interested in it, though I secretly harbor more hopes for it than any other part of the Compilation of FFVII.
Princess Merodi wrote:
I gotta agree with you, I love the progression of CG animation, but Nata hit the nail on the head. It didn't warrant the name Final Fantasy. Hell, it coulda been called Aliens and woulda still fit better >.< Having a poster of a chocobo and a guy named Cid does not make it any more Final Fantasy than a guy walking around with wings and a pouch and calling himself a moogle ^^
If I hit the nail on the head, you slammed it so hard it split in two.
I mean, for crying out loud. I'm not that picky. Make it a bit longer (so as to make it feel less rushed), give Cid (or Sid or whatever) a bigger part (I liked him), be a little more clear on some plot points (translation appears to have obscured a few things) and, hell I dunno, have Aki ride a Chocoboo in a dream or something at least and I'll be content. I might not rank it as the mighty among FF, but I'll not feel like a liar calling it by it's full title.
Speaking of Advnet Children When is it Due out. I Keep Hearing May 05, But Before It was Supposed to Be Dec os 04. Are they Pushing it back again or is it Still Slated for 05 05. Also will it be in DVD For or only in PSP for to start?
Machtaru wrote:
Speaking of Advnet Children When is it Due out. I Keep Hearing May 05, But Before It was Supposed to Be Dec os 04. Are they Pushing it back again or is it Still Slated for 05 05. Also will it be in DVD For or only in PSP for to start?
I have yet to see a reliable DVD release date, but May sounds likely; PSP version is still TBA. I do know, however, that the DVD version will be available first.
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