So I finally got my first girlfriend (the 60 rogue I posted about on these forums awhile ago) and tomorrow is the day I meet her parents.
Her dad doesn't like me (he hates doctors, and I'm a pre-med major) and I'm not so sure of her mother. In other words, I am absolutely terrified.
I figure, like a raid boss I need a good strategy before facing off. So...tips?
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OT: Scared.Follow
Learn 2 Date...or feign death.
Don't be a coward, if he's overly protective of his daughter the last thing he will want her with is someone who doesn't have the ball's to stick up for her. And by that, I don't mean mouth him off, be respective, but don't get into any conversations with him about things your not sure on where he may make you look like a liar, or try to impress him with any BS, just be yourself.
Shinkyu wrote:
...don't get into any conversations with him about things your not sure on where he may make you look like a liar, or try to impress him with any BS, just be yourself.
QFT.
Just remember.. whose opinion matters more? Your girlfriend's, or her parents? Who are you dating? If she's introducing you to her folks, she must like you... just remember that.
30 posts
WHAT EVER YOU DO DONT TALK ABOUT COMPUTER GAMES!
If you want woman advice, here's a quick tip:
Be honest. If she's any sort of a decent person, she won't care at all what her parents think if you treat her well and will not hurt her without good reason. Tell her parents your intentions if they ask - that you care for their daughter and will spend the time and effort to see where it might take you, but nothing beyond that. Marriage is a no-no, or break-ups, or anything. Just tell them - only if they ask - that she is important to you and you will do your best. If they ask for more than that, well, that's their own loss.
Don't be anything but what you are - that means tell them if you have no idea what they're talking about and don't beat around it. If you don't like the topic, change it, and if they persist, tell them and continue on. Be civil and friendly, and they will probably come to like you well enough. If her dad continues to dislike you because you're a (soon-to-be) doctor, feel free to be as blunt as you deem acceptable in asking him who else he judges by occupation, creed, or what-have-you. Or to be more civil, just ask him why he dislikes doctors and remind him that he does not know you so he has no reason to judge you. You're a smart man, you've been around the forums for a long while - I'm sure you'll be fine.
After all is said and done, if it dosen't all go to hell... thank her for taking you to meet them. That's all you have to say to her if you mean it.
Be honest. If she's any sort of a decent person, she won't care at all what her parents think if you treat her well and will not hurt her without good reason. Tell her parents your intentions if they ask - that you care for their daughter and will spend the time and effort to see where it might take you, but nothing beyond that. Marriage is a no-no, or break-ups, or anything. Just tell them - only if they ask - that she is important to you and you will do your best. If they ask for more than that, well, that's their own loss.
Don't be anything but what you are - that means tell them if you have no idea what they're talking about and don't beat around it. If you don't like the topic, change it, and if they persist, tell them and continue on. Be civil and friendly, and they will probably come to like you well enough. If her dad continues to dislike you because you're a (soon-to-be) doctor, feel free to be as blunt as you deem acceptable in asking him who else he judges by occupation, creed, or what-have-you. Or to be more civil, just ask him why he dislikes doctors and remind him that he does not know you so he has no reason to judge you. You're a smart man, you've been around the forums for a long while - I'm sure you'll be fine.
After all is said and done, if it dosen't all go to hell... thank her for taking you to meet them. That's all you have to say to her if you mean it.
attack, attack, attack.
by this, i mean be forward, be assertive, and be confident. make it know that you care deeply for his daughter and that this caring for her is all that matters to you.
a sense of humor helps. when he asks what you do, say "im a pre-med major". when he says he doesnt like doctors (or pre-meds, whatever) say "thats fine, neither do i" or "pssh, at least you dont have to work with them!" and chuckle a bit. dont be afraid to poke a bit of fun at yourself, but dont go overboard with it. being a bit (just a bit) self-deprecating can often be a good thing, as long as its done sparingly and with good humor.
give him a firm handshake and a good look in the eye. ask questions about what he does for a living and relate stories of what youve done to him if he seems receptive.
above all, dont be cowed, but dont be disrespectful either. youre in their house, so a level of deference is called for. hes the alpha wolf, but youre no omega...youre your own man, so stand firm on whats important to you and as long as you do it in a respectful way you should be ok.
edit:
this is also good. ive been asked the "marriage" question by a lot of people. my response is "i love my girlfriend, and she loves me. what will be, will be." granted, you may not want to use "love" in this context, but something like "i care very much about your daughter, and she cares for me. what will be, will be." would probably suit you in this instance.
