This story requires a bit of back story. My parents are addicted to methamphetamines. They have done it all my life and still do, to this day. I moved out when I was 16 and haven't been home since. I do not do anything but smoke cigarettes and drink occasionally. I do not associate myself with people that do drugs, other than pot. I have a couple of friends that smoke pot, but that doesn't bother me all that much. I abhor drug use. People that inject themselves with said substances especially. It makes me disgusted and angry. I hate it with a passion.
My friend called me the other night and said she was in a bad way and needed help. I am in Wichita Falls, Texas, she was calling from Oklahoma City, Ok. She wanted me to drive to Oklahoma City, pick her up, and bring her back to Wichita. She wouldn't specify what trouble she was in, she just said she needed me and needed to come home. She hasn't been doing too good and I knew that. She hasn't been able to find a job and had to stay at the Faith Mission a couple of times because she doesn't really have any friends or family in Oklahoma. She is dating someone that lived there and she did have a job, but she got fired. Now, I got the money together for gas and went and got her. I knew something was wrong when I picked her up. She was painfully skinny, almost emaciated, and so was her girlfriend. We got a flat tire right outside Lawton and while my husband was changing the tire, she started rummaging through the trunk for something. She pulled 2 syringes out of her backpack. Her and her girlfriend sat in the back seat of the car and shot themselves up with speed. I confronted her about it when I got back in the car and saw what she was doing. I was violently angry because she knows how I feel about that **** and she knows all the horror stories of my childhood. She said that was the last of whatever she had and she wanted to get rid of it. She told me she had to come home to get clean and she needed to know that I still loved her and supported her.
Here is the dilemma. Do I support her in her effort to get clean or do I wash my hands of her? I want to help her out and I know how hard it is to get clean. I am afraid though. I am afraid that she won't get clean and she will drag me down with her. I will have to relive all those horror stories of my past and I will turn into the scared, lost, broken little girl I once was.
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Not worth it.
You've dealt with meth enough in your life. You've done enough for your fiend already, just by removing her from Oklahoma. Don't put yourself through this. Cut ties.
Especially if she fires the stuff and has the gall to do it right in front of you. She's nowhere near kicking it, and won't be for God knows how long. In my experience, people who bang meth pretty much don't quit, anyway.
You've dealt with meth enough in your life. You've done enough for your fiend already, just by removing her from Oklahoma. Don't put yourself through this. Cut ties.
Especially if she fires the stuff and has the gall to do it right in front of you. She's nowhere near kicking it, and won't be for God knows how long. In my experience, people who bang meth pretty much don't quit, anyway.
Barkingturtle wrote:
Not worth it.
You've dealt with meth enough in your life. You've done enough for your fiend already, just by removing her from Oklahoma. Don't put yourself through this. Cut ties.
Especially if she fires the stuff and has the gall to do it right in front of you. She's nowhere near kicking it, and won't be for God knows how long. In my experience, people who bang meth pretty much don't quit, anyway.
You've dealt with meth enough in your life. You've done enough for your fiend already, just by removing her from Oklahoma. Don't put yourself through this. Cut ties.
Especially if she fires the stuff and has the gall to do it right in front of you. She's nowhere near kicking it, and won't be for God knows how long. In my experience, people who bang meth pretty much don't quit, anyway.
I must be dreaming. An insightful and helpful reply from BT. Thank you for the input. I don't want to go through this again, but I know a good support system can go a long way.
Delva wrote:
Barkingturtle wrote:
Not worth it.
You've dealt with meth enough in your life. You've done enough for your fiend already, just by removing her from Oklahoma. Don't put yourself through this. Cut ties.
Especially if she fires the stuff and has the gall to do it right in front of you. She's nowhere near kicking it, and won't be for God knows how long. In my experience, people who bang meth pretty much don't quit, anyway.
You've dealt with meth enough in your life. You've done enough for your fiend already, just by removing her from Oklahoma. Don't put yourself through this. Cut ties.
Especially if she fires the stuff and has the gall to do it right in front of you. She's nowhere near kicking it, and won't be for God knows how long. In my experience, people who bang meth pretty much don't quit, anyway.
