I don't normally post private personal information too much in this forum but I took a big step yesterday in securing my happiness and decided to share. Besides this place has been dead boring lately so wtf.
Yesterday, after 11 years together, I informed my boyfriend (I know some of you thought I was married, Its just easier to say married after 11 years sorry for the misinformation) that It was over and I will be moving out at the end of May. I was going to wait until I had my apartment all set up and had the keys in my hand but it was eating me alive being sneaky like that.
We currently own a home together and will need to get that figured out. Sign bills over to his name and decided who gets what but I'm hoping we can do this in a friendly way without too much drama or stress, as this is already very stressful.
Living together for the next 6 weeks is going to be hard I think. After so long you get set into certain ways and its hard to get the space that is needed.
I'm oddly calm about this whole thing and I'm not sure if that is because this was a long time coming and I know this is the right thing or if the bottom is going to drop out at any minute and I'm going to be like "OMG WHAT DID I DO!"
I want to get married and have kids and he doesn't. I know that if I stay with him I will be giving up the chance for such things in my life and I know I want them. I had actually talked myself into thinking I didn't want children so it would be ok if we didn't get married and have any. I turned 29 this week and realize this isn't what I want. I don't want to be in the same place in my life 10 years from now when its almost too late (and would be too late for me personally) to have kids.
I know I'm doing the right thing. I think the reason I'm posting here is to find out if anyone has been in a similar situation as I am. Still living together for the next 6 weeks and trying to be nice about things.
I don't hate the guy. I think this might be easier if I did in a way. He is a great guy that just wants different things in his life. Nothing wrong with what he wants, its just not what I want so its time to move on while I still can.
Not sure what else to write here. Respond back in any way you see fit. "your mom", "Your face", "Your being a stupid ****", "etc..."
It honestly just feels good to get it off my chest.
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I took a big step yesterdayFollow
How bout "I know something else you can get off your chest"?
Seriously though, that's a big step and it sounds like you made the right decision. I hope the future goes as you want.
Seriously though, that's a big step and it sounds like you made the right decision. I hope the future goes as you want.
◕ ‿‿ ◕
Vataro wrote:
How bout "I know something else you can get off your chest"?
Nice.. Lol. Thanks.
Any time.
◕ ‿‿ ◕
Sounds like a long walk around Mt. Sinai to me. You know what you want, you go get it. Congratulations on becoming a big girl. My only question is why'd you let it take you 11 years to get off your *** and do something about it?
How's he taking it? That's going to be a big part of whether or not you two can get along in the current living arrangement over the next 6 weeks.
Would you reconsider if he came to you and told you he wanted to get married and have kids rather than lose you? I hope not,b ecause if that's the case, you probably should have confronted him with this reality of you leaving before actually doing it.
Other than that, good luck. Hope everythign works out for you.
Would you reconsider if he came to you and told you he wanted to get married and have kids rather than lose you? I hope not,b ecause if that's the case, you probably should have confronted him with this reality of you leaving before actually doing it.
Other than that, good luck. Hope everythign works out for you.
Donate. One day it could be your family.
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
I'm not sure how it works in your state, but do you have to worry about common-law marriage?
"I have lost my way
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement"
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement"
Are you in the market for a rebound?
Scholar
44 posts
I just wanted to say "good for you". One problem in most relationship is people DON'T know what they want. It stinks that it took 11 years but 29 is young. Actually, my co-worker just went through the same exact situation, except they were together for 2 years. Keep your head up, suck up the living arrangements for the next few weeks, move on with your life and go make some babies!!
Spoonless wrote:
Are you in the market for a rebound?
My Movember page
Solrain wrote:
WARs can use semi-colons however we want. I once killed a guy with a semi-colon.
LordFaramir wrote:
ODESNT MATTER CAUSE I HAVE ALCHOLOL IN MY VEINGS BETCH ;3
Nilatai the Intelligent wrote:
Spoonless wrote:
Are you in the market for a rebound?
I wouldn't mind taking Tofu's back seat, anyway.
Edited, Apr 16th 2010 11:01am by Spoonless
Your doing the right thing, and it's gonna take brass balls to do what your gonna do so take a deep breath know what your doing is correct.
spoonless wrote:
YOU CAN'T CALL SHOTGUN UNTIL YOU CAN SEE THE CAR!
If you know the name of the car you can call shotgun before actually seeing the car.
Edited, Apr 16th 2010 10:57am by Flixa
Flixa wrote:
spoonless wrote:
YOU CAN'T CALL SHOTGUN UNTIL YOU CAN SEE THE CAR!
If you know the name of the car you can call shotgun before actually seeing the car.