Edited, Jan 2nd 2007 9:59pm by Quor
by this, i mean be forward, be assertive, and be confident. make it know that you care deeply for his daughter and that this caring for her is all that matters to you.
a sense of humor helps. when he asks what you do, say "im a pre-med major". when he says he doesnt like doctors (or pre-meds, whatever) say "thats fine, neither do i" or "pssh, at least you dont have to work with them!" and chuckle a bit. dont be afraid to poke a bit of fun at yourself, but dont go overboard with it. being a bit (just a bit) self-deprecating can often be a good thing, as long as its done sparingly and with good humor.
give him a firm handshake and a good look in the eye. ask questions about what he does for a living and relate stories of what youve done to him if he seems receptive.
above all, dont be cowed, but dont be disrespectful either. youre in their house, so a level of deference is called for. hes the alpha wolf, but youre no omega...youre your own man, so stand firm on whats important to you and as long as you do it in a respectful way you should be ok.
edit:
Quote:
Be honest. If she's any sort of a decent person, she won't care at all what her parents think if you treat her well and will not hurt her without good reason. Tell her parents your intentions if they ask - that you care for their daughter and will spend the time and effort to see where it might take you, but nothing beyond that. Marriage is a no-no, or break-ups, or anything. Just tell them - only if they ask - that she is important to you and you will do your best. If they ask for more than that, well, that's their own loss.
this is also good. ive been asked the "marriage" question by a lot of people. my response is "i love my girlfriend, and she loves me. what will be, will be." granted, you may not want to use "love" in this context, but something like "i care very much about your daughter, and she cares for me. what will be, will be." would probably suit you in this instance.
Edited, Jan 2nd 2007 9:59pm by Quor
Just the other day I was trying to remember who the lucky ******* with the marching band, top model, 60 imba AV playing opposite faction Rogue girlfriend was.
Shaolinz. Thine name shall not be forgotten.
As for her father, if he doesn't like doctors, how does he feel about vagabonds? :)
I won't repeat the other good advice you already got, I'll just add this.
First impressions are important.
Be clean (shave, that's very important), well dressed, but not overdressed. No point in showing up in a tux, but shorts and a T-Shirt is pushing it.
Don't show up empty handed, that's a big "Hey, I'm too cheap for your daughter" sign. Ask your girlfriend what type of sweets/booze/plants/whatever they like and get it.
If you are over 21, a nice bottle of wine (don't go bankrupt) is a good gift. If not, try to get the dessert if you're invited to lunch at her place.
Shaolinz. Thine name shall not be forgotten.
As for her father, if he doesn't like doctors, how does he feel about vagabonds? :)
I won't repeat the other good advice you already got, I'll just add this.
First impressions are important.
Be clean (shave, that's very important), well dressed, but not overdressed. No point in showing up in a tux, but shorts and a T-Shirt is pushing it.
Don't show up empty handed, that's a big "Hey, I'm too cheap for your daughter" sign. Ask your girlfriend what type of sweets/booze/plants/whatever they like and get it.
If you are over 21, a nice bottle of wine (don't go bankrupt) is a good gift. If not, try to get the dessert if you're invited to lunch at her place.
All good advice so far. Not much to add except try to relax, don't drink too much, and don't get drawn into discussions about politics or religion. That never ends well. At the end of the day, I'm sure they just want their daughter to be happy and if you do that then they shouldn't have a problem with you. Good luck!
#10REDACTED,
Posted: Jan 03 2007 at 3:20 AM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) Always start with something like: "Good afternoon Sir, I am the one fucking yur little princess" Overprotective Dad's are just a thorn in the as$, and just remember some will hate you regulardless of who you are on mere principle. Just put up with his shit for a few hours, and be yourself. Don't try and impress him, he will just hate you more.
Be confident, but don't be arrogant.
Be respectful, but don't be shy.