I must be dreaming. An insightful and helpful reply from BT. Thank you for the input. I don't want to go through this again, but I know a good support system can go a long way.
Yeah, I guess it really boils down to how close you are with this person, but man, meth is ugly. Personally, there is no one other than my wife whom I wouldn't cut out off my life if they were hooked on meth. Whatever you end up doing, be careful and good luck.
Barkingturtle wrote:
Delva wrote:
Barkingturtle wrote:
Not worth it.
You've dealt with meth enough in your life. You've done enough for your fiend already, just by removing her from Oklahoma. Don't put yourself through this. Cut ties.
Especially if she fires the stuff and has the gall to do it right in front of you. She's nowhere near kicking it, and won't be for God knows how long. In my experience, people who bang meth pretty much don't quit, anyway.
You've dealt with meth enough in your life. You've done enough for your fiend already, just by removing her from Oklahoma. Don't put yourself through this. Cut ties.
Especially if she fires the stuff and has the gall to do it right in front of you. She's nowhere near kicking it, and won't be for God knows how long. In my experience, people who bang meth pretty much don't quit, anyway.
I must be dreaming. An insightful and helpful reply from BT. Thank you for the input. I don't want to go through this again, but I know a good support system can go a long way.
Yeah, I guess it really boils down to how close you are with this person, but man, meth is ugly. Personally, there is no one other than my wife whom I wouldn't cut out off my life if they were hooked on meth. Whatever you end up doing, be careful and good luck.
We have been very close for about 4yrs now. She started out as a friend of my sisters and we started hanging out while my sister was at work. We got along real well and started becoming friends. I have had friends that have started doing meth and dropped ties without a second glance, but she wants help. She knows she needs to get clean and I think she really does want to. Trust me, I know meth is ugly. It makes you an ugly person. My mother is 49yrs old, she has 3 teeth left, and looks worse than my grandparents do. I will be careful and i'll need all the luck I can get, whatever I end up doing!
I'm with BT on this one. Unless you're extremely close to this friend, and by close, i mean consider her a sister 100%, then cut her free.
Donate. One day it could be your family.
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
See, I understand wanting to help her. Especially as the child of addicts, it makes one feel a need to fix other broken people. Hell, that pretty much explains every friend I ever had in high school. But these days, as an adult, she would have lost me as soon as I saw her shoot up, and then excuse it by saying "it was the last I had and I needed to get rid of it."
Throw it in a trashcan, then. Flush it down a toilet or hell, just drop it in some water. But nowhere in the Meth Disposal Handbook does it direct one to rid themselves of meth by injecting it into their veins. Sorry Delva, but I think she might have a long, long way to go.
Also, this thread kind of makes me want to smoke some meth.
Throw it in a trashcan, then. Flush it down a toilet or hell, just drop it in some water. But nowhere in the Meth Disposal Handbook does it direct one to rid themselves of meth by injecting it into their veins. Sorry Delva, but I think she might have a long, long way to go.
Also, this thread kind of makes me want to smoke some meth.
Barkingturtle wrote:
See, I understand wanting to help her. Especially as the child of addicts, it makes one feel a need to fix other broken people. Hell, that pretty much explains every friend I ever had in high school. But these days, as an adult, she would have lost me as soon as I saw her shoot up, and then excuse it by saying "it was the last I had and I needed to get rid of it."
Throw it in a trashcan, then. Flush it down a toilet or hell, just drop it in some water. But nowhere in the Meth Disposal Handbook does it direct one to rid themselves of meth by injecting it into their veins. Sorry Delva, but I think she might have a long, long way to go.
Also, this thread kind of makes me want to smoke some meth.
Throw it in a trashcan, then. Flush it down a toilet or hell, just drop it in some water. But nowhere in the Meth Disposal Handbook does it direct one to rid themselves of meth by injecting it into their veins. Sorry Delva, but I think she might have a long, long way to go.
Also, this thread kind of makes me want to smoke some meth.
