If I were you, Sora, I'd do everything in my power to get things back on track. If she's given up then it's up to you to pick up the slack in the meantime. You're an ex-guido with a smokin' wife, you've already gotten lucky once. Try it again with kid baggage and you'll quickly learn that it's not as easy as it used to be.
Every rational female I know (read: mythical creatures) won't give a guy with a kid the time of day.
It's hard living with someone that's clinically depressed, but it's of the utmost importance to remember that it is curable and she is having a harder time than you are. If your family means as much to you as I think it does you'd never forgive yourself for giving up on her. In sickness and in health and all that.
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Holy ****. The voice of reason from Kaain?
They grow up so fast.
They grow up so fast.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
I miss the old Kaain and his zany adventures.
Samira wrote:
Holy sh*t. The voice of reason from Kaain?
They grow up so fast.
They grow up so fast.
Tits, etc.
Kavekk the Ludicrous wrote:
I miss the old Kaain and his zany adventures.
He is merely hibernating out of necessity for now.
Kavekk the Ludicrous wrote:
There's nothing wrong with the missionary position.
this.
Counselor, go, now.
Just talking about it with your wife doesn't change anything so go make an appointment with a counselor, talk to him/her about the situation and explain what is going on so you can make an appointment for her.
She needs to be pushed a little because even if she recognizes that she is depressed it's damn hard for her to do something about it because of the depression.
And talking to a counselor/psychologist is a much better option than letting your marriage rot away. Get over that first bit of shame or anxiety or whatever it is that is holding you back from making an appointment.
Just talking about it with your wife doesn't change anything so go make an appointment with a counselor, talk to him/her about the situation and explain what is going on so you can make an appointment for her.
She needs to be pushed a little because even if she recognizes that she is depressed it's damn hard for her to do something about it because of the depression.
And talking to a counselor/psychologist is a much better option than letting your marriage rot away. Get over that first bit of shame or anxiety or whatever it is that is holding you back from making an appointment.
Kaain wrote:
Every rational female I know (read: mythical creatures) won't give a guy with a kid the time of day.
I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree with this particular nugget, or at least suggest you limit the scope of the statement to a particular age bracket.
Iron Chef Hallertau wrote:
eiran wrote:
Iron Chef Hallertau wrote:
eiran wrote:
Does she think she is depressed Sora?
Yep
and a 3 some is out of the question, that would involve non missionary sex that lasts longer then 15 minutes. Seriously, shes like a guy.
So she thinks she is depressed. Has she seen her primary care physician to see if antidepressants can help? Appeal to her being a "happier mommy" if necessary.
Not sure if she is looking to take pills.
It's not taking pills. It's medication to help a clinical condition. If she had strep throat would she object to taking an antibiotic? Maybe reframing it will help, coupled with the appealing to her being a happier mommy, wife, self...
BrownDuck wrote:
Kaain wrote:
Every rational female I know (read: mythical creatures) won't give a guy with a kid the time of day.
I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree with this particular nugget, or at least suggest you limit the scope of the statement to a particular age bracket.
When the hubby is out with the kids, women are drawn to the kids like magnets (especially the platinum haired Diva). Well, women who like/want to have kids. Not all women.
*edited to clarify
Edited, May 27th 2010 5:17pm by eiran
BrownDuck wrote:
Kaain wrote:
Every rational female I know (read: mythical creatures) won't give a guy with a kid the time of day.
I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree with this particular nugget, or at least suggest you limit the scope of the statement to a particular age bracket.
I guess that's true. I was speaking from my own preferences as that's my thing.
Ladies in my age bracket are still in their oyster world phase and I like the more ambitious ones.
Kaain wrote:
BrownDuck wrote:
Kaain wrote:
Every rational female I know (read: mythical creatures) won't give a guy with a kid the time of day.
I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree with this particular nugget, or at least suggest you limit the scope of the statement to a particular age bracket.
I guess that's true. I was speaking from my own preferences as that's my thing.
Ladies in my age bracket are still in their oyster world phase and I like the more ambitious ones.
I was ambitious. Now I am the oldest mommy in school who has to juggle career and kids. Kids always win. Lots of juggling. I blame men... Well mainly my hubby for marrying me. Damn him.
BrownDuck wrote:
Kaain wrote:
Every rational female I know (read: mythical creatures) won't give a guy with a kid the time of day.
I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree with this particular nugget, or at least suggest you limit the scope of the statement to a particular age bracket.
I always figured the single Dad angle was an invite for girls to get all gushy and want to sit on your face? Like bringing a puppy at the beach....
BrownDuck wrote:
Kaain wrote:
Every rational female I know (read: mythical creatures) won't give a guy with a kid the time of day.
I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree with this particular nugget, or at least suggest you limit the scope of the statement to a particular age bracket.
This is so untrue! Both my kids' dads got mega GF's because of being a single dad out with the kid for a day or whatever. Me, on the other hand, I was not interested in dating men with children, and look now, I have three step kids! ROFL
Have you tried raping her? It sounds like that's mostly what you're interested in anyway, right?
It feels like Sora's really trolling, but since he tugs at my heartstrings I'll bite.
Sora, I understand your frustrated with the situation you are in, and if you aren't overdramatizing and exaggerating the extent of the issues you are having, you need to see some help. It sounds like you both adjusted to having a child in a completely different way, and are having trouble finding the middle ground on your own without getting resentful and passive-aggressive.
