Well no doubt it's a really sucky situation then. Money issues really do make things suck (especially in a case like this, where it wasn't even greed).
I guess I can only really offer the same advice then--insist on seeing the uncle. Just say outright to her that it's your family's right to have a relationship with him if you so choose, and that it's wrong for her to say otherwise. If she refuses to let down, request an investigation from the authorities.
But it's really up to how far you want to take this. But it's safe to say that not taking that step will completely sever your family's relationship with your uncle, at least until he is married.
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IDrownFish wrote:
Anyways, you all are horrible, @#%^ed up people
lolgaxe wrote:
Never underestimate the healing power of a massive dong.
I'm so glad my family is only ****** up to the extent that they talk about one another behind their backs.
Belkira the Tulip wrote:
I'm so glad my family is only @#%^ed up to the extent that they talk about one another behind their backs.
Yeah. There's a lot of drama in my family, but none of it comes close to this.
IDrownFish wrote:
Anyways, you all are horrible, @#%^ed up people
lolgaxe wrote:
Never underestimate the healing power of a massive dong.
Strangely enough, this is the first time anything like this had happened. We would visit my grandmother about 2-3 times per week for family dinners, playing card games, hanging out with my cousins and playing video games, etc. We had a very close relationship. Just one of those "Snap" moments I guess.
Can't sleep, clown will eat me.
It just strikes me as really odd that she would accept transferring primary care to your family, but not be willing to transfer control of the money. I can't imagine that she thought your family was going to gamble it all away or something.
Unless she's forgotten that the money is SOLELY for his care and living expenses. Using it to help pay for rent/utilities makes sense, but only for the home he is living in. It's possible that she somehow forgot that fact (after so many years) when she moved, and needed it for her own rent/expenses, but was too ashamed to own up to that.
If those are funds she got used to relying on, she might have justified herself by thinking about how two incomes were going into the house now, as opposed to her one (or her none or social security/whatever). It's really poor logic, but not really outside the realm of believability... It's a small comfort, at least, that it's not quite "greed."
I'm imagining that money never came up in the discussion of the switch in households? That would be the case if this was my family, at least.
Unless she's forgotten that the money is SOLELY for his care and living expenses. Using it to help pay for rent/utilities makes sense, but only for the home he is living in. It's possible that she somehow forgot that fact (after so many years) when she moved, and needed it for her own rent/expenses, but was too ashamed to own up to that.
If those are funds she got used to relying on, she might have justified herself by thinking about how two incomes were going into the house now, as opposed to her one (or her none or social security/whatever). It's really poor logic, but not really outside the realm of believability... It's a small comfort, at least, that it's not quite "greed."
I'm imagining that money never came up in the discussion of the switch in households? That would be the case if this was my family, at least.
IDrownFish wrote:
Anyways, you all are horrible, @#%^ed up people
lolgaxe wrote:
Never underestimate the healing power of a massive dong.
If his mind is, as you say, intact, then you should be treating him as you would any other adult. A physical disability requires the type of care that allows the person to come as close as possible to normal everyday functioning. What it doesn't require is someone else treating the person like they're a child, or intellectually disabled, or in need of any other type of care. He's an adult, you've said he's mentally sound, so that's it. He's got enough problems without other people acting like he needs even more hand holding than he does.
I'm sure you care for him, but ask yourself how you'd want to be treated in his case. If your mind was sound, but your body weak, would you want assistance doing only those things that you couldn't do yourself or would you want someone to act as a parent and give you unwanted advice as though you were a child?
I work with people with severe physical disabilities every day. They just wanted to be treated with the same respect and given the same consideration as everyone else. Sometimes that's hard, because there's a part of us that wants to care for people when they don't need it or want it, but that's OUR problem, not theirs.
Nexa
I'm sure you care for him, but ask yourself how you'd want to be treated in his case. If your mind was sound, but your body weak, would you want assistance doing only those things that you couldn't do yourself or would you want someone to act as a parent and give you unwanted advice as though you were a child?
I work with people with severe physical disabilities every day. They just wanted to be treated with the same respect and given the same consideration as everyone else. Sometimes that's hard, because there's a part of us that wants to care for people when they don't need it or want it, but that's OUR problem, not theirs.
Nexa
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.â€
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
Oh, and just read one of your follow-ups: I'm sure you love your grandmother and don't want to accuse her of anything, but what she's doing is terribly wrong...far more so than just being selfish, she'd denying your uncle the possibility of saving any of that money that he doesn't need immediately for future assistance that he might not otherwise be able to cover. This could be disastrous for him in the long run. It's wonderful RIGHT NOW that he has family willing to assist him, and essentially at their own expense, but **** happens and if he's eventually put in the position where he needs that money and has to go through a legal battle to get it...well...
Unless this woman is satan herself, it could be for the best if she gains control of your uncle's money. If he's smart, he'll get a pre-nup and the money will be safer than it is in your grandmother's hands. If he's really smart, he'll get a pre-nup and make your father power of attorney.
Nexa
Unless this woman is satan herself, it could be for the best if she gains control of your uncle's money. If he's smart, he'll get a pre-nup and the money will be safer than it is in your grandmother's hands. If he's really smart, he'll get a pre-nup and make your father power of attorney.
Nexa
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.â€
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
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