I could care less about most gear. Super Duper Armor's don't excite me like the crazy Melee's out there. What I do care about is your ability to hit the mob.
So, if I see that a person is thinking that +STR is better than +VIT on a PLD, I won't party with them. Or, if I see that +STR is more important to a DRG, or any class that melee's, than +ACC, I will also not party with them. What is the point of hitting something really hard if you can't ever hit them? Conversely, what is the point of a PLD who hits really hard but also gets hit harder than a WAR?
Also, while gear isn't really important to Mages, spells are. I had to stop for a while and go find a way to get Raise II; that ******* spell. But, I will say that it has come in handy more than 20 times and i've only had it for 4 levels! Reraise II has more than helpful as well.
+1 Gear is good, unless it's not the gear that you should be wearing. Then, what is the point? Your gear may be +1 but it's still a worthless +1.
I guess maybe I care more about gear than i've let on. As a defense, I will say this. In XP parties, it is important to be at your best. By agreeing to take part in a party, you are saying that you have brought your best to the table and will use everything you have for the common good of the group. Individuality, gear that does not make you work at your peak, these things slow the group down. Leveling up is not something that most people enjoy and so, this makes for some grumpy times if someone has become a weak link in the group because of poor choices for sub classes or the inability to farm for gil and buy the gear they need. This can be frustrating as one gets into higher levels and gear moves from being in the 10,000 gil range to the 100,000 gil range all the way up to the 2-3 million gil range, but by purchasing this gear you have shown to those looking to form a party that you are more than capable of performing when you need to.
If people are angry with you for having the best gear, they are merely envious of your ability to find the paintence nessecary to attain your prize. Maybe they'll tell you how they don't like you purchasing gil, maybe they'll yell at you for supporting gil farmers; just ignore them. Black list is there for a reason. No need to put up with the stress of anger in a game that is supposed to be enjoyable.
Looking back on this post, it doesn't even look like I wrote it! But this is how I feel, please forgive me!