Basically, look him in the eye, and talk to him like a fellow man. He doesn't like doctors? I think it's rare that any father WOULDN'T want their daughter with a doctor. It shows you have ambition and a good head on your shoulders, so remember that.
Good luck!
Be respectful, but don't be shy.
Basically, look him in the eye, and talk to him like a fellow man. He doesn't like doctors? I think it's rare that any father WOULDN'T want their daughter with a doctor. It shows you have ambition and a good head on your shoulders, so remember that.
Good luck!
#12REDACTED,
Posted: Jan 03 2007 at 3:32 AM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) Pre-med doesn't mean you are going to become a doctor. It just means you think you are going to be a doctor, until you hit up one too many keg parties. Then you are on the fast track to being a medical assistant with the rest of your ***** up friends.
I'm a dad of a teenager, so here's my perspective. Be confident and respectful, not combative. Address him as Mr. ..., and answer with yes sir or no sir. If the topic should touch upon your sharing computer gaming, just explain that you enjoy playing together, but that your studies come first. Show an interest in what they have to say, and their concerns.
After reading some of the other posts, let me say this. If you go on the offensive and start a fight with the dad, he will react as any defending player would when you come in to capture the flag. He's going to fight back, throw you out of the house, and probably try to bar his daughter from seeing you again. Good job, pwnd.
After reading some of the other posts, let me say this. If you go on the offensive and start a fight with the dad, he will react as any defending player would when you come in to capture the flag. He's going to fight back, throw you out of the house, and probably try to bar his daughter from seeing you again. Good job, pwnd.
I love making huge posts about topics that I care about. I am however going to make this one very short and very sweet. Why? Because it has worked for me several times over. This has potentially been said, I haven't had the drive to read all of the replies. Here we go:
I know this was said: If you are meeting her parents, you don't have to worry about her. Which means,
Focus on her Father. I mean this in complete seriousness. What I have found is that it is really easy for fathers to lose the "enemy trying to steal my daughter" ego by making them talk about themselves. What I do everytime that works, after introductions are through, ask him what he likes to do. What his hobbies are, relate to them as much as possible. I dated a girl who's father was a hunter (lol). He would go into the woods at the asscrack of dawn and bow down a buck, then come home with it in his trunk happy as a pig in crap. I thought it was great so I used to ask him about it all the time. What type of bow he was using, arrows, what his strategies were, how long he has been hunting etc.
Everyone has something they are passionate about, Including her dad. Find out what it is and capitalize on it. That way whenever he sees you he says "hey this guy isn't bad, he gives a damn about what I do". Once the dad likes you, you are golden.
I've had some better friendships with girlfriends parents than some of my own friends. Don't be standoffish, just be yourself.
edit: I swore once or twice un-knowingly lol.
Edited, Jan 3rd 2007 9:39am by Ebonspine
I know this was said: If you are meeting her parents, you don't have to worry about her. Which means,
Focus on her Father. I mean this in complete seriousness. What I have found is that it is really easy for fathers to lose the "enemy trying to steal my daughter" ego by making them talk about themselves. What I do everytime that works, after introductions are through, ask him what he likes to do. What his hobbies are, relate to them as much as possible. I dated a girl who's father was a hunter (lol). He would go into the woods at the asscrack of dawn and bow down a buck, then come home with it in his trunk happy as a pig in crap. I thought it was great so I used to ask him about it all the time. What type of bow he was using, arrows, what his strategies were, how long he has been hunting etc.
Everyone has something they are passionate about, Including her dad. Find out what it is and capitalize on it. That way whenever he sees you he says "hey this guy isn't bad, he gives a damn about what I do". Once the dad likes you, you are golden.
I've had some better friendships with girlfriends parents than some of my own friends. Don't be standoffish, just be yourself.
edit: I swore once or twice un-knowingly lol.
Edited, Jan 3rd 2007 9:39am by Ebonspine
"The quickest way to a girls heart, and places beyond, is through her parents. Have sex with them and your in."
1 gold to whoever can name that qoute.
1 gold to whoever can name that qoute.
Futurama, Where the Buggalo Roam.
Zapp: Now remember, Kif, the quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parents. Have sex with them and you're in.
Edit: Oh and I'm on a European server, don't bother with the gold :)
Edited, Jan 3rd 2007 5:34pm by danieldakkak
Zapp: Now remember, Kif, the quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parents. Have sex with them and you're in.
