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Entertain me please!Follow
It's only 1:30 pm, I'm stuck at work for another 3 hours with NO work to do, and I'm down in the dumps. Someone tell me a joke and make me laugh, I need entertainment!
what does american beer have in commom with sex in a canoe?
Both F**King close to water.
Edit* msg me if ya want. miss talkin to ya :(
Edited, Wed Nov 10 13:44:27 2004 by GaranTheElvaan
Both F**King close to water.
Edit* msg me if ya want. miss talkin to ya :(
Edited, Wed Nov 10 13:44:27 2004 by GaranTheElvaan
the quote at the bottom of your post reminds me of Hackers the movie...
OK here is a joke...
Say milk 20 times as fast as you can!
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
What do cows drink?
Milk!!!
NO silly they drink water!
OK here is a joke...
Say milk 20 times as fast as you can!
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
milk
What do cows drink?
Milk!!!
NO silly they drink water!
OK
So two guys walk into a bar...
This is pretty stupid actually, you figure after the first guy walked into it, the second guy woulda seen it.
So two guys walk into a bar...
This is pretty stupid actually, you figure after the first guy walked into it, the second guy woulda seen it.
I'm the queen of lame jokes, so...
A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The barkeep says no, and the duck leaves.
The next day, the same thing - duck walks in, "Got any grapes?" The barkeep says no, and the duck leaves again.
When the duck walks in the next day and again asks for grapes, the barkeep gets mad, and says, "If you come in here again and ask for grapes, I'm gonna nail your feet to the floor!"
On the fourth day, the duck walks in again. "Got any nails?" The barkeep says, "No..." The duck replies, "So, got any grapes?"
A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The barkeep says no, and the duck leaves.
The next day, the same thing - duck walks in, "Got any grapes?" The barkeep says no, and the duck leaves again.
When the duck walks in the next day and again asks for grapes, the barkeep gets mad, and says, "If you come in here again and ask for grapes, I'm gonna nail your feet to the floor!"
On the fourth day, the duck walks in again. "Got any nails?" The barkeep says, "No..." The duck replies, "So, got any grapes?"
What do Garan and his jokes have in common?
They both blow me out of the water!
They both blow me out of the water!
I don't know i thought Zylle's was pretty good, my boss wondered what I was laughing at....
ok, here are a few canadian jokes (I believe you're canadian Eleu, am I right?)
JOKE 1
A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?"
"I got it for my wife, eh." answers Bob.
"Oh!" exclaims Doug, "Good trade."
JOKE 2
After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.
The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.
The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.
The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.
The guy from Molson sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The
bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.
The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, "Why aren't you drinking a Molson's?"
The Molson president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."
JOKE 3
A Quebecer*, staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper.
"Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge.
"Toilette pepper!" yelled the Quebecer.
*this is the french population of Canada, you il-informed americans..now reread the joke and LAUGH goddamn it
All I could scrounge up. WE HAVE TOMORROW OFF ELEU!! YEAH FOR REMEMBERANCE DAY!!
JOKE 1
A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?"
"I got it for my wife, eh." answers Bob.
"Oh!" exclaims Doug, "Good trade."
JOKE 2
After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.
The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.
The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.
The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.
The guy from Molson sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The
bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.
The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, "Why aren't you drinking a Molson's?"
The Molson president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."
JOKE 3
A Quebecer*, staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper.
"Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge.
"Toilette pepper!" yelled the Quebecer.
*this is the french population of Canada, you il-informed americans..now reread the joke and LAUGH goddamn it
All I could scrounge up. WE HAVE TOMORROW OFF ELEU!! YEAH FOR REMEMBERANCE DAY!!
You all reminded of me of a lame *** joke...
2 muffins are sitting in the oven.
One muffin turns to the other one and says "Jesus man, It's hot in here!".
The other muffins turns around and screams "Holy ****! It's a talking muffin!!"
How's that for lameness but for some reason I laughed the first time I heard that...I think I need some therapy lol.
And yes Omni, that quote is from Hackers.
2 muffins are sitting in the oven.
One muffin turns to the other one and says "Jesus man, It's hot in here!".
The other muffins turns around and screams "Holy ****! It's a talking muffin!!"
How's that for lameness but for some reason I laughed the first time I heard that...I think I need some therapy lol.
And yes Omni, that quote is from Hackers.
LoL Eleusynia.
lol, didn't know anyone else in the world liked that movie.
I'm Canadian too but also in Ontario...No Rememberance holiday for us :(
oh and love the canuck jokes... lfao
oh and love the canuck jokes... lfao
Can we get this stickied for all the people having a bad day?
Yea I'm Canadian Vim lol. I like the Molson joke ^^
And I dont get tomorrow off either >.< Bastards...although all the companies I work with will be closed, I'll be sitting here with nothing to do ..AGAIN.
Edit: Rate ups for everyone for making me laugh
Edited, Wed Nov 10 14:18:13 2004 by Eleusynia
And I dont get tomorrow off either >.< Bastards...although all the companies I work with will be closed, I'll be sitting here with nothing to do ..AGAIN.
Edit: Rate ups for everyone for making me laugh
Edited, Wed Nov 10 14:18:13 2004 by Eleusynia
/em hugs Eleusynia.
I really hope you feel better. I am experiencing quite similar things right now, if not worse! So if you need a "shoulder to cry on guy" (undergrads, awesome cartoon) then I'm here.
/em plays with Eleusynia's hair.
That always pleases the ladies o_O
I really hope you feel better. I am experiencing quite similar things right now, if not worse! So if you need a "shoulder to cry on guy" (undergrads, awesome cartoon) then I'm here.
/em plays with Eleusynia's hair.
That always pleases the ladies o_O
lol Undergrads..."The duggler!"
Thanks Omni :)
But I dont have any hair (I shave my head)
LoL, I'm kidding :P
Thanks Omni :)
But I dont have any hair (I shave my head)
LoL, I'm kidding :P
OOh look at that a double post! Go me!
Edited, Wed Nov 10 14:53:48 2004 by Eleusynia
Edited, Wed Nov 10 14:53:48 2004 by Eleusynia
LOL! Eleusynia.
/poke Terra
Now, are you guys gonna force me to post my own jokes on my own thread to cheer myself up? Because I AM that sad, and I will do it!
Now, are you guys gonna force me to post my own jokes on my own thread to cheer myself up? Because I AM that sad, and I will do it!
I'm sorry that was my entire repertoire :(
Hmmm. if we dont get today off work in Ontario then why am I at home?
oh yeah! i called in sick xD
oh yeah! i called in sick xD
LoL, I called in sick yesterday so I couldnt today and I cant tomorrow :(
Dude... You suck :)
I hadent called in sick for almost a year... so i figured i was due
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Oh man, haven't read those poo ones in a while, that was great.
I'm gonna have to dig out my Texas Chili Contest Judge email now.
And hey Vim, not all Americans are un-informed, I for one have been to your country^^ Very nice people there, my wife and I loved it :)
I'm gonna have to dig out my Texas Chili Contest Judge email now.
And hey Vim, not all Americans are un-informed, I for one have been to your country^^ Very nice people there, my wife and I loved it :)
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