Was I wrong?Follow

Okay, not going to name any names, but I have a story to tell about a blantantly bad party I was in last night. I got a tele there from Jeuno, and went to party as the whm. We had tanks, another rdm, etc.

Immediately, I get killed by a goblin which was too strong that was pulled, and then I remembered-DOH! I had forgotten to set homepoint. So I went back to Jeuno, no big deal. I had a teleport to Holla already waiting for me when I zoned there. Then the leader asks me to disband while he gets someone to replace while I'm on my way walking there from La Theine. I didn't see the sense in it, as I would be there in just a minute, but alright, I did what was said.

I get there, set my homepoint...then he says "Hey, the whm is going to stay. Our RDM is leaving in 15 mins...can you power level us till then and then you can come back in?"

At this point, I'm getting kind of iffy. Here I've sacrificed my life to save the party, as well as lost exp. And then they're asking me to help them stay alive by powerleveling them thus also giving them xp after they had told me I could get right back in?

So I finally got back in the party. First off, one of our tanks d/cs mid battle. No biggy, we have another voker. Then I get hate...voker doesn't voke. -.- So I start to run...then the leader /tells me off for running, telling me I'm supposed to sacrifice myself. (I had already DONE that, difference was, the voker was actually VOKING that tie) So next up, we're getting 50 exp off tough crabs which they have a hell of a time fighting anyway. The puller runs out, pulls, then gets a gob train and zones. Comes out of zones, gobs attack again, he goes back to zone. Then he comes out again...drops dead. Goes back to home point, comes back to party. SO we're finally going again...we take on a vt crab...and we have HELL getting through it...I and the other whm are having to spam cures to keep them alive...finally, THEY die and we get...115 exp. Not worth it...took way too long.

And then, finally, I tell the leader I'm getting tired, and I'll be logging in about 10-15 mins, to just let me know when he found a replacement. (I COULDN'T look for a replacement, they were pulling repetitively, and I was having a hard enough time trying to keep them alive. BESIDES, it's not my JOB to find a replacement, and even if it were, as much trouble as I had been through with the party already you'd think they'd have cut me some slack)Oh no. That was it. I had had it. I LEFT. Logged out.

Was I wrong to do this? I can't see how I was, because honestly, I had already sacrificed myself, and I was having hell. What's next? I'm slightly worried that people are going to be spreading the word that "Dreamar is a bad white age who quits parties without warning" or "DREAMAR IS A HORRID WHM". Just to set the record straight, this is what happened...and I'm...peeved. -.- *huff puff*

Edited, Wed Dec 1 07:15:58 2004 by Dremar

Thank you! :D I don't really think the party was bad, and I'm not going to say that players were bad because that's the only experience I've ever had. I think it was a bit of a mix up between bad luck and a poorly put together party. And then add rising tempers to that list and I think that's what caused this.

But to be honest, I am glad I left. If I had died one more time that night I don't know what I would have done.

And also, to combat that devil who's tearing down your ratings, you get a rating up too, as I'm doing in all of your threads. ^_^

Well don't spam me with rate ups. If you appreciate a post I've made in some way, rate it up. Just don't rate me up for the really pointless ones (I recently posted the words "Me too" and that's it, for crying out loud.)

I'm a post *****, I admit, but I'm no Karma *****.

I just feel rather harrassed and insulted.

Nevertheless I thank you. ^^

/bow Dreamar

*raises hand*

Umm. when did it become the or a whm's job to sacrifice himself for the pt, last I checked it's the tanks job to do that.

I really hate to say it, but chalk it up to "the dunes", and really bad luck. I was extremly fourtunate to get some awesome pt's in the dunes as pld and on my other char, blm.

Were the rest of the pt member new players and just had no clue or were they on adv jobs. I personally think that the dunes and sometimes even qufim have an aura around them that make people stupid. I have seen some pretty dumb stuff done in these 2 zones by people who have been in both at least once and in the case of the dunes twice, manin and sub jobs. It's like they walk into the zone and totally forget what they have learned in the past 30 or so levels, well what they have "hopefully" learned.

I would've left when they asked me to PL them. That pretty much counts as an insult to me. You invite me, I die for you, then you don't let me back in. No, way.

