Cop comebacks to speedersFollow

These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?" (MY FAVORITE)

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey ****."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." (National Crime Information Center)

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.... Sign here."

I liked 11.

I'm leaving in just a minute to go contest a $30 fine for parking facing the wrong direction in front of my own goddamn house. Seriously, who gives a flying f*ck how I park in front of my house?

Ugly has a very good point.

.

Valid points (well, I don't know about the first one, I don't think anyone would mistake it as coming toward them), but it's a residential street, so there are no lanes and I'd be going "the wrong way" for all of about 2 seconds to pull to the curb. The judge dismissed the charge, but suggested I don't park the wrong way anymore, which is reasonable (and yes, I'm going to start parking the correct direction more often). I just thought the cop was bored or in a bad mood to give me a ticket for that in the first place. They've never had an issue with it before.

This. It's actually kinda surprising how many cops don't actually know the vehicle codes for non-divided residential streets. There is no "wrong way" on a street that does not have a dividing line. There are no lanes, thus as long as there is no traffic coming in the opposite direction, you can legally drive anywhere (it's considered one lane). There may or may not be laws applicable to parking (how close to the curb, whether you can park nose in to the curb in a cul-de-sac, etc), but you can't park "backwards". There's no innate assumption of directionality on a road like that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ws-mn3M23dc

Maybe its just New York, but its a $50~$70 fine for parking opposite the flow of traffic.

That is the way I've always understood the law to be.