Hey AriFollow

I'm terribly sorry to hear that Ari. Living with any chronic, severely debilitating disease such as this is never easy, and is only made worse when those around and close to you do not understand the disorder. If there is some way you can get them to help you more, or at least be more understanding, that will likely make things easier for you. The best way would be to have a doctor try to explain things to them, since they don't seem to be responding to you telling them about it for whatever reason. Major Depression is incredibly common for people in your situation, but you should tell your doctor about it so he might be able to prescribe something for that. Antidepressants could make a world of difference in helping your outlook on the situation, and depression has the bad habit of feeding on itself and making everything worse. My best advice for you is to do those things, and try to find whatever joy and entertainment you can. If you ever have any questions on the medical side of things, ask away. I wish there were another way I could help you, as it breaks my heart that you have to suffer so much. Just keep hanging on, and hopefully it will get better someday.

I got teary-eyed reading about your dreams and aspirations, Ari.

It's not much, but have my 15k ding.

While Bijou's ding was excellent, this probably wins (for me at least) as the best one of the year. Much respect.

Wow, thanks for the Roger Dean link, Aeth. Great food for thought. The psychology behind the child's bedroom is amazing and spot on as to my fears as a child.

I wonder if the village project Willowater in England is going ahead?

Oh, and thank god you didn't call my mother. I've just discovered she's got a second level melanoma and has to have major surgery as soon as possible. =/

I'm worried but had my worry fest on my littlest sister's shoulder. Mum needs to keep as calm and stress free as possible.

Ari, I know you don't keep up with facebook as much as the rest of the world, but my life seems to be inversely awesome in comparison to yours. Not to be a braggart, but I'm sure you'd appreciate an update, and you would probably understand that I do deserve this upswing in my life, it's been a long time coming. I thought about you the other day while doing theoretical budgeting, more on that in a bit.

I'm in the midst of pledging for what is basically a fraternity for gay perverts. The Atons of Minneapolis. One of the nations oldest gay leather social clubs. My social circle has expanded exponentially because of it, and it's full of men that want to do unspeakable things to me in a completely consensual environment. They throw parties, sexual and non, and they gather monthly for a dinner at some preplanned restaurant in town. The full voting members (which I am pledging to be) number nine so far, with one new pledge going up for a vote next month (he's a shoe in.) The number of associate members, the ones that pay dues and participate in the planned events, and sometimes help out with the bigger events, number somewhere around 60-70. The Atons have a large history in the Minnesota gay community and I'm proud to be considered for membership. I'll probably still be in my pledge through Gay Pride this year, which means I'll have a lot of duties, and probably have the most fun I'll ever have at Pride.

I just finished my third week of my new job. I work in an honest to god factory now. I'm blue collar! There is a lot of rough trade eye candy, and a large number of burly men with tattoos to undress with my eyes. I seem to be in the facially pierced minority though, but it has already prompted a few conversations in the ilk of "Didn't that hurt?" Which is still strange when it comes from guys with full sleeve tattoos.

FedEx was crushing my soul. I'd been there for 7 years, and was a damn good and qualified employee, but I learned that they wanted me to step into the shoes of someone that had been there for 2 years, and was one step above me on the corporate ladder. The kicker? they refused to pay me even equal to what he was making. I'd spent the last four or so months hating life every day, having to go to a job that I knew didn't respect me. The new job at ****-Olson, working a press, is undeniably better than where I was. The noise of the factory is a little much, but earplugs quell it, and once I'm out of training, I won't really have to pay attention to people, so I can drift off into my head. Plus, once training is over, and they switch me to third shift, I'll be making nearly a third more per hour than I was at FedEx. This is the first time in my entire adult life that I haven't felt poor.

That brings me to when I thought about you. I was doing some speculation on my budget, and thinking about what to do with my new found wealth. I know now, I want to take a vacation, I've never taken one on my own. I thought it would be a gas to visit you, regardless of your condition, you're one of those strange internet friends that I would really love to meet one day, just because we've been such opposite personalities up till my current upswing. Me, the pessimistic boy who doesn't understand just how lucky he really is, and you, the optimistic girl in the face of all adversity. So, how bout it? Once I get my finances in order, how about I come taste Australia? It wouldn't be for some time down the road, but I bet it would be a blast. You know you want to shake hands with a gay American Ex-meth *****, everyone does.

I'm the new American dream.

I've also thought about couch surfing Europe. I bet with the people I know, I could visit a good deal of Europe and pay very little in lodging.

We should organize a ZAM couch-surfing project for whenever anyone feels like taking a vacation.

I always think of Ari when I drive down a road lined with dogwood trees or redbuds in bloom in the spring. I know you have flowering trees Down Under, but I also know that A. it's fall there when it's spring here and B. she'd probably appreciate how beautiful the sh*tty ol' Midwest can be when it's not covered in corn and busted pickup trucks. They probably don't even have dogwoods and redbuds there in Australia, anyway.

Edited, Apr 8th 2011 7:11pm by AshOnMyTomatoes

Po-tay-to, po-tah-to. All I know is I'm getting laid with even greater frequency.

Ari that sounds terrible i hope things get better i will WILL you to get better sadly this is all i can do.
P.S. Nixnot keep gaying it up and i'm happy that you've found a bit of joy =).