Personally I would've told them how I felt before I left. I'm not a big fan of the /logout tactic. If I'm upset with a party, they hear about it. Obviously it's normally not well-received. I usually do leave a bad party if there's nothing that can be done to "make it better." I'm in this game to have fun and get levels. Can't do that when I'm stuck with a party that would rather argue about stupid crap and refuse to work together.

Anyway, simply logging out or disbanding without telling the party why is not solving anything. Sure, you've escaped, but they learned nothing, and just write you off as "an arrogant WHM." I know to some it means little since WHMs generally get invites rather quickly, but that's just being ignorant (<- with ignorant being used correctly, mind you). That group of people you left will do the same thing they did with you on the next hapless party member. I know some parties just don't seem "worth it" to try and set straight, but I'm not saying you have to be civil about it. >_>

This applies to all jobs too. Don't just run away from a party that's going bad, tell them WHY you're leaving. Maybe, just maybe, they'll learn.

....well...you can hope anyway.

I gather that he didn't just suddenly log out, but informed them that he was leaving in 15 minutes.

Regarding not letting anyone die, I understand. Nataraja is a born and bread tank, it's all I use him for. And I hate it when others die on my watch.

Dying for a pt is, in certain circumstances, the absolute right thing to do. Just in my case, if my whm dies I feel that I have not done my job.

I have been in a few pt's where people are "there" and go afk w/o saying anything, fall asleep at the keyboard or whatever. When something like this happens it's, cya all, sorry this isnt working.

As far as you being right or wrong, that is something that only you can decide. I have just made up an excuse or 2 here and there to get out of a bad pt and sometimes have regretted it and sometimes not.

And we all have runs of bad luck, for me it's been the past few days. Sitting lfg w/o any invites or luck in getting a pt together. Several hours last night trying to get mold with only 1 drop :/ Getting paper and coal went a lot quicker.

Sometimes if I've been in a bad party and got into a disagreement with one or more members (Say, tank isn't voking off me as WHM even though he hasn't voked in 3 battles and timer is up, then blames me for spamming cures and pulling hate), I've had this worry. More and more, though, I've found that in general (though with exceptions) really bad players don't frequent these boards enough to add anyone to the bad player's list. If someone is in the dunes and does not know enough to voke the mob frequently and especially when it goes after the WHM and then thinks it's the WHM's fault, they sure as hell aren't going to be posting here in any level of respectable detail.

Staying in a party you hate is probably one of the worst things you can do for yourself and for the people in the party. I'd much rather have a person leave for whatever reason, than stay and act out against people in the group or make rude comments or not play their job right just because they are annoyed with the party.

Not to say that you did any of that. My point is merely, if you're not having a good time and start to feel that irritation bubble boil up, just bow out, you'll be doing yourself and those around you a favor.

And don't worry about getting a "bad name" or anything. There are over 2000 people on the server at any given time. It's not like one little cruddy dunes party is going to make the whole server boycott you.

Heh Dremar, you have the same patience that I do. I find myself staying in bad parties for a long time simply because I said I would pt ><

And I have a NASTY lil habit finding bad pts lol. That is why I stock up on shihei and meat mithkabobs before I go into battle anymore as a white mage. The tanks always seem to forget theirs, and thus have to either run back to Jueno or beg other parties to please sell him or her some.

And then there was that time just recently where I and one other had to give the tank a crash course in how to Skillchain...

That sucked ; ;

Anyway...while you should have told the pt calmly what was wrong with them (as I do after three hours of bad pting), you behaved rather well under the circumstances.

My congradulations.

I think I would have left when they said they were gonna replace you in the time it took to get back, because that would tell me right there they were more interested in self gain than anything else. (Eh, nothing wrong with self gain until it makes you go back on promises, and principles.)

And asking for a PL after you've died and trekked ALL the way back just to stay in a party because you said you would is flat out rude.

So, bad playing aside on their part, the party lead was also not a terribly awesome person.

Reminds me of one of my very very first parties (ever) way back when -- when I got an invite (at 13 thf with no sub, I was quite pleased) and about 30 minutes into the party, in /p the leader said his RL friend wanted in the party and would Ixa mind very much leaving to make room for him.

Nice.