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What would you do if you found yourself falling in deep like with someone, but you are happily married?
Never admit it to the other person and cut off contact.
That depends on what you want.
Move to Canada.
"I have lost my way
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement"
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement"
Dammit, give some details. You can't ask a question like this and then go silent.
Iamadam the Prohpet wrote:
Move to Canada.
Belkira the Tulip wrote:
What would you do if you found yourself falling in deep like with someone, but you are happily married?
Be a grownup about it. Let yourself enjoy liking him/her and realize it means nothing.
It's either an infatuation, which will pass in time, or it's respect and/or admiration, which requires no action.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
I've been on the other end of that situation before. For some reason married women really like young single guys.
Galkaman wrote:
Kuwoobie will die crushed under the burden of his mediocrity.
Hopefully Mr. Bel doesn't peruse Allakhazoo.
Samira wrote:
Belkira the Tulip wrote:
What would you do if you found yourself falling in deep like with someone, but you are happily married?
Be a grownup about it. Let yourself enjoy liking him/her and realize it means nothing.
It's either an infatuation, which will pass in time, or it's respect and/or admiration, which requires no action.
Edited, Aug 6th 2010 11:52am by Sweetums
Thumbelyna Quick Hands wrote:
Dammit, give some details. You can't ask a question like this and then go silent.
I know a guy who is happily married, and thinks that there would be nothing wrong with falling in love with another person while he's married. When asked, "would you leave your wife?" his response is, "No, I love her."
It's just not something I can understand. Personally, if I had a crush on a guy, I would start to distance myself and not encourage those feelings. He said he would not "repress" any of his feelings because he didn't think that was healthy, and he would not micro-manage his feelings in such a way. He would never get physical with the other person in any way, and he would never talk about it with them, but he won't take any steps to keep it from happening, either.
It's just so different, I wondered if there were a lot of people who felt the same way.
That's an interesting perspective. Seems risky to me, but maybe he has an iron will.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Stupid Belkira and her hypotheticals. 
ETA: ******* tease.
Edited, Aug 6th 2010 10:54am by Iamadam
ETA: ******* tease.
Edited, Aug 6th 2010 10:54am by Iamadam
"I have lost my way
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement"
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement"
Samira wrote:
That's an interesting perspective. Seems risky to me, but maybe he has an iron will.
From what I know of him? No.
Well, then. I'm guessing this is just a hedonistic kinda guy who enjoys playing with fire.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
I'd try very hard to frame the relationship as a sibling one. If that wasn't working, I'd probably try to avoid ever spending any time alone with that person. It can make it better or worse if the person becomes a close friend of both husband and wife depending on the situation.
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You'll always be stupid, you'll just be stupid with more information in your brain
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Sir Xsarus wrote:
I'd try very hard to frame the relationship as a sibling one. If that wasn't working, I'd probably try to avoid ever spending any time alone with that person. It can make it better or worse if the person becomes a close friend of both husband and wife depending on the situation.
I think mostly the examples given were of a "if you worked with someone and..." type thing. Seeing as how you spend more time at work than at home with a spouse nowadays, that could make it even trickier, in my opinion.
ETA: Oh, and the funny thing is, when asked how he would feel if his wife fell in love with another man, he said he'd hate it, and it would probably hurt, and he wasn't sure he would stay in the marriage.
We all had a sort of
moment at that. Edited, Aug 6th 2010 12:16pm by Belkira
Meh, so he found a connection with someone else. It happens. Whether he acts on it or not is an entirely different matter. If he does, let us know because that would be fun to 
and watch.
and watch. Fulfilled as I am by my wife, your scenario is unimaginable to me, but I can tell you that most folks in your hypothetical send a PM to an admin and ask to be banned.
Thumbelyna Quick Hands wrote:
Meh, so he found a connection with someone else. It happens. Whether he acts on it or not is an entirely different matter.
See, to me (and the other people in the conversation, for the most part) being with someone who is in love with someone else would be hurtful and not a situation I would care to be in. For me to be in a marriage with someone, I think it's unfair to focus those feelings and attentions on someone else.
Polygamy jokes aside... He's not keeping his 'like' of this person a secret, so that's a good start. He's obviously worried enough about his attraction to ask others for advice, so he's probably smart enough not to do anything.
Perhaps his infatuation with this person is based on something else, and he has no other way of labeling it.
Perhaps his infatuation with this person is based on something else, and he has no other way of labeling it.
Things I sometimes play...
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"I want to be a unicorn!"
"Awww, why's that?"........
"So I can stab people with my face."
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"I want to be a unicorn!"
"Awww, why's that?"........
"So I can stab people with my face."
See, but he said he's deeply in "like" with someone else.
Not defending the guy, just playing devil's advocate here.
Seems like in his mind, he's differentiating between everything on what he has with his wife and this connection that he's built with this other person. He sees a difference hence, he's able to explore this.
Sounds like infatuation. It'll pass and he'll move on to something else that catches his fancy.
Not defending the guy, just playing devil's advocate here.
Seems like in his mind, he's differentiating between everything on what he has with his wife and this connection that he's built with this other person. He sees a difference hence, he's able to explore this.
Sounds like infatuation. It'll pass and he'll move on to something else that catches his fancy.
For the record, there's not someone that he's infatuated or otherwise with. He was saying that if he met someone and had an attraction or "crush" on them, he wouldn't keep his feelings in check. He would be friends and get to know the other person better. If that led to him falling in love, so be it. He sees no reason why he can't be in love with someone outside of his marriage.
My question in the OP was mostly to see how others would respond if they were talking with someone and realizing that their feelings were getting pretty strong. My theory is that most married people (who were happy in their marriage and weren't looking to cheat) would put a stop to their feelings growing in some way, either by some distance or not being quite so friendly with the other person. This guy pretty much said he would "see where it goes." If he falls in love, great. He sees nothing wrong with that.
The "deeply in 'like'" with phrase was my own to see how people would respond. Sorry if that was confusing. This is part of the reason I didn't go into specifics in the OP.
Edited, Aug 6th 2010 12:53pm by Belkira
My question in the OP was mostly to see how others would respond if they were talking with someone and realizing that their feelings were getting pretty strong. My theory is that most married people (who were happy in their marriage and weren't looking to cheat) would put a stop to their feelings growing in some way, either by some distance or not being quite so friendly with the other person. This guy pretty much said he would "see where it goes." If he falls in love, great. He sees nothing wrong with that.
The "deeply in 'like'" with phrase was my own to see how people would respond. Sorry if that was confusing. This is part of the reason I didn't go into specifics in the OP.
Edited, Aug 6th 2010 12:53pm by Belkira
Sounds like he was hitting on you. Was his ***** exposed?
Barkingturtle wrote:
Sounds like he was hitting on you. Was his ***** exposed?
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