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First foray into dating.Follow

#1 Sep 17 2011 at 11:01 AM Rating: Excellent
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This guy and I have been texting/talking for the past couple of weeks and we made plans to meet up last night for drinks. I got there a bit early and ordered a drink to calm my nerves before he got there. The time we agreed to meet passed, I texted him asking if he had made it there yet, and no answer... I figured he might be driving and didn't want to reply so I waited for about 30min before texting him again. Still no answer. I gave it another 30min and left to go meet up with friends. Still haven't heard from him. I got stood up... First dating experience in 9yrs and I feel disappointed and dispirited. I was probably expecting too much and got my hopes up but it seemed like we really were hitting it off. We have a lot in common and can talk for hours which made his absence last night confusing. Should I try to make contact today and see just what the hell happened? Or write it off and go on?
#2 Sep 17 2011 at 11:12 AM Rating: Good
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:( That really sucks.

But seriously, make contact.

If there was some legitimate mistake or issue, then you still have the potential to see him again.

If not, then you get to make it clear that his actions were unacceptable, which will be good for you. Plus, it might keep him from standing someone else up in the future.



Edited, Sep 17th 2011 1:12pm by idiggory
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#3 Sep 17 2011 at 11:19 AM Rating: Good
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idiggory, King of Bards wrote:
:( That really sucks.

But seriously, make contact.

If there was some legitimate mistake or issue, then you still have the potential to see him again.

If not, then you get to make it clear that his actions were unacceptable, which will be good for you. Plus, it might keep him from standing someone else up in the future.



Edited, Sep 17th 2011 1:12pm by idiggory



See, that's what I keep thinking. Maybe something happened and he just couldn't make it, but then I am thinking what could be so catastrophic that he at least couldn't text me to tell me he wasn't going to be there. I mean, sending a text takes like 5 seconds. I am torn... Haven't decided exactly what to do yet. Thanks for the input!
#4 Sep 17 2011 at 11:23 AM Rating: Excellent
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1. Make 2nd Date
2. Stand him up
3. ????
4. Profit
#5 Sep 17 2011 at 11:27 AM Rating: Good
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Bardalicious wrote:
1. Make 2nd Date
2. Stand him up
3. ????
4. Profit



As satisfying as that would be, I couldn't do that to someone.
#6 Sep 17 2011 at 11:39 AM Rating: Good
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This certainly means he's dead.
#7 Sep 17 2011 at 11:42 AM Rating: Good
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I hope not. I will feel really bad about getting pissed off that he wasn't there.
#8 Sep 17 2011 at 11:44 AM Rating: Good
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Delva wrote:
I hope not. I will feel really bad about getting pissed off that he wasn't there.


I believe my correct response would be to ask for tits to determine the probability of the scenario in OP.
#9 Sep 17 2011 at 12:02 PM Rating: Excellent
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Paskil wrote:
Delva wrote:
I hope not. I will feel really bad about getting pissed off that he wasn't there.


I believe my correct response would be to ask for tits to determine the probability of the scenario in OP.


Is that the long way of saying "TITS OR GTFO"?
#10 Sep 17 2011 at 12:49 PM Rating: Excellent
I wouldn't contact him. If there was an issue, he could have texted you or called you today. If he contacts you and has a good reason for missing the date then good. If he doesn't then you haven't expended unnecessary energy on some rude dude.



*edited to add necessary contraction

Edited, Sep 17th 2011 2:50pm by eiran
#11 Sep 17 2011 at 1:32 PM Rating: Excellent
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Maybe you had a date with Electron Boy? Smiley: frown
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#12 Sep 17 2011 at 1:36 PM Rating: Excellent
What was the last time you contacted him prior to the date? It could be that he forgot the time or the place and lost his phone. Simpler, more stupid things have happened. Then again, he could have merely stood you up. I wouldn't fret either way, but it sounds like you've sent him enough text messages. Move on. If he contacts you with a reasonable explanation, good, maybe you get a second chance. Otherwise, his loss.