Exactly. I am stupid for thinking I can help and I can fix her. I have had a lot of broken friends myself. We were on the side of the road and weren't near any sort of water, but I get what you are saying. If you are trying to get clean and wanting to get rid of the last of your stash, injecting it really isn't the way to go. I don't consider her my sister because she is not family, but she is very close to me.
Edit: I didn't mean to sound redundant in stating she is not family. My sister, brother, and I are more battle buddies. Prisoners of the same war. We are closer and have more of a relationship than normal brothers and sisters because of the things we have been through together.
Edited, Sep 5th 2010 8:13am by Delva
Delva wrote:
Exactly. I am stupid for thinking I can help and I can fix her.
I wouldn't say you're stupid for it, just a product of your upbringing.
There are guys I knew from school, and every now and then I see a picture of them and I want to cry. I know these guys are total degenerates; thieves, rapists, criminals, but I don't care. There is and always was a part of me that feels like I should help them. Hell, there's a part of me that feels responsible for every broken thing I come across. That's my parents' fault for making me feel like I had to hold it all together as a child. It my dad's fault for making every addict I meet remind me of him.
It ain't my fault, though, and it ain't yours, either.
Man, I need to make a **** joke or something. I'm going soft.
Edited, Sep 5th 2010 6:54am by Barkingturtle
Quote:
Man, I need to make a **** joke or something. I'm going soft.
And there it is.
For real, though, listen to BT. Meth is a scourge.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
So **** makes BT hard.
Donate. One day it could be your family.
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
So **** makes BT hard.
In Soviet Russia.
Wait, what?
Drop them off at rehab, then change your phone number.
Just as Planned.
Barkingturtle wrote:
See, I understand wanting to help her. Especially as the child of addicts, it makes one feel a need to fix other broken people. Hell, that pretty much explains every friend I ever had in high school.
Hell, it explains every relationship I've had and the way I feel about everyone I know today.
I had to watch my mother hit rock ******* bottom before she quit. I have no idea how many years of her life were consumed by it but I know she's been clean for 7 years now. She raised two and a half children tweaked, and when her third was finally almost taken away and she was threatened with prison time (she did more than just use), she finally quit. Everyone she's ever known has been on the drug, or on and off the drug, and it's a sick and sad cycle to watch and I'd wash my hands of her. If she's using in the backseat of your car when she knows your history, the only "support system" that you're gonna be is a sucker who gets used. Run away. Meth is ******* gross.
My loving husband also wrote:
Also, this thread kind of makes me want to smoke some meth.
You know you get kicked in the nuts when you say it out loud, don't think that posting it gets you out of an *** whooping. You know that's not a funny joke.
VERY Good luck Delva.
I just can't think of any right answer for this one, because it's possible she IS right on the tipping point of seriously going after the skills to kick it. But if she isn't, then a friendship with her would be toxic and best to cut to save yourself. Even if she IS kicking it, successfully, it might still be a toxic situation for you, just because the issue is a trigger for bringing up your past traumas.
The one thing I know to be true and right, down to the depths of my soul, is that you have to look after your own self health FIRST. If you are unwell yourself, then you can't even perceive other people and reality properly, let alone have the strength to be there for other people.
Look inside yourself and ask yourself if you are feeling calm and confident when you think about her, or when you talk to her. And if you feel pain and sadness, is it a cleansing, freeing, lightening pain and sadness for you in the end? And if you feel anger, is it an invigorating, motivating anger?
Or does thinking or interacting with her debilitate you, leave you tense and drained?
PS, I used to be a universal fixer too, but I learned to catch myself at the automatic response, and be more logical about when and where and what I tried to help with. IE, I dropped 95% of it. In my case, not drugged-up parents after I was 3, but genetically ********* and family cycle-of-violence problem parents.
Edited, Sep 5th 2010 12:05pm by Aripyanfar
I just can't think of any right answer for this one, because it's possible she IS right on the tipping point of seriously going after the skills to kick it. But if she isn't, then a friendship with her would be toxic and best to cut to save yourself. Even if she IS kicking it, successfully, it might still be a toxic situation for you, just because the issue is a trigger for bringing up your past traumas.