Edit: Oh and I'm on a European server, don't bother with the gold :)
Edited, Jan 3rd 2007 5:34pm by danieldakkak
What server?
Well said, AnaraWarren. Extremely good advice :)
Oh, and her dad doesn't like doctors THAT much? Heck, if I had a daughter (all sons here, heh) and she was dating a doctor I'd be ecstatic!
Best of luck mate, and do what AnaraWarren suggests.
Oh, and her dad doesn't like doctors THAT much? Heck, if I had a daughter (all sons here, heh) and she was dating a doctor I'd be ecstatic!
Best of luck mate, and do what AnaraWarren suggests.
Link the post from a while ago if you can find it, I want a reference on the beginning of this.
If you're doing dinner with them, it's better to go home a little hungry. In other words, don't take huge portions and take small bites. That way you'll never be caught with your mouth overly-full and thus generate pregnant pauses while everyone waits for you to finish chewing to answer some question. It seems silly but it's worth noting. The small portions is to make sure that you don't finish after everyone else and also it gives you the opportunity to ask for more (assuming this is a home-cooked meal; if it's a restaraunt, you can just ask for a box).
And while he may not like you, don't expect him to be aggressive. If he's never met you, and if his daughter speaks well of you (which I'm assuming she does) then you've got a good chance of getting on his good side.
Today's the big day. Good luck.
And while he may not like you, don't expect him to be aggressive. If he's never met you, and if his daughter speaks well of you (which I'm assuming she does) then you've got a good chance of getting on his good side.
Today's the big day. Good luck.
How to make a good impression....
Take care of their Daughter ! A happy Daughter is your best offensive against parents.
Take care of their Daughter ! A happy Daughter is your best offensive against parents.
Promise him you won't stick it in her butt until after the wedding.
Fathers like a boy with a plan.
Fathers like a boy with a plan.
say "well, i don't know what will happen, but she's kind of cool and she's good in bed, although i can still teach her a thing or two."
:-D just kidding. you already got enough good advice. just don't worry too much, it's not like you're going to see some evil monster.
don't ignore the mother. mothers often are less hard and side with the daughter.
edit: dammit, beaten by 3 minutes.
Edited, Jan 3rd 2007 6:21pm by Turicus
:-D just kidding. you already got enough good advice. just don't worry too much, it's not like you're going to see some evil monster.
don't ignore the mother. mothers often are less hard and side with the daughter.
edit: dammit, beaten by 3 minutes.
Edited, Jan 3rd 2007 6:21pm by Turicus
help do the dishes after dinner, major brownie points.
And while it may sound counter-productive you may not want to hold hands and be touchy until her dad gets used to you.
The mother will think it's cute that you hold hands, the father will just see some guy touching his daughter.
If he drinks, bring beer. Try to find out his favorite.
And I would avoid any jokes about "Playing doctor".
And while it may sound counter-productive you may not want to hold hands and be touchy until her dad gets used to you.
The mother will think it's cute that you hold hands, the father will just see some guy touching his daughter.
If he drinks, bring beer. Try to find out his favorite.
And I would avoid any jokes about "Playing doctor".
Congratulations on the score, if I haven't said that already. You're lucky to find someone who shares the same passion for World of Warcraft as you do.
A month ago this friend of mine on MSN told me she absolutely HATED gamers because they were selfish and completely obsessed with video games. So I told her I was a gamer and now she's my girlfriend. Now I just need to convert her.
Holy ****, I just remembered I'm going to visit her parents for the first time on Wednesday too.
Oh crap. Good luck, mate.
A month ago this friend of mine on MSN told me she absolutely HATED gamers because they were selfish and completely obsessed with video games. So I told her I was a gamer and now she's my girlfriend. Now I just need to convert her.
Holy ****, I just remembered I'm going to visit her parents for the first time on Wednesday too.
Oh crap. Good luck, mate.
Please "talk up" if your comprehension white-shifts. I will use simple-happy language-words to help you understand.
Parents? Parents matter?
Never heard about that...
Be yourself, don't insult them...
If they don't like you're they're **********
Never heard about that...
Be yourself, don't insult them...
If they don't like you're they're **********
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