#13 Sep 17 2011 at 1:44 PM Rating: Good
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I agree with Daffy.
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#14 Sep 17 2011 at 2:06 PM Rating: Good
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Not that I'm recommending a course of action one way or another, but missing texts is pretty easy to do. Phones die or can accidentally be left off, or some people flat out ignore their texts most of the time.

Edited, Sep 17th 2011 3:06pm by Allegory
#15 Sep 17 2011 at 5:35 PM Rating: Excellent
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I think this is a sign you are going to die a lonely old woman with a massive amount of cats.
#16 Sep 17 2011 at 6:02 PM Rating: Decent
Tyrrant wrote:
I think this is a sign you are going to die a lonely old woman with a massive amount of cats.


As much as I enjoy this post, it's a terrible thing to say =p

Talk to him, see what happened. If he has a decent excuse, try again. If he has a ******** excuse, then see what Tyrrant said above.
#17 Sep 17 2011 at 6:20 PM Rating: Excellent
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We were texting earlier that day. I'd say not more than maybe 4-5hrs before we were supposed to meet. I haven't talked to him at all today and I have made up my mind, I'm not going to. His loss, not mine.

Tyrrant: It's funny you say that. I saw a bumper sticker today that said, "I am one more bad relationship away from having 30 cats." I got a kick out of it.
#18 Sep 17 2011 at 9:26 PM Rating: Good
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Delva wrote:
We were texting earlier that day. I'd say not more than maybe 4-5hrs before we were supposed to meet. I haven't talked to him at all today and I have made up my mind, I'm not going to. His loss, not mine.

Tyrrant: It's funny you say that. I saw a bumper sticker today that said, "I am one more bad relationship away from having 30 cats." I got a kick out of it.



It's ultimately your choice, but I really think the healthy choice here is to talk to him. Not only because there's still that small chance it was actually a mistake, but also because it's always better to confront someone when they hurt you.
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#19 Sep 18 2011 at 4:05 AM Rating: Good
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idiggory, King of Bards wrote:
Delva wrote:
We were texting earlier that day. I'd say not more than maybe 4-5hrs before we were supposed to meet. I haven't talked to him at all today and I have made up my mind, I'm not going to. His loss, not mine.

Tyrrant: It's funny you say that. I saw a bumper sticker today that said, "I am one more bad relationship away from having 30 cats." I got a kick out of it.



It's ultimately your choice, but I really think the healthy choice here is to talk to him. Not only because there's still that small chance it was actually a mistake, but also because it's always better to confront someone when they hurt you.


Or just get over it? If it was plaguing her terribly and she was spending undue effort thinking about it, or if it was haunting her every waking moment or something, sure, but I don't think that's the case. It's a case of "Man, that sucks". (Or, coincidentally, Man that sucks)

If you stopped and tracked down people every time they were inconsiderate you wouldn't get much done.

Edited, Sep 18th 2011 6:06am by Timelordwho
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#20 Sep 18 2011 at 6:49 AM Rating: Excellent
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Timelordwho wrote:
If you stopped and tracked down people every time they were inconsiderate you wouldn't get much done.

^

How did you guys meet? Dating site? Facebook? In person? I've been stood up multiple times by online ladies only to discover they were not who they said they were. Fake profiles are very common.
#21 Sep 18 2011 at 8:39 AM Rating: Good
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Timelordwho wrote:
idiggory, King of Bards wrote:
Delva wrote:
We were texting earlier that day. I'd say not more than maybe 4-5hrs before we were supposed to meet. I haven't talked to him at all today and I have made up my mind, I'm not going to. His loss, not mine.

Tyrrant: It's funny you say that. I saw a bumper sticker today that said, "I am one more bad relationship away from having 30 cats." I got a kick out of it.



It's ultimately your choice, but I really think the healthy choice here is to talk to him. Not only because there's still that small chance it was actually a mistake, but also because it's always better to confront someone when they hurt you.