The one thing I know to be true and right, down to the depths of my soul, is that you have to look after your own self health FIRST. If you are unwell yourself, then you can't even perceive other people and reality properly, let alone have the strength to be there for other people.
Look inside yourself and ask yourself if you are feeling calm and confident when you think about her, or when you talk to her. And if you feel pain and sadness, is it a cleansing, freeing, lightening pain and sadness for you in the end? And if you feel anger, is it an invigorating, motivating anger?
Or does thinking or interacting with her debilitate you, leave you tense and drained?
PS, I used to be a universal fixer too, but I learned to catch myself at the automatic response, and be more logical about when and where and what I tried to help with. IE, I dropped 95% of it. In my case, not drugged-up parents after I was 3, but genetically ********* and family cycle-of-violence problem parents.
Edited, Sep 5th 2010 12:05pm by Aripyanfar
Guenny wrote:
My loving husband also wrote:
Also, this thread kind of makes me want to smoke some meth.
You know you get kicked in the nuts when you say it out loud, don't think that posting it gets you out of an *** whooping. You know that's not a funny joke.
Speak for yourself, it had me in stitches.
Heh, "smoke some meth". It's the way he tells 'em.
ITT: Confirmation that Guenny always had BT about the balls. <3
Timelordwho wrote:
Drop them off at rehab, then change your phone number.
Aripyanfar wrote:
The one thing I know to be true and right, down to the depths of my soul, is that you have to look after your own self health FIRST. If you are unwell yourself, then you can't even perceive other people and reality properly, let alone have the strength to be there for other people.
Even though it might seem like a **** move sometimes you always need to take care of yourself first and put yourself in the first place before you can help others.
Guenny wrote:
My loving husband also wrote:
Also, this thread kind of makes me want to smoke some meth.
You know you get kicked in the nuts when you say it out loud, don't think that posting it gets you out of an *** whooping. You know that's not a funny joke.
Please record this. We haven't had any real lulz around here in a while.
Also, Chrome spell checker should get with the program and know that "lulz" is an actual word now.
Duh.
Nadenu wrote:
Also, Chrome spell checker should get with the program and know that "lulz" is an actual word now.
Duh.
Duh.
Edited, Sep 5th 2010 4:12pm by ThePsychoticOne
Nadenu wrote:
Also, Chrome spell checker should get with the program and know that "lulz" is an actual word now.
Duh.
Duh.
You can't enter it into their dictionary at the time of use?
You people are no fun.
LET ME COMPLAIN.
LET ME COMPLAIN.
Nadenu wrote:
You people are no fun.
LET ME COMPLAIN.
LET ME COMPLAIN.
I am loads of fun. Just no one knows it and it would be hard to tell from my posts here.
Nadenu wrote:
You people are no fun.
LET ME COMPLAIN.
LET ME COMPLAIN.
Noob.
See, that's not in my dictionary either.
Let her go. I posted pictures of me when I was on drugs a while back on these forums. I can tell you if I was in her position and shooting up in the backseat I wasn't ready for help.
Anyone seeking help is going to stumble, whether you help them up or not is your choice. But those that continuously stumble without any episode of picking themselves up is going to drag you down.
I'm assuming that you've alredy made it clear to your friend that her backseat fix was the last time. I was there with a friend through his coke problem and I ended up getting on the receiving end of some violence because I wouldn't help him get his last fix. We didn't talk for a few years and when he tracked me down after he cleaned up, he effusively apologized for what happened. But our friendship was so damaged that there was no healing after that. Which is something that I completely regret. But I don't regret drawing the line.
I'm assuming that you've alredy made it clear to your friend that her backseat fix was the last time. I was there with a friend through his coke problem and I ended up getting on the receiving end of some violence because I wouldn't help him get his last fix. We didn't talk for a few years and when he tracked me down after he cleaned up, he effusively apologized for what happened. But our friendship was so damaged that there was no healing after that. Which is something that I completely regret. But I don't regret drawing the line.
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