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
"I have lost my way
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement"
But I hear a tale
About a heaven in Alberta
Where they've got all hell for a basement"
Flixa wrote:
spoonless wrote:
YOU CAN'T CALL SHOTGUN UNTIL YOU CAN SEE THE CAR!
If you know the name of the car you can call shotgun before actually seeing the car.
Edited, Apr 16th 2010 10:57am by Flixa
Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
How's he taking it? That's going to be a big part of whether or not you two can get along in the current living arrangement over the next 6 weeks.
Would you reconsider if he came to you and told you he wanted to get married and have kids rather than lose you? I hope not,b ecause if that's the case, you probably should have confronted him with this reality of you leaving before actually doing it.
Other than that, good luck. Hope everythign works out for you.
Would you reconsider if he came to you and told you he wanted to get married and have kids rather than lose you? I hope not,b ecause if that's the case, you probably should have confronted him with this reality of you leaving before actually doing it.
Other than that, good luck. Hope everythign works out for you.
I hope not, because that would be a bad reason to bring kids into the world. Best case scenario would be ten more years culminating in resentment and a midlife crisis.
If you think you're doing the right thing, you're probably doing the right thing. If your goals are this different, then it's good that you came to the realization while you have time to rearrange your life the way you want it.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Spoonless wrote:
I wouldn't mind taking Tofu's back seat, anyway. 
Well the men don't know but the little girls understand.
dam wrote:
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Spoonless wrote:
Flixa wrote:
spoonless wrote:
YOU CAN'T CALL SHOTGUN UNTIL YOU CAN SEE THE CAR!
If you know the name of the car you can call shotgun before actually seeing the car.
Edited, Apr 16th 2010 10:57am by Flixa
My Movember page
Solrain wrote:
WARs can use semi-colons however we want. I once killed a guy with a semi-colon.
LordFaramir wrote:
ODESNT MATTER CAUSE I HAVE ALCHOLOL IN MY VEINGS BETCH ;3
Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
How's he taking it? That's going to be a big part of whether or not you two can get along in the current living arrangement over the next 6 weeks.
Would you reconsider if he came to you and told you he wanted to get married and have kids rather than lose you? I hope not,b ecause if that's the case, you probably should have confronted him with this reality of you leaving before actually doing it.
Other than that, good luck. Hope everythign works out for you.
Would you reconsider if he came to you and told you he wanted to get married and have kids rather than lose you? I hope not,b ecause if that's the case, you probably should have confronted him with this reality of you leaving before actually doing it.
Other than that, good luck. Hope everythign works out for you.
He took it better then I expected. I think he knew it was coming. We haven't spoke more then a few sentences to each other every day for months. As for your question of reconsidering, that was something I really thought on before I made the choice. The answer is, No. I'm not in love with him and a piece of paper or a baby wouldn't change the way we feel for each other and I'm just no longer in love with him. I was just super comfortable. Time to break out of my comfort zone and make some changes to make me happy.
Iamadam the Prohpet wrote:
I'm not sure how it works in your state, but do you have to worry about common-law marriage?
We have only been living together for about 4 years and we started living together after 2005 which is when PA stopped their common law marriage laws so that's not an issue.
Spoonless wrote:
Are you in the market for a rebound?
Not for a bit. (Nilatai called shotgun I heard it myself, If that don't work out Spoon your a close second) I think I need to be alone for a while and enjoy being single. I've been with him since I was 18 so I've never really experienced single life. I'm going to enjoy it for a bit.
Thank you everyone for the support and good wishes. This is going to be hard but for the first time in years I'm actually excited for the future. I know I'm doing the right thing and I'm going to come out of this stronger and more secure in myself then I was before. I'll keep you posted.
Spoonless wrote:
Flixa wrote:
[quote=spoonless]YOU CAN'T CALL SHOTGUN UNTIL YOU CAN SEE THE CAR!
If you know the name of the car you can call shotgun before actually seeing the car.
Edited, Apr 16th 2010 10:57am by Flixa
Donate. One day it could be your family.
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
Is it werid that i feel like i'm balancing two pieces of salary with peanutbutter in them in each of my hands?
Quote:
Bullsh*t Shennanigans. Everyone knows the rules of Shotgun and this is not part of it. This is some bullsh*t someone pulled on flixa and he fell for it.
Flixa wrote:
Is it werid that i feel like i'm balancing two pieces of salary with peanutbutter in them in each of my hands?
Donate. One day it could be your family.
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
Flixa wrote:
Is it werid that i feel like i'm balancing two pieces of salary with peanutbutter in them in each of my hands?
Silly bigfoot, money doesn't grow on stalks.
No, I will not help you move Tofu.
Love,
PunkFloyd
PunkFloyd
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