Or just get over it? If it was plaguing her terribly and she was spending undue effort thinking about it, or if it was haunting her every waking moment or something, sure, but I don't think that's the case. It's a case of "Man, that sucks". (Or, coincidentally, Man that sucks)

If you stopped and tracked down people every time they were inconsiderate you wouldn't get much done.

Edited, Sep 18th 2011 6:06am by Timelordwho


I think the fact that this was her first date in years changes things--it's easy to just move on when you didn't need to psych yourself up for the date in the first place.
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Anyways, you all are horrible, @#%^ed up people

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#22 Sep 18 2011 at 2:35 PM Rating: Good
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Kaain wrote:
Timelordwho wrote:
If you stopped and tracked down people every time they were inconsiderate you wouldn't get much done.

^

How did you guys meet? Dating site? Facebook? In person? I've been stood up multiple times by online ladies only to discover they were not who they said they were. Fake profiles are very common.


I don't date much so I've never been stood up/stood someone else up. They've all been set up in person, often times met through work/acquaintances of people at work so there is a bit more of a social standard of basic courtesy as opposed to an online association.( ie actual relationship consequences for failing to show up.)
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#23 Sep 18 2011 at 4:07 PM Rating: Default
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Delva wrote:
We were texting earlier that day. I'd say not more than maybe 4-5hrs before we were supposed to meet. I haven't talked to him at all today and I have made up my mind, I'm not going to. His loss, not mine.

Tyrrant: It's funny you say that. I saw a bumper sticker today that said, "I am one more bad relationship away from having 30 cats." I got a kick out of it.


30 or 130?
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#24 Sep 18 2011 at 7:04 PM Rating: Good
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He use to come up to the tattoo shop I use to work at. We flirted back on forth a lot but I was with someone at the time so that's all it ever was. I still go up to the tattoo shop all the time to see everyone and one day he was up there. We got to talking and I had to go. He was asking one of the people that work there about me and found out I was single. She called me and asked me if he could have my number. We started texting and decided to go out. It wouldn't be such a big deal, but like I said, this was my first date in about 9yrs. I was excited and a bit hopeful. He hasn't been up to the tattoo shop since he stood me up but I told everyone about it. We'll see what they have to say to him the next time he comes up there.
#25 Sep 18 2011 at 7:22 PM Rating: Good
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idiggory, King of Bards wrote:
Timelordwho wrote:
idiggory, King of Bards wrote:
Delva wrote:
We were texting earlier that day. I'd say not more than maybe 4-5hrs before we were supposed to meet. I haven't talked to him at all today and I have made up my mind, I'm not going to. His loss, not mine.

Tyrrant: It's funny you say that. I saw a bumper sticker today that said, "I am one more bad relationship away from having 30 cats." I got a kick out of it.



It's ultimately your choice, but I really think the healthy choice here is to talk to him. Not only because there's still that small chance it was actually a mistake, but also because it's always better to confront someone when they hurt you.


Or just get over it? If it was plaguing her terribly and she was spending undue effort thinking about it, or if it was haunting her every waking moment or something, sure, but I don't think that's the case. It's a case of "Man, that sucks". (Or, coincidentally, Man that sucks)

If you stopped and tracked down people every time they were inconsiderate you wouldn't get much done.

Edited, Sep 18th 2011 6:06am by Timelordwho


I think the fact that this was her first date in years changes things--it's easy to just move on when you didn't need to psych yourself up for the date in the first place.


If it was an error or circumstance on his part, then he can reach out to her himself. It won't do her or her confidence any good to go searching after people who likely aren't worth the effort.

I say move on. If he has a good reason, then good, and he can come tell it. If not, there are better things out there, for certain. No reason to be desperate.

Edited, Sep 18th 2011 9:23pm by Eske
#26 Sep 18 2011 at 7:34 PM Rating: Decent
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You can always just embrace the solitude.

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