Also, Sora, again, I hope you're trolling but if you're not, telling your wife she needs to spend more time "out" getting dolled up for you ("pedis, manis, new clothes, nights out with the girls so you have a night at home") is a pretty chauvinistic way to go about getting what you want. You're married. You have a toddler. Your wife isn't going to have the feet of all the women at worshipmyfeetwithyourdick.com. She isn't going to feel like going out and hanging out with her friends. If they're single, she won't have near as much in common and feel uncomfortable. If they are also married with kids, I'm sure they have just as much trouble getting away as she does.
Stop being such a ****. You have a family. You go out of your way and do what you can. When you wake up in the morning, you have to think to yourself, "What can I do to make this situation better for everyone in my family?"
Or, just divorce her. Your precious, perfect, innocent little daughter will be the spared one, I'm sure. Especially when she grows up and reads daddy's diary that he's frustrated that mommy's feet aren't pretty and that she doesn't **** him more than once a week. I can just picture the wonderful relationship she will have with men for the rest of her life.
Sora, I understand your frustrated with the situation you are in, and if you aren't overdramatizing and exaggerating the extent of the issues you are having, you need to see some help. It sounds like you both adjusted to having a child in a completely different way, and are having trouble finding the middle ground on your own without getting resentful and passive-aggressive.
Also, Sora, again, I hope you're trolling but if you're not, telling your wife she needs to spend more time "out" getting dolled up for you ("pedis, manis, new clothes, nights out with the girls so you have a night at home") is a pretty chauvinistic way to go about getting what you want. You're married. You have a toddler. Your wife isn't going to have the feet of all the women at worshipmyfeetwithyourdick.com. She isn't going to feel like going out and hanging out with her friends. If they're single, she won't have near as much in common and feel uncomfortable. If they are also married with kids, I'm sure they have just as much trouble getting away as she does.
Stop being such a ****. You have a family. You go out of your way and do what you can. When you wake up in the morning, you have to think to yourself, "What can I do to make this situation better for everyone in my family?"
Or, just divorce her. Your precious, perfect, innocent little daughter will be the spared one, I'm sure. Especially when she grows up and reads daddy's diary that he's frustrated that mommy's feet aren't pretty and that she doesn't **** him more than once a week. I can just picture the wonderful relationship she will have with men for the rest of her life.
Guenny wrote:
I can just picture the wonderful relationship she will have with men for the rest of her life.
Pregnant at fourteen.
By a black dude.
Barkingturtle wrote:
Guenny wrote:
I can just picture the wonderful relationship she will have with men for the rest of her life.
Pregnant at fourteen.
By a black dude.
But at least she'll have pretty feet and have sex with him ALL the time because that's what keeps a guy happy, right?!
Guenny wrote:
Barkingturtle wrote:
Guenny wrote:
I can just picture the wonderful relationship she will have with men for the rest of her life.
Pregnant at fourteen.
By a black dude.
But at least she'll have pretty feet and have sex with him ALL the time because that's what keeps a guy happy, right?!
Crackheads pretty much never have pretty feet. She'll get hit a lot though, so there's that!
Guenny wrote:
Stop being such a @#%^. You have a family. You go out of your way and do what you can. When you wake up in the morning, you have to think to yourself, "What can I do to make this situation better for everyone in my family?"
Or, just divorce her. Your precious, perfect, innocent little daughter will be the spared one, I'm sure. Especially when she grows up and reads daddy's diary that he's frustrated that mommy's feet aren't pretty and that she doesn't @#%^ him more than once a week. I can just picture the wonderful relationship she will have with men for the rest of her life.
Or, just divorce her. Your precious, perfect, innocent little daughter will be the spared one, I'm sure. Especially when she grows up and reads daddy's diary that he's frustrated that mommy's feet aren't pretty and that she doesn't @#%^ him more than once a week. I can just picture the wonderful relationship she will have with men for the rest of her life.
Don't be such a dirty cunt.
Guenny wrote:
Stuffz
I'll admit I was a bit harsh yesterday but she does still have a problem. She does nothing for herself and its something we have been discussing for almost a year now and she promises to make time for this and that but nothing ever comes of it. I do not see why you think I am a horrible person for wanting her to break away from the house and do something to make her feel good about herself once again, but whatever you are entitled to your opinion.
I also do not see the problem with me wanting to have a healthy sex life with my wife. I feel that sex brings people extremely close and when you stop so does that connection. I am not saying, lets lock the baby in her room and do it, or ignore her cries or whatever. I am looking at us getting hot and heavy on our time, cause yes being a parent you still get "our time" too many of those though she spends cleaning or worrying about XYZ. She has admitted on numerous occasions that she worries too much about things that she should not be worrying about, is the baby too warm, what will she have for dinner next week, did I pack her food right, will she take a long enough nap etc etc. I think its totally awesome that she is that responsible and thoughtful but I think she goes overboard.
Really? You're rationalizing yourself to Guenny? She married BT. Do you really think the wiring is working right in her head?
Donate. One day it could be your family.
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
Really? You're rationalizing yourself to Guenny? She married BT. Do you really think the wiring is working right in her head?
I know, I'm bad for biting but I couldn't help it.
Quote:
She has admitted on numerous occasions that she worries too much about things that she should not be worrying about,
Ruminating, it's called. It's a symptom.
Did her doctor not suggest that she see someone else when her hormone levels came back normal? S/he should have made that suggestion, that it's time to move on to the next logical step.
She needs help, and arguing with you isn't it. You're too close, and there's no way you can or should be objective.
Therapy doesn't have to be protracted, you know. Most times just a few sessions will help immensely, especially when the client is basically healthy and just dealing with situational stress that seems to have spiraled out of control. Like your wife is dealing with right now.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Seriously though, somebody should stop real quick and check if the baby is too warm.
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